City Church Tulsa City Church Tulsa

GOD & SEXUALITY
Brokenness
9.24.23

Secularism disciples a man to learn to live without God

1 Thessalonians 4:3-8
It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4 that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, 5 not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; 6 and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. 7 For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.8 Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit.

Romans 1:21-23
21 For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22 Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools 23 and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like a mortal human being and birds and animals and reptiles.

When we reject who God is, we inevitably create a god that looks like us.

Romans 1:24-28
24 Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another.25 They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.
26 Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. 27 In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.
28 Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done. continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.


John Mark Comer
Deceptive ideas (the devil) -- that play to disordered desires (the flesh) - that are normalized in a sinful society (the world)

When a generation turns away from God and His design, it is the next generation's responsibility to restore it.

We must be willing to stand in the face of cultural secularism with a vision of God’s design for our sexuality
We must be God’s holy people; living in God’s design for our sexuality.
We must continue to love well with both grace and truth; leading people into freedom and life in Christ.

Love is a rugged commitment to someone, which involves presence, advocacy, and companionship over time as we walk toward the kingdom of God - which means growing in holiness, love, and righteousness together. – Scot McKnight

GOD & SEXUALITY
Part I: Beauty
9.17.23

Major shifts in sexuality over the last fifty years:
Sex has been disconnected from child-bearing and the family
Sex has been disconnected from marriage
Sex has been disconnected from male/female relationships
Sex has been disconnected from love, emotion, and relational commitment of any kind

Secularism – the language of our current culture which disciples a person to learn to live without God

Our identity is what gives us meaning, self-worth, and purpose. It drives us and often defines the community we belong to.

Our culture has normalized the lie that both identity and sexuality are one and the same.

The American Psychology Association defines sexual orientation as “referring to a person's sense of identity, based on those attractions, related behaviors, and membership in a community of others who share those attractions."

If you are a follower of Jesus, your primary identity is found in Christ. This is central to the Christian faith.

3 MAIN STORIES ABOUT SEXUALITY IN OUR WORLD:

Secular Story
Exploration
Identity
Rights
Pleasure

Shame Story
Repress
Legalism/Moralism
Hypocrisy
Secrecy
Fear

Sacred Story
Formation
Grace
Transformation
Belonging
Design

How do we live in God’s beautiful design for sexuality?

We see sex and sexuality as a part of God's good creation

Our sexuality is not just about saying “No!” It is saying “Yes” to God’s beautiful design for us.

2. We realize how sin disconnected us from God and others and our desire for connection

3. We recognize God’s design and framework for our sexuality require surrender

4. We acknowledge that our sexuality and desire for connection are pointing us to something far superior

We eventually realize that, here in this life, all symphonies remain unfinished. – Karl Rahner

Luke 20:27, 34-36
27 Some of the Sadducees, who say there is no resurrection, came to Jesus with a question.

34 Jesus replied, “The people of this age marry and are given in marriage. 35 But those who are considered worthy of taking part in the age to come and in the resurrection from the dead will neither marry nor be given in marriage, 36 and they can no longer die; for they are like the angels. They are God’s children, since they are children of the resurrection.

Own your pain and the incompleteness of living in this in-between
Give up false messianic expectations of love, marriage, and sexuality
Go inward and learn the deep soul work of solitude, contentment, and self-control
Embrace the restfulness and restlessness of your sexuality

Book of James
Prayer of Faith
Sept. 10th

James 4:1-3
1What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? 2You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it. 3And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure.

Why is it so hard to ask for things from God?

James 5:13
Are any of you suffering hardships? You should pray.

Prayer needs to be planned
Adopt practical ways to impede mental drift
In different times and in different seasons, seek out people to pray with
Get around people who pray
Develop a system for your prayer lists
Mix praise, confession, and intercession and tie as much of it as you can back to the Scriptures.
Pray until you pray

James 5:16
Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.

Psalm 32:3-4
When I refused to confess my sin, my body wasted away, and I groaned all day long. Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy upon me. My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat.

David Eagleman
You have competing populations in your brain – one part that wants to tell something and one part that doesn’t. There is a real physiological battle going on in the brain. So keeping certain behaviors secret, especially behaviors that is seen or understood to be “wrong” means continual struggle with yourself. The internal dissonance and lack of sense of personal integrity is draining. The struggle involved in keeping a secret is stressful. This means that your brain will register the fact that there are increased levels of stress hormones going through your bloodstream as a result of this struggle to keep your secret. Your brain does not enjoy this stress. Those living duplicitous lives live with the stress of keeping a whole section of their life secret from the people they see every day and care about. The fact that their brains are marinated in stress hormones due to keeping the secret, over and above the effects of the wrongdoing themselves, can cause an impairment in the person’s ability to stay healthy and function well.

The only way to kill darkness is to drag it into the light. You will not win on your own.

Francis Posada
What do I do to you in prayer? Do I not listen to you? Do I not give you delight? Do I not give you light? Do I not give you tenderness? Do I not forgive you? Do I not stir your wills to fervour? Do I not delight your minds? Do I not give sweetness to your souls? Do I not purify your consciousness? Why, then, do you flee? Why do you not stay in my presence? Yes, stay in my presence, for I am like the flower which gives out more fragrance, the more it is touched and handled. If you want to breathe my perfumes, stay in my presence, do not let go of my hand, and you will see how you will walk in the odour of these perfumes, as spouses do… Pray, for if you are sinful, I will make you good; if lukewarm, I will make you fervent; if you are imperfect, you will find perfection. Pray and you will come to know what I am for you.

THE BOOK OF JAMES
Patience in Suffering
9.3.23

We don’t mind waiting as long as we believe we are in control of the timing and the outcomes.

Outline for James 5:5-12
Be patient; the Lord is coming.
Be patient; God is accomplishing something in you.
Be patient with each other.
Be patient; God's promises are true.

Be patient; the Lord is coming.
Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s coming.

Be patient; God is accomplishing something in you.
See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near.

Be patient with each other.
Don’t grumble against one another, brothers and sisters, or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door!

Be patient; God's promises are true.
Brothers and sisters, as an example of patience in the face of suffering…you have heard of Job’s perseverance.


Patience is a hard discipline. It is not just waiting until something happens over which we have no control: the arrival of the bus, the end of the rain, the return of a friend, the resolution of a conflict. Patience is not a waiting passivity until someone else does something. Patience asks us to live the moment to the fullest, to be completely present to the moment, to taste the here and now, to be where we are. When we are impatient we try to get away from where we are. We behave as if the real thing will happen tomorrow, later and somewhere else. Let’s be patient and trust that the treasure we look for is hidden in the ground on which we stand.
Henri Nouwen, Bread for the Journey

BOOK OF JAMES
The Fruit of Wisdom & Humility
8.27.23

Wisdom requires understanding
Understanding requires demonstration
Demonstration requires humility

Two ways to live your life:
HUMILITY: serving others for the glory of God
PRIDE: elevating yourself for your own self-glory

Matthew 11:28-30
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”


How is the fruit of humility grown?
A revelation of our sin
Understanding what God has accomplished for us through Jesus
Through the work of the Spirit in us

James 4:1-10
What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? 2 You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. 3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.
4 You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. 5 Or do you think Scripture says without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us? 6 But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:
“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”

7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9 Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom.10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

Using Wisdom in Conflict:
Ask for the Spirit to help you before addressing conflict
Establish rules and boundaries for how you will deal with conflict before you get into conflict
Don’t respond when emotions are high
Be willing to be honest and have the necessary conversations in love
Own your part of the conflict
Use language and a heart that moves you toward peace and reconciliation
Honor the other person as “made in the image of God” even in your disagreement

The Power of Words
8-20-23

The tongue of the righteous is choice silver; the heart of the wicked is of little worth. The lips of the righteous feed many. But fools die for lack of sense.
Prov. 10:20–21

The mouth of the righteous brings forth wisdom, but the perverse tongue will be cut off. The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable, but the mouth of the wicked, what is perverse.
Prov. 10:31–32

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.
Proverbs 18:21


Words Require Reverence

Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. 2 We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.
James 3:1-2

2. Words Require Restraint

7 All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, 8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
James 3:7-8

3. Words Reveal Our Heart


9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness.10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12 My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

45 The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.
Luke 6:45


The fruit we produce will correspond with our nature, therefore our words and our worship should line up as being produced from the same source.


When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. 2 Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. 3 They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. 4 All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues[a] as the Spirit enabled them.
Acts 2:1-4