Crying Out Loud with Dr. Laura Berman

Dr. Laura Berman
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  • Mental Health
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Crying Out Loud is a grief companion for anyone carrying loss. Hosted by Dr. Laura Berman, bestselling author, therapist, and grieving mother, the show blends clinical guidance with spiritual insight to support healing on every level. Each week features conversations with experts, healers and mediums to help regulate your nervous system, honor your grief, and explore continued connection with loved ones on the other side. You were never meant to grieve alone. Let’s cry out loud together.

  1. 3d ago

    The Profound Lessons a Trauma Therapist Learned About Loss When Facing Her Own with Meghan Riordan Jarvis

    When you lose someone you love, every loss asks something different of you. One goodbye can leave you heartbroken but standing. The next can bring your whole world to a stop. Sometimes grief gives you months to prepare, convincing you that you'll know how to survive what's coming. Other times, it arrives without warning, turning an ordinary day into the day your life is divided into before and after. And sometimes, even if you're a therapist who's spent years helping others through loss, you discover that the very tools you've relied on for decades can suddenly feel helpless in the face of your own grief.  Meghan Riordan Jarvis knows that firsthand. She is a trauma therapist with more than 20 years of experience and the author of Can Anyone Tell Me? A book born from the questions grieving people ask every day but rarely receive honest answers to. Instead of treating grief as something to fix or get over, Meghan explores what it actually does to our bodies, our minds, and our relationships, offering the kind of validation so many people never receive. Her understanding of grief changed through two very different losses. In 2017, Meghan's father died after a year-long illness. She describes those final months as watching him grow smaller, weekend after weekend, until he was gone. It was heartbreaking, but it felt like the kind of grief she had spent her career helping others navigate. Two years later, everything changed. While they were on vacation together, Megan's mother died suddenly. The loss shattered every assumption she had about grief, including her own. A relentless voice began telling her it was her fault. What started as an intrusive thought became constant rumination, repeating so often that she recognized she was no longer coping. Eventually, she checked herself into the same inpatient treatment program where she had once referred her hardest clients, those whose grief and trauma required more intensive treatment.  In this episode of Crying Out Loud, Meghan and I talk about what happened when her professional knowledge could no longer protect her, and what she learned after experiencing grief from the inside instead of the therapist's chair. We explore why grief can disrupt memory, sleep, concentration, and appetite for much longer than most people expect, and why those reactions are part of how the brain responds to profound loss. In this episode, we discuss: What grief does to the brain and why memory, sleep, and concentration are often affected Why brain fog is a normal response to loss, not a sign that you're falling apart The role anger plays in protecting us from overwhelming sadness Simple practices that help calm a nervous system under stress The thoughts so many grieving people experience but are afraid to say out loud What Meghan discovered at the deepest point of her grief, and how it reshaped the way she lives and helps others If this conversation resonates with you, pick up a copy of Meghan's Can Anyone Tell Me? and visit her website or connect with her on Instagram for classes, guidance, and other grief resources. And if you're looking for more support, you'll find it in my book, Crying Out Loud: A Path Through Grief Into a Life Reimagined, and inside The Grief Healing Collective. I'd also love to hear your thoughts on this episode. You can reach me anytime at cryingoutloudpod@gmail.com.

  2. Aug 6

    Renegade Grief with Carla Fernandez

    Grief has a way of making everyone else uncomfortable. After the funeral, the messages slow down. A few days later, people expect life to carry on as if nothing happened. You're back at work. You stop bringing up the person who died because it feels like everyone else has already moved on. But you haven't. The truth is, life never goes back to what it was after losing someone you love. Carla Fernandez has spent years challenging that way of thinking. She is the author of Renegade Grief and co-founder of The Dinner Party, a community that has supported more than 20,000 young adults after the death of someone they love. Her work has helped reshape how a generation thinks about loss, replacing isolation with connection and making grief something people can share instead of hide. In this episode of Crying Out Loud, I sit down with Carla to talk about what she calls renegade grief: choosing to grieve honestly in a culture that would rather you keep your pain quiet. Together, we explore what happens when we stop trying to "move on" and start making room for grief instead. We talk about creating new rituals, building altars, taking grief pilgrimages, holding onto continuing bonds with the people we've lost, and why healing doesn't mean leaving someone behind. This conversation isn't about fixing grief or making it disappear. It's about permitting yourself to grieve in a way that feels true to you and remembering that you never have to carry it alone. How Western culture became wired to avoid grief, and why the myth of “closure” is so damaging The truth about Freud’s theories on grief, and how even he changed his mind after his own loss Why connection with other grievers can be the most powerful catalyst for healing. How rituals and creativity emerge naturally from our longing to honor and remember Simple, deeply personal ways to keep bonds alive: altars, “grief quests,” and everyday practices that create meaning The immense value of finding (or becoming) a “grief ally,” and why your support may change another’s entire experience The misunderstood line between helping others and bypassing your own pain, and how to find a healthy balance How metaphysical beliefs, neuroscience, and cultural rituals intersect in the ongoing relationship we have with those we grieve This one isn't about getting past your grief. It's about what happens the moment you stop trying to. Find Carla's book, Renegade Grief (recently out in paperback)  You don't have to carry this alone. My book, Crying Out Loud: A Path Through Grief Into a Life Reimagined, and The Grief Healing Collective are both here if you need them. And if something in this episode moved you, tell me at  cryingoutloudpod@gmail.com. Press play. You'll never set the table the same way again.

  3. Jul 30

    The Myth of Closure: Ambiguous with Dr. Pauline Boss

    Some losses come with a funeral. People bring food. They hug you. They say, "I'm so sorry for your loss." Some rituals help you begin to make sense of what has happened. But some losses don't look like loss at all. They're the kind that keep you awake at night, staring at your phone, wondering if it will ring. They're the kind where your child is still alive, but addiction has taken so much of who they used to be. Or where your husband or wife still sits across from you at the dinner table, but Alzheimer's has slowly stolen the person you spent your life building memories with. You find yourself missing someone who is still here. You keep hoping that tomorrow will be different. That they'll come back to you. That you'll hear their laugh again, see that familiar spark in their eyes, have one more conversation that feels like the old days. And because they're still alive, people don't always see your grief. There's no funeral. No obituary. No clear moment when everyone agrees your life has changed forever. You're left carrying heartbreak that has no ceremony, no roadmap, and often, no words. You're grieving someone who hasn't died, and at the same time, you're holding onto hope that maybe you haven't lost them completely. For more than fifty years, my guest in this episode has been giving that experience a name. Dr. Pauline Boss is a family therapist, researcher, and professor emerita at the University of Minnesota. She coined the term ambiguous loss, a concept that changed how we understand grief without an ending. It began with her research on the wives of soldiers missing in Vietnam, and it has since become the framework millions turn to for the losses that don't come with a clear before and after: a parent lost to dementia, a child in the grip of addiction, a family torn apart by estrangement, a loved one who simply goes missing. She's the author of several landmark books, including Ambiguous Loss, Loving Someone Who Has Dementia, and her most recent, The Myth of Closure: Ambiguous Loss in a Time of Pandemic and Change. Her most radical idea may be her simplest: closure is a myth. And chasing it may be keeping you from actually healing. In this Language of Love Conversation, I sit down with Dr. Boss to talk about what it means to grieve someone who is still, in some sense, unaccounted for. She walks me through the six pillars she's identified for building a life inside that uncertainty, why "both/and" thinking may be the most freeing shift a grieving person can make, and why the families who cope best are often the ones who stop trying to solve what cannot be solved. I also open up about the night my own son Sammy died, and the lesson my younger son taught me about what it really means to let your children see you grieve. This episode is for anyone carrying a loss the world doesn't have a category for, and anyone ready to stop waiting for an ending that isn't coming so they can start living again. What ambiguous loss is, and why it can be even harder to carry than a loss with clear finality Why “closure” is a myth, and how to let go of the pressure to find it. How rituals, continuing bonds, and community can transform the lonely experience of ambiguous loss. Why watching someone you love struggle with addiction is its own form of ambiguous loss, and why that recognition can bring real relief Why "both/and" thinking, holding two opposing truths at once, may be the most honest form of coping The six guideposts Dr. Boss has identified for building resilience without closure Why grief and depression are not the same thing, and why that distinction matters How to memorialize someone when there's no grave, no headstone, and no clear ending How to support children through ambiguous loss What decades of working with the most unimaginable losses have taught Dr. Boss about the human spirit To learn more about Dr. Pauline Boss and her work, visit her website, where you'll find her books, including The Myth of Closure and Ambiguous Loss, along with resources for families and professionals navigating loss without resolution. If you are moving through grief, heartbreak, or a season of profound change, you do not have to carry it alone. Make sure to read my book, Crying Out Loud: A Path Through Grief Into a Life Reimagined. Also, The Grief Healing Collective offers support, connection, and a community that understands what it means to rebuild a life after loss. If something in this conversation moved you, reach out at cryingoutloudpod@gmail.com. Healing does not happen in isolation. It happens in moments like this one.

  4. Jul 23

    The Relationship With Your Mother Doesn't End When She Dies with Hope Edelman

    Losing your mother changes you in ways you don't always recognize at first. It isn't only the moment she dies that hurts. It's all the moments that follow. The day you instinctively reach for your phone to call her. The holiday when her chair sits empty. The milestone you wish she could have witnessed. The ordinary Tuesday when you realize no one else remembers your childhood quite the way she did. For many people, the grief doesn't disappear. It evolves. It resurfaces at unexpected moments, asking us to grow into it again and again. For more than thirty years, Hope Edelman has helped millions of women understand that experience. After losing her own mother to breast cancer at seventeen, she searched for a roadmap that didn't exist. So she created one. Her groundbreaking book Motherless Daughters gave language to a grief that countless women had been carrying alone, becoming a New York Times bestseller and one of the most influential books ever written about the loss of a mother. But after decades of listening to thousands of grieving daughters, Hope's understanding of grief has changed. She no longer believes healing means moving on. Instead, she believes our relationships with the people we love continue long after they're gone, and that learning how to carry them with us may be one of the most important parts of healing. In this deeply moving conversation, Hope shares why the age you were when your mother died continues to shape your life, why siblings can experience the same loss in completely different ways, and why some part of us can remain the age we were when the person we loved died. She also shares the extraordinary story of a desperate moment on a New York City fire escape, when she reached out to her mother years after her death and received an answer she never expected. Whether you've lost your mother, another parent, or anyone whose love helped shape who you are, this conversation offers both validation and hope. It reminds us that grief isn't something we finish. It's a relationship we learn to live alongside. And sometimes, the people we love continue to guide us in ways we never imagined. In this episode, we discuss: Why grief doesn't follow a timeline and can resurface decades after a loss. How your age at the time someone died may still influence your life today. Why siblings often experience the same loss in profoundly different ways. The surprising reason part of us can remain emotionally connected to the age we were when our loved one died. Why healing doesn't require letting go of the person you love. The signs, synchronicities, and continuing bonds many grieving people experience after loss. How healing is possible even when the relationship with your mother was complicated, distant, or painful. To learn more about Hope Edelman, visit her website. On the homepage, you will find a free self-guided journal and video to support your grief journey. She also offers weekly support group calls, four-day retreats, and individual coaching. If you are moving through grief, heartbreak, or a season of profound change, you do not have to carry it alone.  Make sure to read Dr Berman’s book, Crying Out Loud: A Path Through Grief Into a Life Reimagined. Also, The Grief Healing Collective offers support, connection, and a community that understands what it means to rebuild a life after loss. If something in this conversation moved you, reach out at cryingoutloudpod@gmail.com. Healing does not happen in isolation. It happens in moments like this one.

  5. Jul 16

    The Beauty of What Remains: What Love Leaves Behind with Rabbi Steve Leder

    Grief has a way of splitting time. There is the life you lived before the loss, and then there is everything that follows. Somewhere in between, you find yourself asking questions that seem impossible to answer. How do I keep going? Will this pain ever soften? What am I supposed to do with all the love I still have for someone who is no longer here? My guest on this episode of Crying Out Loud is Rabbi Steve Leder, one of America's most respected rabbis and the bestselling author of The Beauty of What Remains. For decades, he has walked alongside thousands of individuals and families through death, illness, heartbreak, and unimaginable loss. Yet some of his deepest insights about grief didn't come from his years in the rabbinate. They came after the death of his own father, when he discovered that some of what he had believed and even taught about grief no longer felt true. In this deeply moving conversation, Rabbi Leder shares what his own loss taught him about love, faith, regret, anger, forgiveness, and the ways grief continues to reshape us long after everyone else believes we should have moved on. We talk about why healing isn't measured by how much less something hurts, why grief arrives in waves we cannot control, and why learning to float may be one of the most important lessons any of us will ever learn. What stayed with me most was Rabbi Leder's willingness to revisit beliefs he had held for years and admit where experience transformed his understanding. One small change in the way he now speaks to grieving families carries enormous wisdom, and I have thought about it ever since we recorded this conversation. If you've ever wondered whether life can hold both heartbreak and hope, or how love continues after loss changes form, I think this episode will stay with you long after it ends. In this conversation, we discuss: Why Rabbi Steve Leder says he misunderstood grief until his own father died. The surprising reason healing isn't about hurting less. What grief and ocean waves have in common, and how learning to float can change everything. Why is anger after loss often protecting a deeper emotion. The regrets people carry at the end of life, and what they can teach us now. How faith changes when tragedy shatters what you thought you believed. The one-sentence Rabbi Leder no longer says to grieving families, and what he says instead. Why accepting help can be one of the hardest parts of grief. What forgiveness really asks of us after profound loss. The hidden meaning behind "the valley of the shadow of death." How heartbreak can deepen our capacity for connection, compassion, and joy. To learn more about Rabbi Steve Leder, follow him on Instagram where he shares a weekly sixty-second reflection, and explore his book, The Beauty of What Remains. And if you're moving through grief, heartbreak, or a season of profound change, you don't have to carry it alone. The Grief Healing Collective offers support, connection, and a community that understands what it means to rebuild a life after loss. If this conversation moved you, reach out at cryingoutloudpod@gmail.com. Because healing doesn't happen in isolation, it happens in moments like this one.

  6. Jul 9

    From Tears to Triumph: A Conversation with Marianne Williamson

    What happens when grief doesn’t just take someone you love but the version of you that existed before the loss? Who are you then, and what do you do with questions you never needed before? Where is God in this? Is there meaning in suffering? Will you ever feel whole again? For more than four decades, Marianne Williamson has sat with people in that exact space, helping them navigate what those questions awaken. Marianne Williamson needs no introduction. But I'm going to give her one anyway, because she deserves it. She's a spiritual teacher, a political force, and the author of seventeen books, including four number-one New York Times bestsellers. Her book A Return to Love has been a lifeline for millions, including me. I read it when I was searching for something I couldn't name, and it cracked me open in all the right ways. So when I sat down with her for this episode, I knew we were going to go deep. What I didn't know was how deeply she would meet me and all of you right where we are. This conversation is about grief, faith, and the delicate, impossible, sacred work of transforming pain into purpose. Marianne shares her own nights, the mystical experiences that reshaped her relationship with God, and why she believes suffering gives us "X-ray vision" into the suffering of others. We talk about why we're so quick to bypass our pain, how men and women grieve differently, and what forgiveness really means when forgiveness feels like the last thing we want to offer. And then, at the end, she leads us in a guided meditation so beautiful and so tender that I'm still feeling it as I write this. If you've ever wondered how to feel your loved ones on the other side, or if you've ever doubted they're still with you, this is for you. This episode isn't about getting over grief. It's about letting grief transform us. It's about learning to hold devastation and grace in the same hand. And it's about discovering that even in our most shattered moments, we are never truly alone. In This Episode, We Explore: Why grief isn't something to "get over" and how trying to rush it may be keeping you stuck. The distinction Marianne makes between tragedy and deep sadness The unexpected gift hidden inside suffering, and why Marianne believes pain gives us "x-ray vision" into the hearts of others. What faith really looks like in the middle of heartbreak, when nothing makes sense and hope feels out of reach. The surprising ways grief affects your mind, body, and spirit, including what Marianne calls the "full tilt catastrophe" of the dark night of the soul. The unexpected truth most don’t know about forgiveness. How to carry unbearable grief and profound joy at the same time, without betraying either one. A guided meditation that may forever change the way you experience the presence of loved ones who have passed. To learn more about Marianne Williamson and her upcoming offerings, visit her website. You can also explore her book Tears to Triumph.  And if you're moving through grief, heartbreak, or a season of profound change, you don't have to carry it alone. The Grief Healing Collective offers support, connection, and a community that understands what it means to rebuild a life after loss. If this conversation moved you, reach out at cryingoutloudpod@gmail.com. Because healing doesn't happen in isolation,  it happens in moments like this one.

  7. Jul 2

    She Told the World to Marry Her Husband with Jason Rosenthal

    Millions of people read Amy Krouse Rosenthal's final Modern Love essay, You May Want to Marry My Husband. It was a breathtaking love letter, a farewell, and an extraordinary act of generosity. Written from hospice just days before her death, Amy introduced the world to the man she loved and gave him something few people ever receive: permission to love again someday. The essay touched millions. Then Amy died. And Jason was left to figure out how to build a life he never imagined. In this deeply moving conversation, Jason shares the part of the story the world never got to see. He mistook the panic attacks for a heart attack. The doctor's forms ask for an emergency contact. The checkboxes that ask whether you're married or single but have no place for "widower." The quiet, disorienting work of rebuilding a life after losing the person who knew you best. He also introduces us to the Amy behind the essay: endlessly creative, deeply joyful, and someone who found wonder in ordinary days. Jason reflects on watching her write that now-famous piece from across the room in hospice, never realizing he was witnessing the final gift she would leave him. This conversation is about far more than grief. It's about identity, resilience, and what happens when love continues after loss. Jason speaks candidly about dating again, introducing a new partner to his children, navigating the guilt and hope that can coexist after profound loss, and discovering that moving forward doesn't require leaving the person you love behind. Whether you're grieving a spouse, a child, a parent, a friend, or the future you thought you would have, this episode is a reminder that love doesn't end when someone dies. It changes form. And sometimes, if we're willing to let it, it becomes the very thing that helps us begin again. In this episode, we explore: The story behind Amy Krouse Rosenthal's unforgettable Modern Love essay and what happened after the world stopped watching. The physical toll of grief, including panic attacks, exhaustion, and the ways loss lives in the body. Why ordinary moments, paperwork, and everyday questions can become some of grief's deepest triggers. How new losses awaken old grief and why healing is anything but linear. Dating and falling in love after losing the love of your life, including the guilt, grace, and hope that come with opening your heart again. The difference between creating a life after loss and learning to live a meaningful life with loss. To learn more about Jason Rosenthal, visit his website or explore the Barr Harris Children and Family Grief and Loss Center and  memoir, My Wife Said You May Want to Marry Me And if you're moving through grief, heartbreak, or a season of profound change, you don't have to carry it alone. The Grief Healing Collective offers support, connection, and a community that understands what it means to rebuild a life after loss. If this conversation moved you, reach out at cryingoutloudpod@gmail.com. Because healing doesn't happen in isolation,  it happens in moments like this one.

  8. Jun 25

    When Grief and Menopause Collide with Zanne Hollingshead

    There are seasons in life when everything seems to shift at once. You lose someone you love. Your body begins changing in ways you don't fully understand. Your emotions feel bigger, your energy disappears, your patience thins, and the strategies that used to carry you through life suddenly stop working. Many women blame themselves. They wonder why they can't keep up. Why they feel anxious, overwhelmed, forgetful, exhausted, or unlike themselves. What they often don't realize is that they may be navigating two profound transitions simultaneously: grief and menopause. In this episode of Crying Out Loud, I sit down with Zanne Hollingshead, trauma-informed wellbeing advocate, certified life coach, and founder of Midlife Magic, for a conversation about an intersection that affects countless women yet is rarely discussed. For Zanne, this topic is deeply personal. After losing her mother at age ten and later losing her sister, who had become a second mother to her, she found herself searching for answers about grief, hormones, and the profound ways both shape our emotional and physical well-being. What began as a personal journey became a mission to help other women understand what is happening in their minds, bodies, and hearts during midlife. Together, we explore what happens when grief and hormonal change arrive at the same time. We talk about the sudden waves of rage, the exhaustion that rest doesn't seem to touch, the brain fog, anxiety, overwhelm, and the feeling that you've somehow lost access to the person you used to be. We also discuss why so many women have been left uninformed about perimenopause, how outdated medical messaging has contributed to unnecessary suffering, and what women can do to advocate for themselves and get the support they deserve. Most importantly, this conversation offers a different way of understanding what you're experiencing. Rather than viewing these symptoms as evidence that something is wrong with you, what if they are signals that your body is asking for care, attention, and a new way of living? This is a conversation about loss, hormones, identity, resilience, and self-compassion. It is a reminder that you are not failing. You may simply be carrying more than anyone can see. In This Episode, We Explore: • Why grief and menopause can intensify one another in surprising ways • The symptoms of perimenopause many women overlook or dismiss • How hormonal changes can affect mood, memory, sleep, and emotional regulation • The hidden burden of being "the strong one" • How grief impacts the nervous system and why that matters in midlife • Why so many women feel like they've lost themselves during this season of life • What women need to know about hormone therapy and other forms of support • How to stop fighting your body and start listening to what it may be trying to tell you To learn more about Zanne Hollingshead and her work, visit her website and/or her menopause community, Midlife Magic, where she offers education, resources, and community to women navigating midlife.  And if you're moving through grief, heartbreak, or a season of profound change, know that you don't have to do it alone. The Grief Healing Collective offers support, connection, and a community that understands the unique challenges of rebuilding life after loss. If this conversation resonated with you, we'd love to hear from you. Share your thoughts, questions, or story at cryingoutloudpod@gmail.com. Because healing happens in connection. And no one should have to carry life's hardest seasons alone.

    When Grief and Menopause Collide with Zanne Hollingshead
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Crying Out Loud is a grief companion for anyone carrying loss. Hosted by Dr. Laura Berman, bestselling author, therapist, and grieving mother, the show blends clinical guidance with spiritual insight to support healing on every level. Each week features conversations with experts, healers and mediums to help regulate your nervous system, honor your grief, and explore continued connection with loved ones on the other side. You were never meant to grieve alone. Let’s cry out loud together.

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