In this episode, we’re joined by Candace, a Rochester, New York woman. She moved a lot in her youth but eventually settled in Vermont where she started her business as a hairstylist. She’s been running her business for 10 years now.
Candace’s defining moment was one of the rawest moments of her life—the moment she decided to leave her husband. When she got married, she was certain that “making it” was a matter of determination. Looking back, she realizes this perspective came from a place of judgment.
Before separating, she had been arguing with her husband for some time. This arguing had escalated into verbal abuse. She knew staying was no longer an option, especially if she wanted to have respect for herself and for her family. One thing that surprised her after she left her husband was how very few people reached out to her.
In the beginning, it was incredibly difficult. She was with her husband for 27 years. It took a huge adjustment and about six months for her to feel like she was on her feet again. Since their divorce, she has gone without contact with her husband. She’s allowing her children to navigate their relationship with their dad independently of her.
So, how do you know when it’s time to leave your marriage? Check your boundaries. If your boundaries are getting fuzzy, or they are being pushed, it might be an indication you need to move on. Check your head, check your finances, and wherever you are, make sure you feel safe and well.