Fear of imperfection, and the negative feelings that come with it, get in the way of fulfilling your life’s big dreams. To propel your way forward, the power lies in embracing your flaws and just showing yourself as you are to the world.
Today, I’m chatting with Dara Tomasson. She’s a mother of five and an international quilt instructor, coach, and published author who loves teaching women how to free motion quilt. After losing 50 pounds without exercising or calorie counting, she’s helped other women have the same success and combined her experience with weight loss and quilting to serve as a weight and life coach for quilters.
In this packed episode, we’re discussing her 12-Step program that teaches women how to overcome their perfectionist tendencies. What was the genesis of her program? How does she describe perfectionism, and why does fear of imperfection keep you stuck in a place of resistance?
Dara answers all these questions and talks about how we’re wired to deal with negative emotions, the consequences we face in fighting against them, and tips to help us recover from resistance. As a bonus, you’ll hear her reveal the turning point that led to her weight loss and how getting caught up in food instead of living life plays a huge factor in people’s weight struggles.
What you’ll learn in this episode:
[07:17] - Dara’s introduction and being President of the “Perfection Recovery Program.”
[09:55] - The definition of perfectionism and how it keeps us stagnant.
[15:16] - Willingly showing up perfectly imperfect in an imperfect world.
[16:42] - Why we become resistant and sabotage ourselves.
[18:22] - The three things the lower brain wires us to seek out.
[21:19] - A realization that you never obtain emotional invulnerability as a creative.
[22:24] - How weight loss and quilting came together as a calling for Dara.
[25:09] - Why Dara’s belief in helping women is stronger than her fear of perfectionism.
[26:55] - The keys to losing weight in a genuine, self-loving way.
[29:19] - Characteristics of perfectionism that serve as warning triggers.
[30:57] - The dual role of food and how it can be an act of care for others.
[31:55] - A rallying cry for allowing ourselves to feel negative emotions and vulnerability.
[34:45] - Perfectionism as a survival strategy.
[37:34] - Advice for those feeling triggered to resist.
[39:23] - The difference between those who take a chance on their bigger dream and those who don’t.
[40:39] - The day Kara relaxed her grip on emotional vulnerability and perfection.
[43:05] - How Dara handles moments of self-doubt.
“When you’re a perfectionist, if you do something and it didn’t turn out the way that you thought, you actually take it personally.” - Dara Tomasson
On the other side of despair is joy. Without the negative, you can’t fully feel the positive. So the more you’re willing to let go of perfection, be vulnerable, and feel all the emotions, you’ll feel all the emotions.
How to Connect with Dara:
Dara Tomasson’s Love Yourself Thin 12-Week Program
Get the coaching you need to LOVE YOURSELF THIN! You’ll not only benefit from the coaching itself but also learn so much more by seeing other women be coached as well. This is your chance to have a built-in support system as you work through the program and learn from one another as well as from Dara.
To learn more click HERE to sign up.