The show is about the Delaney Family's caregiving for someone with dementia. My mother has had dementia for four years now, In the show, we talk about things we do and don't do because of dementia. I 'm hoping that this podcast will help someone Who's in the same situation.
So basically the show is a little bit about things to do and things not to do with someone with dementia.
Life After Caregiving Part 2
This Episode is a continuation of what went on after Mommy was picked up.
Life After Care Giving Part 1
This is the first of a few episodes that goes through what you may feel right immediately after your loved one passes away. There's not a whole lot of show notes of these episodes it's just me talking about what happened immediately after mommy's death. What I thought would happen that didn't and that kind of thing. I hope these few episodes help you get along for a few months immediately following your loved one's death.
A Happy Thanksgiving Message
This episode is a brief message to all those who are still downloading the podcast happy Thanksgiving to all
Caregiving journey ended
The hardest talk a family can never have.
Episode # 93
There comes a time in caregivers journey that they know time
is very close to running out. We hear caregiving for dementia have realized
The past five days Mama has not eat anything at all, the past
four days Mama has not drank anything, and for the past three days Mama’s been
very hard to wake up at all. When she is awake it’s about two minutes and she’s
right back out.
Mamas, breathing has also changed its no longer normal
breathing. Doesn’t look the same, doesn’t sound the same as the normal
breathing does Mama breeze through her mouth now and has for the past three
days. And also she’s breathing through her mouth it’s not as loud as you would
think it should be.
If you listen to me anytime at all you know that we keep my
older brother and his wife informed as to what mamas doing anytime something
changes with Mama last night we had the hardest conversation the family can
have. We talked about what to do when this journey is over. What to expect and
what not to expect from Mama. From the people that we need to talk to when it’s
done. What we want and what we don’t want as for his funeral arrangements.
I guess I’m kind of lucky in this respect because my older
brothers always told me that he married mom, meaning that his wife and mom
think an awful lot alike and I know from my own standpoint I’ve had
conversations with mom and turned around had same conversation with his wife
and dam near had the same conversation and there was no way, absolutely no way
that mom and his wife had talked.
So now I find myself trying to come to grips with the fact of
not having mom in the living room. Mama not be in there when I come home from
the store. Not knowing exactly how to fill. All kind of emotions are floating
through my head, my heart, and I’m sure that the same kind of things are going
on with Stephanie and Michael I’m sure they have all kind of feelings running
through their brains as well. Feeling helpless is probably my number one
feeling right now. Not being able to help mom do anything at all.
Everything is changing
so rapidly this week, although mom is still with us for now we are getting
prepared for Mama’s last trip to West Virginia.
I’m not sure if there
will be in episode next couple weeks I’ll have to play that by ear.
Things we take for granted as Caregivers
There are so many things in life that normal people take for
granted. This becomes more apparent the longer you take care of your loved one.
There are things that I take for granted because there things that come natural
to me that Mama can no longer do for herself.
Mama can no longer wash her face, brush her hair, brush her
teeth, or even talk. Mama tries so hard to talk to us and you can see the
frustration in her face as she tries to say something and can’t. Mama tries to
hold a cup of something to drink and because of her Parkinson’s she shakes so
bad that some of whatever’s in the cup spills out. Mama so apologetic when she
makes a mess.
One of the things that I have taken for granted myself in my
caregiving was the fact that when Mama was taking care of my grandmother who
fortunately was not as bad as Mama is Mama never asked me to stay with grandma
to help with grandma. I always had free time on my hands to do whatever I
wanted to do. And I’ve forgotten that in my caregiving because we were leaving
Michael with his grandmother way too much. We sought that it was good training
for a after all he is old enough to have a child of his own. And until recently
here we did not realize that Michael was having a troubled time taking care of
his grandmother. And I’ve forgotten how much free time I had with my
A lot of times I’ll go out and check on Mama and mamas
asleep, but there are other times where mamas really fidgety, and the only
thing I can do is just sit there to chair and hold her hand. Tell her she’s
okay, tell her that she’s safe, that I love her.
A lot of the time in my own caregiving, I take for granted
the fact that I can go brush my teeth, my mouth. Mama can no longer do that and
here the other day I was trying to give her some ice water out of a spoon and
this white flaky something another come out of her mouth. I asked Mama said
Mama what is that and of course I didn’t get a straight answer, all I got the
beat was mumbo-jumbo, come to find out what ever this crap was all through her
mouth, was on her tongue, the roof of her mouth. Now I don’t have nerve enough
to stick my fingers in my mother’s mouth! That’s just not going to happen. So I
ended up taking a toothbrush and brushing her mouth her teeth, the roof of her
So if your loved one stops eating check their mouth make sure
this pasty crusty group is not in their mouth. Because it could stop them from
eating could stop them from swallowing.
Helped me cope with my husband
My husband died on September 1st of fronto temporal (frontal lobe) demenia. Michael Delaney's infromation helped me cope with my husband's disease. I thought for sure that my husband would outlive Michael's mother, but that was not to be the case. I cared for my husband mostly by myself at home. We visited a memory care nursing home once for a few hours. NOT FOR US! Being home was best for us, but not easy. Thank you Michael.