Staying, Leaving and Surviving a Spouse's Addiction But Not All At Once

Author Ashley Adams is a happily married mother of three; if you saw her around her Virginia hometown, you'd never guess what she's survived.

Today Ashley shares her years-long struggle to decide if she should leave or stay in her first marriage to a man who secretly battled alcoholism. With two toddlers, she became a single mother who would eventually walk them through the loss of their father to his addiction.

Unable to find the resources she needed, Ashley wrote her own; you can find her books here or connect with Ashley on Instagram.

But Not All At Once has also addressed changing your relationship with alcohol, whether it's an addiction or a habit you want to re-examine, in an episode with sobriety coach Kim Banks.

Please know that there is zero judgment in our community. Seeking support is incredibly brave; there can absolutely be change, hope, and brighter days ahead. If you need help addressing substance abuse, please call 1-800-662-HELP.

Moved by this episode? Send your own questions for Ashley to hello@butnotallatonce.com, and look for her follow-up discussion this summer on Patreon.

But Not All At Once will be back with a Prince Harry/Armchair Expert podcast breakdown soon, as well as an update from our first-ever guest, Meredith Jaggard, on Patreon next week. A $3 Patreon subscription gets you extra episodes, videos, giveaways, and catch-ups with fan favorites like Meredith. And it makes the work we do possible. Thank you!


Thanks for being here, y'all! I'd love your thoughts, questions, ideas, and everything in between. You can find me at @ButNotAllAtOnce on social media or ButNotAllAtOnce.com.

For extra content, additional episodes, and upcoming details about possible 2023 in-person events, visit Patreon.