63 episodes

Betrayal nearly destroyed us, but we found ways to rebuild the trust and restore our relationship--and we did it without splitting up! Now our marriage is much better than before.



We'll use our 20+ years of researching best practices to give helpful techniques for your own relationship.



***The (S) after the Episode number means it shouldn't trigger women who are hurting from betrayal. Even still, please use your best judgment.



--Lori and Jay, Relationship Mentors

Coffee with The Couple Cure Jay & Lori Pyatt

    • Kids & Family
    • 4.7 • 11 Ratings

Betrayal nearly destroyed us, but we found ways to rebuild the trust and restore our relationship--and we did it without splitting up! Now our marriage is much better than before.



We'll use our 20+ years of researching best practices to give helpful techniques for your own relationship.



***The (S) after the Episode number means it shouldn't trigger women who are hurting from betrayal. Even still, please use your best judgment.



--Lori and Jay, Relationship Mentors

    Are Emotional Affairs Actually Affairs? (it’s not difficult) – 4.08S

    Are Emotional Affairs Actually Affairs? (it’s not difficult) – 4.08S

    Unfortunate ideas can get twisted in a person’s mind, leading them to have affairs; ideas like, “But if my wife were the right person…” We discuss this with author Matt Fray, and we also cover the question: Are emotional affairs truly affairs–and what can make it all less difficult?







    TIMESTAMPS (click on a time below to be taken to that section)

    0:00 Intro / Defensiveness & intimidation

    1:25 “I care about you, but I care about myself more”

    2:20 Can be abusive (“don’t ruin my good time”)

    3:21 Are emotional affairs truly affairs? *

    6:39 One solution: Why not create that with your wife?

    7:18 If (this) then it’s not difficult

    7:42 This blindness can lead to affairs *

    10:05 “But if my wife were the right person…” *

    12:42 Getting help: what it is and isn’t

    13:14 In the next episode: What if the goal is to have an affair?



    --



    https://thecouplecure.com - Jay and Lori's website

    https://matthewfray.com - Matt's website

    https://pornpainhealed.com - Lori's site for betrayed partners

    https://porniskillingme.com - Jay's site for porn addiction recovery





    #defensiveness

    #affairs

    #emotionalaffairs

    #relationships

    • 13 min
    Can Lying Actually Cause PTSD? (needs addicts focus on) – 4.07S

    Can Lying Actually Cause PTSD? (needs addicts focus on) – 4.07S

    Can porn use and lies lead to PTSD? And what can be done when someone says, “Why won’t you lighten up?” We cover those topics in our continued talk with author, Matt Fray.







    TIMESTAMPS (click on a time below to be taken to that section)

    0:00 Intro

    0:20 Unmet needs & PTSD after broken trust *

    0:58 The addicts we see tend to focus on these needs

    1:43 One solution to “Why won’t you lighten up?” *

    2:42 Death by 1000 cuts

    3:12 Porn use & Lies (“our early mistakes”)

    4:38 Whether affairs, prostitutes or porn… *

    5:37 Porn can be more than a breach of trust; it can actually cause PTSD

    7:24 Disclaimer: Please seek a licensed professional if needed

    8:09 In the next episode: Emotional affairs & what can be done instead





    #betrayaltrauma

    #needs

    #pornaddiction

    #lies

    • 8 min
    She’s Not Meeting My Needs! (is safety actually a need?) – 4.06S

    She’s Not Meeting My Needs! (is safety actually a need?) – 4.06S

    Are her needs more important than his? No, but as you’ll see in this video, his most important needs are usually already met. Our female clients can’t say the same, and this reduces feelings of safety. But is safety actually a need?



    TIMESTAMPS

    0:00 Intro

    0:11 Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs within relationships *

    1:32 Different levels of needs

    4:22 One Solution: Safety is also about reliability (so prioritize it) *

    6:15 Jay’s caution: Some emotional abuse happens through sex *

    8:17 A story about reliability

    8:43 Maslow’s Needs & Self-Actualization

    10:11 In the next episode: How the needs addicts focus on tends to harm relationships

    --

    https://thecouplecure.com - Jay and Lori's website

    https://matthewfray.com - Matt's website

    https://pornpainhealed.com - Lori's site for betrayed partners

    https://porniskillingme.com - Jay's site for porn addiction recovery

    #safety

    #needs

    #trust

    #connect

    #relationships

    #marriageadvice

    • 10 min
    When the One who Broke Trust Can’t Trust You (vulnerability) – 4.05S

    When the One who Broke Trust Can’t Trust You (vulnerability) – 4.05S

    What if the person who's broken your trust says, “I did that because I can’t trust you!” Today we cover that, as well as the topic of vulnerability with author Matt Fray.



    TIMESTAMPS

    0:00 Intro

    0:11 When the man who broke trust says he can’t trust her *

    2:08 Vulnerability isn’t weak (it’s THIS that’s weak)

    3:42 Hiding (this) from the partner *

    4:07 One Solution: Something that leads to relief *

    5:20 In the next episode: Safety in relationships





    --





    https://thecouplecure.com - Jay and Lori's website

    https://matthewfray.com - Matt's website

    https://pornpainhealed.com - Lori's site for betrayed partners

    https://porniskillingme.com - Jay's site for porn addiction recovery





    #trust

    #addicts

    #joy

    #vulnerability

    • 5 min
    How to Increase Intimacy (will it take divorce?) – 4.04S

    How to Increase Intimacy (will it take divorce?) – 4.04S

    “Change doesn’t happen until it gets painful enough.” Is this true, and if so, what does it look like? That’s what we cover with author and coach Matt Fray.



    TIMESTAMPS

    0:00 Intro

    0:11 Will it take divorce before he ‘gets it’?

    2:02 What gets through to guys *

    4:20 It doesn’t take more pain when these things happen

    7:46 One Solution: One way for guys to learn vulnerability

    9:34 One Solution: How to increase intimacy (Note: Please go at the betrayed partner’s speed) *

    10:31 In the next episode: Hiding certain things from your partner



    --





    https://thecouplecure.com - Jay and Lori's website

    https://matthewfray.com - Matt's website

    https://pornpainhealed.com - Lori's site for betrayed partners

    https://porniskillingme.com - Jay's site for porn addiction recovery



    #vulnerability

    #boundaries

    #divorce

    #intimacy

    • 10 min
    Keys to Successful Relationships (then don’t be married) – 4.03S

    Keys to Successful Relationships (then don’t be married) – 4.03S

    Matthew Fray tells what it all comes down to in marriage… and how he felt right after his divorce. Also find out when he would tell a person, “Fine, then don’t be married.”

    TIMESTAMPS

    0:00 Intro / The crux of it all in marriage *

    2:45 What defined Matt’s emotions? / Who is most responsible?

    3:59 “7 out of 10 marriages end” *

    6:19 What ruined Matt’s last day of work

    8:29 Jay commends Matt for this

    9:47 How Matt felt right after his divorce

    10:45 One Solution: Key to successful relationships *

    11:35 If it’s not a 10 on the pain scale…

    11:55 In the next episode: Will it take divorce for him to get it?



    https://thecouplecure.com – Jay and Lori’s website

    https://matthewfray.com – Matt’s website

    https://pornpainhealed.com – Lori’s site for betrayed partners

    https://porniskillingme.com – Jay’s site for porn addiction recovery

    #trust

    #marriageadvice

    #divorce

    #relationships

    • 12 min

Customer Reviews

4.7 out of 5
11 Ratings

11 Ratings

ghettofredddy ,

Honest & Encouraging Info!

Real honest information from very real people.

Top Podcasts In Kids & Family

Dr. Becky Kennedy
Dr. Laura
Girl's Girls Media
Tinkercast | Wondery
American Public Media
Story Pirates

You Might Also Like

Steve Moore & Mark Kastleman
Duane Osterlind & Marnie Breecker
Robert Weiss, PhD, MSW
Pure Desire Ministries
with Emily P. Freeman