04. how do I survive as a creative and not hate myself‪?‬ botanical studies of internet magic

this week's chapter on my wayfinding journey is about my years of the creative hustle, in which I tortured myself with the question: “how do I survive as a creative, and not hate myself?"

I’ll explore:


my personal distillations of the prescribed / trailmarked paths of success — for writers, visual artists, and business owners
how I thought something was wrong with me for not climbing those ladders (and what I realized instead)
the illusion of safety + promise of conditional success… (that is, if you just override the self)
why “means to an end” thinking doesn’t work for me
how and why process is my guiding compass instead



this is about my Jump #3: from new creative entrepreneur trying to follow a 10-step plan of "shoulds"… to jumping into the void of my artist-hermit self.





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