Codependency, Money Shame, and Financial Anxiety with Lindsay Bryan-Podvin, LMSW The Codependummy Podcast

How can codependency contribute to financial anxiety?
What can we do if we have poor boundaries around lending, spending, and giving money to others, especially family?
Why our need-to-please can lead us to poor financial decisions and what we can do to stop being such dummies with money--listen now!
 
In this podcast episode, Marissa speaks with Lindsay Bryan-Podvin, LMSW about codependency, money shame, and financial anxiety. Lindsay discusses ways how our codependency can lead to a) poor boundaries around money, b) difficulty bringing up money with others due to a fear of disapproval, and c) financial anxiety when it comes to spending on ourselves (since we are not allowed to!). Lindsay shares her experiences working with clients on their financial issues and common themes she sees with those struggling to set limits, especially with codependent family relations. 
 
Thanks for listening! 
 
About this episode’s guest: 
Lindsay Bryan-Podvin is a biracial financial therapist, speaker, and Plutus-nominated author. In her therapy practice, she uses shame-free financial therapy to help people get their minds and money in balance. Additionally, she's expanded her services to help therapists with their money mindset, niching, and authentic marketing. She lives with her partner and their dog in Ann Arbor, Michigan.
 
Lindsay’s information:
www.mindmoneybalance.com
Instagram @MindMoneyBalance
Twitter @MindMNYBalance
Free quiz on Financial Archetypes: www.mindmoneybalance.com/podcast
 
More deets on this episode:
 
Question one: What is financial therapy? According to Lindsay, it’s aim is to help clients “cultivate a healthy relationship with money.” Financial therapy is a more nuanced way to look at money that elicits the feelings and emotions that come up around money. 
 
Question two: How did Lindsay come to be a financial therapist? “I had an interest in money because in my first job post-grad school was paid less than I made waitressing.” Say what? Lindsay discusses her endeavors to find out about money, personal finance “but a lot of it was shame-based.” She wanted to address money without shaming and blaming people which led her to her practice focusing on financial therapy. 
 
Question three: How has Lindsay seen codependency interwoven with money issues? “It’s all over the place!” Lindsay most sees it in adult-child relationships as well as between adult children: siblings. For example, a parent who pays their child’s rent or a sibling who lends money to their financially irresponsible sibling. 
 
Question four: Scenario--if I’m codependent with my mom, and she supplements my rent, why would I want her to stop doing that? “It’s like a failure-to-launch issue. It’s great your parents supplement your rent, but will that last forever?” Lindsay poses questions about how sustainable that is to be codependent on others financially...which it’s not! “That money comes with strings attached.” Oh, truth!
 
Question five: How do we name “codependent” financial behavior for what it is? “I start where my client’s at.” Lindsay asks them how they feel about the codependent behaviors: “Is this a problem for you?” If it isn’t, she doesn’t address it. If they identify it as a problem, then she does help them name the “codedendent” behaviors around money for what it is (in place of “generosity”).
 
Question six: How do we start to create boundaries surrounding our codependent behaviors? “It depends on the culture and context.” Lindsay describes all the timelines, cultural norms, and expectations we have that contribute to what financial independence looks like for every individual. “You really can say no to taking money from your parents.”
 
Question seven: When her clients start to build a boundary, what is it like for Lindsay to witness their empowerment? “We do feel infantilized when we are supported financially