Chani had several life detours including an accident and being unable to have children. She learned to trust God through adoption, foster care, and life.
Episode Discussion PointsHow being hit by a car at 15 changed her life dreams of being an Olympic athlete
How a photo of Jesus and a simple saying helped her to keep going
How one phone call from a doctor shattered her dreams for having children
The questions she asked God after finding out she wouldn’t have biological children
How Chantelle grieved for the children she would never have, and how it is totally normal to grieve lost expectations.
What adoption looks like, and the roller-coaster of emotions it brings.
Why waiting in limbo is really hard and the piece of advice that kept her going when they didn’t get picked for adoption.
What it felt like when her son was placed in her arms.
Can adoptive moms have baby blues after adopting a baby?
The things she did to pull out of the blues.
Why it is important to be open and honest when we are struggling.
The dream of having a baby girl that kept recurring, and the different emotions that went with that.
What it is like to be a foster parent.
Find and enjoy the season you are in right now and find the everyday miracles.
Lessons Learned Through Her TrialsPatience--learning to wait for God's timing.
God is there. He cares—even about the little foster care kids she has in her home.
There are miracles everywhere—little messages from God if we can see them.
Let go of the “control” of your life and let God guide you. His path is better. Trust Him.
Remembering and looking back on times in the past when God has helped you through tough situations helps us be okay to trust Him with the issues we are facing today.
Self-care isn’t a luxury it is a necessity to keep us going in a more balanced manner. Some of the things Chani does for self-care are:
A daily devotional where she can connect with God.
Time to meditate and be still and listen. Chani uses the Ten Percent Happier app to help her meditate. https://www.tenpercent.com/ (https://www.tenpercent.com/)
Exercise, moving and getting outside.
Take a break when you need a breather because life is “too much.”
Writing can help you get your thoughts and feelings out—both the positives and the negatives. Writing also helped her see the patterns in her life. Chani used a program https://calliopewritingcoach.com/ (https://calliopewritingcoach.com/) to help her write her story into a book.
My Favorite TakeawaysI loved two quotes Chani said that work really well paired together: “Heavenly Father seems to know I grow the most when I’m asked to wait.” She also added to this by saying, "The best way to get there is His way, not mine.” It takes a lot of trust in God to let Him help us navigate the detours in our lives, but it all works out...eventually.
Favorite Bible VerseMatthew 11:28-30
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.Chani loves this verse which the Savior speaks because, “it is an invitation to share that burden together.” And “He can help better than I can do it myself.”
Connect with Chanihttps://www.chanibarlow.com/ (https://www.chanibarlow.com/)
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TranscriptionYou can find the complete transcription of this episode here: https://tamarakanderson.com/podcasts/chani-barlow-my-life-didnt-turn-out-how-i-thought (https://tamarakanderson.com/podcasts/chani-barlow-my-life-didnt-turn-out-how-i-thought)