All we really hope for as parents is that our children will grow up to be not only healthy, but also positive, optimistic people. How wonderful life can be for them if they see and imagine the bright side. We began our third season with some positive inspiration from life coach Scott Cruz, and talked to him about positivity and how to instill it in our kids.
We all want to raise a positive-thinking child, right?! According to Scott Cruz, a leading LA life coach, being ‘positive’ is subjective, and it’s only a matter of preference, how would you like to perceive your life? "When people focus too much on positivity they become very judgmental,” Cruz told us in the podcast, “so I would say if we focus on our own personal preferences we just end up being naturally positive."
"Negative thoughts will always be there, it's all about teaching [your kids AND yourself] how to use them. For example, self worth or self confidence, let's say if a child is not confident in what they're doing, and they really love, for example, creating art. They're not confident because they're comparing themselves to others. That's a negative thought, but you can use the comparison to build their artistic style or to be more inspired. So they can take the negative feeling about themselves to push them further... so the negative challenges can turn more into self-defining experiences. If people are trying to run away from it or numb it that prevents growth. "
Teaching Your Kids Optimism
While we argue that raising a positive child has a lot to do with an optimistic way of thinking, Scott thinks that optimism and pessimism can be instilled in a child by their parents, to a certain degree. So those who wonder if the fact that they come from a non-optimistic household will automatically make their kids pessimistic will be relieved to know that being pessimistic is not biological, it's belief structure. By working on yourself and facing your own challenges you can “correct” negativity that was passed from generation to generation in your family.
"If your kids are having their own point of view and their inner being is very optimistic,” Scott says, “they’re just going to resist you. I mean, the older they get, the more that they will try to go to [Alex] and less connect with you - because they don't like your pessimistic energy."
"If you work on that within yourself you let your children understand that being defeated is not even an option and experiencing failure is just a growth experience, not an end result. You want to tell your children, ‘It's not about what I do wrong or what I do well, it's about, are you allowing yourself to grow from the experiences?’"
According to Scott, instilling of positivity and negativity towards life happens at a very early age, "Between ages 1 and 7 the human brain is in fetus state, which means the child is purely observing,” he says. “So maybe [for a 6-month old baby] words don't mean anything but the words are reflections of your energy and your intentions. For example, there's a three-month-old in the crib, and you guys are constantly in distain of each other, the baby feels that energy, of disconnection. But if you're aware of figuring out through your nonsense, even if you're showing distinct toward each other but then you resolve it and they see you resolve -- they're going to pick up on resolution. It's not the argue that was the issue, is about the fact that you resolved that and then back to the same page, team work."
Co-Host: Braden Sanford
Braden is a blogger and a stay-at-home Dad raising 4 kids under 3… including triplets and identical girls (aka a valiant attempt to retain my sanity…).