The Communicate & Connect Podcast for Military Relationships Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: Military Marriage Counselor and Educator

Welcome back to The Communicate & Connect Podcast with your host, Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky. Today, we continue our special series on attachment in relationships and are joined by Dr. Clare Rosoman, a Clinical Psychologist in Brisbane, Australia. She is an international trainer in Emotionally Focused Therapy and is the author of "An Emotionally Focused Guide to Relationship Loss: Life after Love," and its companion workbook, Dr. Rosoman brings compassion, expertise, and grounded advice on navigating the turbulent seas of heartbreak. Before we dive in, remember to take our ARE quiz based on the brief accessibility, responsiveness, and engagement scale to assess the attachment dynamics in your own relationships.

In this episode, we’ll explore the realities of divorce rates among military couples and delve into the "Goldilocks flexibility" needed to manage the delicate balance between honoring our feelings and moving forward pragmatically. Dr. Rosoman will reveal how your attachment style can be a guiding north star through the process of healing and growth after a relationship loss.
Together, Dr. Rosoman and I discuss attachment theory as it relates to our need for closeness, comfort, and the inevitable impact on our emotional regulation when bonds are severed. We'll also share personal reflections on how varying attachment strategies play out in real life, particularly through the lens of military deployments.
This episode isn’t just about loss—it's a beacon of hope for rediscovering your capacity to thrive post-divorce, and a reminder that through understanding and grieving, we can emerge resilient and ready for deeper connections.
So, let's navigate the journey of relationship loss and the transformative power of attachment theory. Whether you're grappling with the end of a relationship or seeking to understand your emotional landscape, we're here to guide you through it—with grace, empathy, and insight.
>>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most. 
Access the ARE: Are You There for Me? Relationship Quiz to help you understand the quality and security of your relationship Read the show notes for this episode here.

Welcome back to The Communicate & Connect Podcast with your host, Elizabeth Polinsky. Today, we continue our special series on attachment in relationships with a highly anticipated guest, Dr. Bill Senyard, who brings 25 years of pastoral counseling experience and a deep understanding of attachment theory principles. Before we dive in, remember to take our ARE quiz based on the brief accessibility, responsiveness, and engagement scale to assess the attachment dynamics in your own relationships.

In this episode, we'll explore the profound questions of "can I count on you" and "am I worthy of love," as we discuss how our earliest experiences shape our capacity for forming secure emotional connections. Dr. Senyard will guide us through the four quadrants of attachment theory—secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized—shedding light on how these styles influence our behaviors and relationships.

We also delve into the intersection of attachment theory and spirituality, examining how a relationship with God can provide a sense of security and value, aiding in emotional self-regulation. Dr. Senyard shares insights into how spiritual attachment impacts interactions in our relationships, with a special focus on the unique challenges that military families may face.

Through this journey, we'll confront the fear cycle, understand how to express hurt constructively, and learn the role of pastoral and EFT marriage counseling in fostering secure connections. Dr. Senyard will also introduce his "good enough parent online" program, offering faith-based, scientific parenting tips catered to improving parent-teen interactions, a resource that's especially relevant to our military families listening in.

Whether you're looking to strengthen your relationship with your partner, navigate parenting in the digital age, or understand the power dynamics within spirituality, this episode provides guidance to help you out. So tune in as we seek to communicate, connect, and grow together right here on The Communicate & Connect Podcast.
>>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most. 
Access the ARE: Are You There for Me? Relationship Quiz to help you understand the quality and security of your relationship Read the show notes for this episode here.

Welcome to The Communicate & Connect Podcast, where we dive deep into the heart of relationships to uncover the secrets of connection and communication. I'm your host, Elizabeth Polinsky, and in today’s episode, we're joined by Dr. James Hawkins, an expert Emotional Focused Therapy Trainer. Together, we'll explore the world of attachment theory in relationships, especially through the lens of military couples.
The very essence of attachment – our inherent need for close, intimate connections – can sometimes lead us into a dance of pursuit and withdrawal with our partners. We’ll delve into why 80% of couples fall into this relationshiip pattern and how our past experiences shape the way we reach for or respond to our loved ones.
Dr. Hawkins brings a unique perspective to the table, teaching us how to navigate emotional signals, the effects of emotional flooding, and the importance of a "mission" focus in our relationships. In discussing implications for military coouuples, we discuss the invaluable role of rituals in maintaining connections despite physical distance and the strategy of visual and emotional connection during times of separation.
For all you military couples out there, we understand the nuances of emotional regulation that your lifestyle demands. From turning down the dimmer switch of emotions during deployments, to flicking it back on to reconnect with family post-deployment, this episode aims to shed light on the delicate balance needed for a secure attachment bond – a cornerstone of resilient relationships.
As always, remember that while our podcast is packed with valuable insights, it's not a substitute for professional therapy. We encourage you to take our attachment quiz (link below) to gain a deeper understanding of your relationship's dynamics and know when it may be time to seek counseling.
>>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most. 
Access the ARE: Are You There for Me? Relationship Quiz to help you understand the quality and security of your relationship Read the show notes for this episode here.

Welcome to The Communicate and Connect Podcast for Military Relationships. In today's episode, Attachment Theory 101, our host Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky delves into the fundamental concepts of attachment theory and its impact on relationships, especially in the context of military couples.
Elizabeth, a marriage counselor with a PhD in couples therapy, explores how attachment theory influences the development of personality, self-esteem, and coping mechanisms in both children and adults.
Drawing from her research, Dr. Polinsky emphasizes the importance of building secure attachment bonds in relationships and discusses the role of mutual caretaking, sexuality, and exploration within secure relationships. She also introduces the concept of anxious and avoidant attachment styles, shedding light on how they manifest in relationships.
Furthermore, she unveils a special freebie, The ARE Quiz, designed to help couples assess the security of their attachment bond. So, buckle up and get ready to explore the fascinating world of attachment theory with Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky.
>>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most. 
Access the ARE: Are You There for Me? Relationship Quiz to help you understand the quality and security of yoru relatiionship Read the show notes for this episode here.

Welcome to The Communicate & Connect Podcast! In this episode, we have a vital conversation on our agenda: Different Types of Abuse in a Relationship. We delve into this sensitive topic due to an unexpected rescheduling, but it's a discussion that cannot be overstated in its importance.

In our episode, we'll explore various forms of intimate partner violence, from the more apparent physical and emotional abuse, to the often-overlooked financial and digital dating abuse. We'll dissect the differences between situational partner violence and intimate terrorism and discuss why understanding these distinctions is crucial before considering measures like divorce.
Statistics reveal that intimate partner violence and emotional abuse are alarmingly common, and we'll talk about the stigma faced by male victims and the prevalence of bi-directional violence, with a specific look at its impact in military relationships.

We'll also scrutinize traditional therapy approaches and why they may have fallen short, leading us to the growing research that supports the use of couple therapy, especially emotionally focused therapy, for situational couple violence.

We acknowledge the societal pressures and the risks of escalation that come with experiencing violence in a relationship. Our goal is to offer a haven for listeners to learn, seek support, and understand the reality of abuse, and the importance of professional help, whether through resources like the National Domestic Violence Hotline, Military One Source, or our own ten-week Relationship Email Course.

Remember, this podcast is not a substitute for therapy, but a guide to educate and support. If any content in today’s episode triggers you, please reach out for help from a professional.
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Prepare to learn, grow, and connect as we navigate the complex and troubling waters of relationship abuse. Stay tuned as we dive deep into the different types of abuse, their manifestations, and steps toward healing and healthier relationships.
>>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most. 
You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here. 

Welcome back to another episode of The Communicate & Connect Podcast! I'm your host Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky, and today we have a very special episode in store for you. We will be diving deep into the highs and lows of military life as a couple with our guests, Shanon and Matthew Morris. Shanon is a Navy veteran, and Matthew is a former Marine, making them the perfect pair to shed light on this unique and often challenging experience.

In this episode, we'll discover how they met on a dating app called Bumble and embarked on a first date that lasted for hours, setting the stage for a truly meaningful connection. From there, we'll explore their whirlwind romance, with an engagement within seven months and a wedding within nine months. But as military life would have it, their journey was filled with various hurdles and hardships, including deployments, a motorcycle accident, and the tough process of going through the medical board and discharging from military service.

As we delve into their story, Matthew and Shanon will share how their military career took an unexpected turn, forcing them to navigate a period of transition together. Alongside this, they also faced other major life changes, like Shanon getting laid off and discovering they were expecting a baby. Throughout it all, they found strength in their motto, "fighting naked," which encompasses vulnerability, light-heartedness, and the ability to resolve conflicts.

Join us as we explore the lessons they've learned along the way, including their advice on effective communication and the importance of aligning core values. Plus, they recommend a fantastic book for couples to spark meaningful conversations about finance, spirituality, and more. So, grab your headphones and get ready for an insightful and uplifting episode on navigating military life as a couple with Shanon and Matthew Morris. Let's dive in! 
>>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most. 
You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.  Read the show notes for this episode here.