38 episodes

Jesse Eigner and Lance Pauker are two comedy chefs in New York City. On stage, they constantly cook up piping hot bits that might burn your mouth if you're not careful. But in your earbuds, the bits are braised, slow cooked to precision and carefully considered.
Braised Bits is an hour of observational humor, good humor ice cream bars, and even some Humor Esiason mixed in. We're talking food, we're talking sports, we're talking awkward situations and the never-ending tide of technological determinism. We're even talking about practice. Come for the fun, stay for the umami.

Braised Bits Braised Bits

    • Improv
    • 5.0, 20 Ratings

Jesse Eigner and Lance Pauker are two comedy chefs in New York City. On stage, they constantly cook up piping hot bits that might burn your mouth if you're not careful. But in your earbuds, the bits are braised, slow cooked to precision and carefully considered.
Braised Bits is an hour of observational humor, good humor ice cream bars, and even some Humor Esiason mixed in. We're talking food, we're talking sports, we're talking awkward situations and the never-ending tide of technological determinism. We're even talking about practice. Come for the fun, stay for the umami.

    #37 Feta World Peace

    #37 Feta World Peace

    00:00- 05:20 - The comedy chefs dip into episode 37 with a discussion about tropical storm Isaias Thomas and their past experiences with Hurricane Sandy Alomar.
    05:20- 06:22 - Lance and Jesse reminisce about Blimp Biscuit and also both agree that hot air balloons are JJ Rediculous.
    06:22- 16:06  - Lance presents some meal prep from two top braiserbacks regarding Publix supermarket and kitchen infrastructure.
    16:06-27:00 - Jesses highlight of the week Mill was the NBA being back and Lances was watching a French mustard reality show called the Circle.
    27:00- 29:15 - The chefs discuss how they wish they could be back in person and the difficulties of recording in the virtual podkitchen.
    29:15- 1:09:55- Jesse and Lance reveal their top nine cheeses.
    1:09:55- 1:12:21- Jesse shares what Lances wife Kates top cheese predictions were for Lance and Wack Goldberg lives up to his name.
    1:12:21-1:14:11- The chefs read advertisements for Feta World Peace and Cheez-Its.
    1:14:11-1:24:04- Lance and Jesse discuss the recent wild story regarding Donald Trump and Patio Mills Pizza.
    1:24:04- 1:37:24 - The “Is that a QAB?” segment has a braiserback getting suspended indefinitely by Jesse. Lance has to deal or no deal with a rowdy party near his apartment.
    1:37:24- 1:39:30 - The chefs bring in the closer and promote the podcast.

    • 1 hr 39 min
    #36 Too Big to Christian Bale

    #36 Too Big to Christian Bale

    00:00-01:44- The chefs start up a fresh episode of Braised Bits by reminiscing about an old Big east village comedy venue.
    01:44-04:30 - The chefs debate the value of agent zero and discuss how the podcast has been recorded virtually for a long time now.
    04:30-07:20 - Lance and Jesse discuss the passing of TV legend Regis Philbin.
    07:20- 09:55 - Jesse shares some feedback he received from the podfather regarding the previous episodes candy Joe list.
    09:55-20:48- The chefs answer questions from two Braiserbacks about where they would move to if they were Attorney General Barred from NYC and also how they would handle telling a child about the reality of Santa Fanta Claus. 
    20:48-32:09- Jesse shares a highlight from the past week about how he and his sister both tried to get each other surprise birthday candles at a restaurant. Lances highlights involved getting out of the city for a hike turner and enjoying a delicious Bill Burrata and Mason Plumlee salad.
    32:09- 1:22:28 - The chefs reveal their top nine things about the grocery store.
    1:22:28- 1:29:45 - The chefs disclose Wacks Yacks and Kates predictions of their top nine lists.
    1:29:45-1:32:10 - Lance reads an ad for Wallbaums supermarkets and Jesse reads an ad for Supermarket Super Mario Kart.
    1:32:10- 1:43:47 - Jesses Is that a QAB has to do with bringing a boogy board to the beach past a certain age and Lances has to do with people not caring about social distancing road rules.
    1:43:47- 1:45:53- The chefs bring in the closer and promote the podcast.

    • 1 hr 45 min
    #35 Jeremy Lindt Truffle

    #35 Jeremy Lindt Truffle

    00:00- 04:03- The comedy chefs dive in to episode thirty-five with a back and forth about old stores in shopping malls.
    04:03- 08:23- The chefs share some fun meal prep about how an artificial intelligence company transcribed an episode of Braised Bits and how chaotic the results were.
    08:23-10:09- Lance chers an email the pod received from his brother regarding our youngest Braiserback as well as how top notch the chicken Jay Cutlet sandwich is on the beach.
    10:09- 15:40 - The pod receives a question from nemesis Eric Seidell regarding the chefs preference between French and Russian service style in a restaurant.
    15:40-29:42- Jesses highlights from the week involved playing golf with Wack Goldberg and eating at a South African restaurant with Phil Jackson. Lances highlights also involved eating outside at a restaurant and watching a thought-provoking episode of Coyote Ugly Delicious. 
    29:42- 1:16:05 - The chefs reveal parm their top nine candies.
    1:16:05-1:21:40- Lances wife Kate and Wack Goldbergs top nine predictions for the chefs are disclosed.
    1:21:40- 1:24:37 - Lance reads an ad for Reeces Peanut Butter cups and Jesse reads an ad for Dum Dum lollipops.
    1:24:37- 1:29:48 - The chefs answer a question from anonymous otter regarding their opinion on the most underrated type of Mike Pizza.
    1:29:48- 1:41:43  - The chefs introduce “Is that a QAB” which is a hybrid segment that combines their previous Is that a Joke and QAB segments. Lances Is that a QAB involves the disconnect between social media and actual reality. Jesses Is that a QAB has to do with how different playing at a golf range is compared to an actual course.
    1:41:43- 1:44:30 - The chefs bring in the closer and Yasiel plug the podcast.

    • 1 hr 43 min
    #34 Tom Paparazzi

    #34 Tom Paparazzi

    00:00- 02:07- The comedy chefs jump into episode thirty four with a metta world peace conversation about the best way to start a podcast recording.
    02:07- 5:38 - Lance and Jesse debate the natural progression of Ice Aging and what “going out” means the older you get.
    5:38- 10:39- Jesse presents some meal prep regarding feedback about his number one beverage choice from the previous episode. 
    10:39- 13:40- Lance cooks up and eats his first ever BLT sandwich and the chefs discuss Tomato theory.
    13:40-23:30 - The chefs talk about their highlights from the previous week, which include Lance doing a deep clean in his apartment and Jesse getting a haircut.
    23:20-1:29:54- The chefs reveal their top nine food TV shows.
    1:29:54- 1:30:51- Jesse introduces a new segment where Lance's wife predicts some of his top 9 list.
    1:30:51- 1:32:50 - Lance shares Wack Goldbergs predictions regarding Jesses top 9 food TV shows.
    1:32:50- 1:34:46 - The chefs read advertisements for Terra veggie chips and Chopt Creative Salads.
    1:34:46- 1:42:36- Jesse shares his Is that A Joke which had him getting swarmed by the local Tom Papparazzi. Lance ITAJ involves him delivering jokes in French (onion soup).
    1:42:36- 1:48:06- Jesses QAB has him getting the wrong type of wing delivery and Lances QAB deals with thirsty emailers.
    1:48:06- 1:50:10 - The chefs bring in the closer and plug what they have going on.

    • 1 hr 50 min
    #33 Egregious Philbin

    #33 Egregious Philbin

    00:00- 3:00 - The Chefs dip in to episode thirty three of Braised Bits after a few false starts due to an echo unlimited issue.
    3:00-5:07- The chefs discuss Torii Hunter/Gathering and how it relates to mens inability to multi task.
    5:07- 12:38 - Lance presents some meal prep including a revelation about ciabatta and some great Enes Banter on the Braised Bits Instagram.
    12:38-29:16 - The chefs talk about their highlights which involve Lance leveling up in the kitchen, him seeing progress with his French Connection lessons and a return to his favorite restaurant. Jesses highlight was him hitting a milestone with his Tik Tok following and finding a niche France for himself on the platform. 
    29:16- 1:31:23 - The chefs reveal their Joe List of top nine beverages.
    1:31:23- 1:33:57- Lance reveals “Wacks Yacks” which is a segment where Wack Goldberg predicts Jesses top nine.
    1:33:57-1:35:07 -Lance reads a tremendous ad for Poland Spring water.
    1:35:07- 1:39:53 - Lances “Is That A Joke” has to do with teenage mutant ninja kids playing basketball next to his apartment throughout a huge St Johns Redstorm. Jesses ITAJ is his Kirk Cousin calling too many fouls during a pickup basketball game.
    1:39:53- 1:50:00 - Lances QAB involves Uber buying PostMaloneMates and Jesses is pool water getting stuck in his Golda Meirs. 
    1:50:00- 1:50:25 - The chefs bring in the closer and promote what they have going on.

    • 1 hr 50 min
    #32 Detlef Shrimp Cocktail

    #32 Detlef Shrimp Cocktail

    00:00-00:56- The chefs dip into the virtual podkitchen and begin episode thirty-two of Braised Bits.
    00:56- 02:15 - Jesse raises the question to Lance if he would travel to space if it was a feasible option offense.
    02:15- 3:11- Lance notices a Vincent Van Gogh print behind Jesse and reflects back on a joke invented by Zackary Snackery. 
    3:11- 4:04 - The chefs discuss the importance of communication skills and in person connections.
    4:04-4:54- Lance is a guest on the Koppen with Comic pod and recruits a new Braiserback.
    4:54-14:14 - The chefs go over some meal prep including a new Braiserback from Kenya, an update on the Rusty Pickle and a follow up on who is Deedee Westbrook.
    14:14-30:46- Lances highlights from the previous week had him ordering his first rideshare car on his way to performing at a rooftop standup show. The show was produced by pod sponsor Pat! Jesses highlight was finding his Demarcus Cousins lost wedding band in their Brian Pool.
    30:46-1:05:38- Jesse and Lance reveal their top nine seafood dishes.
    1:05:38- 1:07:50- Lance introduces a new spice to the podkitchen with Wack Goldberg predicting Jesses Top 9.
    1:07:50- 1:10:10- The chefs read advertisements for the pod involving Red Lobster and Trader Joe’s Key Lime Pie.
    1:10:10- 1:14:18 - Jesses was that a joke was his Kirk Cousin chewing very loudly. Lances WTAJ is the climate lounge in NY.
    1:14:18- 1:19:50- Lances QAB involves Johnny Cash etiquette and Jesses was a group of girls calling an ice cream shop ahead of time to see if they had carrot toppings.

    • 1 hr 21 min

Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5
20 Ratings

20 Ratings

Yeawr ,

Coming in hot!

If you are not a briaser-back, I suggest you give it a listen and become one. It's always great material. And don’t kid yourself - you ain’t doing anything productive anyway while we social distance and self-quarantine. Braised bits - they are coming in hot, whether you’re ready or not!

iheartthebish ,

Funny

Ridiculous topics and funny riffs have enjoyed it so far

ComedyBitSlut ,

Hungry For Comedy?

Do you like Humor? Good Humor..Good Burger..Big Mac..Marc McGuire. Did you understand that? If so you get the show

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