1 hr
Courageous Disagreement, with Mike Kelly, Author of Leaderfluence and former VP, Learning + Development at Macy’s d'Skills in Action
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- Management
Political hurling.
Speech vomit.
Lack of listening.
These are all things we’re so used to right now. Especially in these few months after election season.
Fights, exchange of words, and hurling abusive words at one another have sprung up from having different views from one another and the inability to reach a common ground.
The failure to see that we're different people with diverse backgrounds and, as such, would have different views on a topic.
I invited my good friend, Mike Kelly, on the show to unpack a better approach to courageous conversations and even disagreement, after he published his book, Leaderfluence: Secrets of Leadership Essential to Effectively Leading Yourself and Positively Influencing Others.
Mike shows that people are so hung up on their opinions and views that they often don't want to hear another person's point of view.
"A lot of this problem comes from human beings mentally positioning themselves against other human beings. They say ‘I won't listen to you because I have my own ideas. My mind is already made up, and this is how things should be.’" - Mike Kelly. In this episode, we discuss how humans can boldly speak about sensitive issues in a respectful and courageous way without being myopic about our views.
Mike on decision-making and challenging our base assumptions Mike advised us to slow down and take more time to think instead of reaching a potentially irrational decision.
"When a heated conversation topic arises, if we just took the time to slow down and think, the world would be a totally different place." - Mike Kelly.
He also gave ways to think and how to get time to think.
Mike on how to react to a view you disagree with, especially on social media. As a Native Analog, Mike said if someone left a comment on social media he disagreed with, he would prefer to give someone a call or take them out for coffee.
He doesn't believe in the back-and-forth exchange of words on social media, and he'd rather not say anything on social media and just prefer to speak to the person privately.
Mike believes in communication; the receiver is the most important part of it as well as their feedback.
Role Play of a “Courageous Disagreement” We went on to role-play an actual conversation: me as a “pro-choice woman” and Mike as a “pro-life black man” and how he could respond to me ranting about my disagreement about the cruelty to women concerning abortion.
Some realizations from this exercise?
The interesting thing I noted is how he took his time to respond by pausing.
He didn't immediately respond to my character’s rant/ vent. I believe he did this because he was trying to ensure that she was done talking, and he wanted to not speak out of anger or say the wrong things. He found common ground and showed empathy for her friends involved.
Mike on how to disagree but still have a productive conversation "When we hear each other, we're in a good place. A place from where we can start talking about 'what do we do about this" - Mike Kelly. Mike feels some of the best things that have happened or been put in place have yet to be done by people who agreed. He feels people should find a way to understand one another's opinions and learn to respect them.
It would interest you to know that Mike has...
Political hurling.
Speech vomit.
Lack of listening.
These are all things we’re so used to right now. Especially in these few months after election season.
Fights, exchange of words, and hurling abusive words at one another have sprung up from having different views from one another and the inability to reach a common ground.
The failure to see that we're different people with diverse backgrounds and, as such, would have different views on a topic.
I invited my good friend, Mike Kelly, on the show to unpack a better approach to courageous conversations and even disagreement, after he published his book, Leaderfluence: Secrets of Leadership Essential to Effectively Leading Yourself and Positively Influencing Others.
Mike shows that people are so hung up on their opinions and views that they often don't want to hear another person's point of view.
"A lot of this problem comes from human beings mentally positioning themselves against other human beings. They say ‘I won't listen to you because I have my own ideas. My mind is already made up, and this is how things should be.’" - Mike Kelly. In this episode, we discuss how humans can boldly speak about sensitive issues in a respectful and courageous way without being myopic about our views.
Mike on decision-making and challenging our base assumptions Mike advised us to slow down and take more time to think instead of reaching a potentially irrational decision.
"When a heated conversation topic arises, if we just took the time to slow down and think, the world would be a totally different place." - Mike Kelly.
He also gave ways to think and how to get time to think.
Mike on how to react to a view you disagree with, especially on social media. As a Native Analog, Mike said if someone left a comment on social media he disagreed with, he would prefer to give someone a call or take them out for coffee.
He doesn't believe in the back-and-forth exchange of words on social media, and he'd rather not say anything on social media and just prefer to speak to the person privately.
Mike believes in communication; the receiver is the most important part of it as well as their feedback.
Role Play of a “Courageous Disagreement” We went on to role-play an actual conversation: me as a “pro-choice woman” and Mike as a “pro-life black man” and how he could respond to me ranting about my disagreement about the cruelty to women concerning abortion.
Some realizations from this exercise?
The interesting thing I noted is how he took his time to respond by pausing.
He didn't immediately respond to my character’s rant/ vent. I believe he did this because he was trying to ensure that she was done talking, and he wanted to not speak out of anger or say the wrong things. He found common ground and showed empathy for her friends involved.
Mike on how to disagree but still have a productive conversation "When we hear each other, we're in a good place. A place from where we can start talking about 'what do we do about this" - Mike Kelly. Mike feels some of the best things that have happened or been put in place have yet to be done by people who agreed. He feels people should find a way to understand one another's opinions and learn to respect them.
It would interest you to know that Mike has...
1 hr