Delicious Word Sandwich That's Not Canon Productions

Disgraced wastrel and former history Professor R.B. Ol' Matty discovers and begrudgingly introduces the first ever Delicious Word Sandwich frozen tape! Here, Ol' Matty had the absolute honour of discussing Shirley Jackson's "The Haunting of Hill House" and Jennifer Gordon's debut novel "Beautiful, Frightening and Silent" with none other than the author herself, Jennifer Gordon. Sharing their writing dreams, triumphs, trials and literary tattoo ideas, Ol' Matty and Jennifer Gordon delve into wonderful psychological journeys and grapple soul-curdling horror to masterfully conjure not one, but two Delicious Word Sandwiches of the most unique, experimental, delectable and appropriately terrifying nature. Dr Jekyll wishes he could do horror and madcap concoctions this good.
Jennifer Gordon's Beautiful, Frightening and Silent is available on Amazon and Kindle Unlimited.
EPISODE NOTES:
As we know, your ol' pal Ol' Matty is lost in time. According to some misprinted history textbooks, he has spent/is spending much time in Paris trying to defeat Jim Pawsby, the immortal demon bear that has declared itself the dark monarch of the city of lights. While he is doing that, the disgraced wastrel and former history Professor R.B. Ol'Matty reluctantly introduces a prized relic of Delicious Word Sandwich history: the frozen tapes. Why Ol' Matty recorded dynamite interviews onto tape, then put those tapes into the freezer, is anyone's guess. Then again, no one should be surprised.
The tape, however, is surprising. Ol' Matty blows nothing up, doesn't destroy any prized monuments or summon any kind of scourge of the world. Instead, what follows is a fun and in-depth chat with author Jennifer Gordon about her favourite works by Shirley Jackson, what sandwiches they would make, how to properly support and gently stalk your favourite author, and her own debut novel, "Beautiful, Frightening and Silent", the tale of an alcoholic man tortured by survivor's guilt who journeys to a haunted island for the chance to see the ghost of his four-year old son, only to find a crumbling old boarding house and himself becoming involved with a beautiful and manipulative ghost who has spent 60 years tormenting the now elderly man who was her lover, and ultimately her murderer.
Beautiful, Frightening, and Silent is a poetic fever dream of grief, love, and the terrifying ways that obsession can change who we are.
Love stories? Love hearing about the tales of old with Ol' Matty but want to know them yourself? Want to join the Book Club Sandwich but don't have the time or desire to sit down and read? Well, you dolt, check out Audible, where you can drive to your destination and faraway lands all at once. P.S. Audible, please sponsor me.
Until next time, my Quixotes!
Links:
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/51712363-beautiful-frightening-and-silent
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0854877HS/ref=x_gr_w_bb_sout?ie=UTF8&tag=x_gr_w_bb_sout-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B0854877HS&SubscriptionId=1MGPYB6YW3HWK55XCGG2
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Ol' Matty is kicking back after some well earned dishonourably discharged R&R when he realises that the demon bear terrorising Paris might be somewhat his fault. When a wise cricket tries to give him advice, Ol' Matty heeds by destroying the plane and landing in the Paris Opera, toppling a chandelier into an innocent and aiding a kidnapping in one less-than-heroic swing. Realising that Gaston Leroux's famous alleged Opera Ghost has turned the Opera into a deadly extension of their devious self, Ol' Matty follows the Phantom to his lair hoping to find the bear, in truth, under the pale mask, and, if not, at the very least bust some ghosts. Ol' Matty finds adventure, torture, taverns, and barrels of fun with a pinch of gunpowder. And, of course, he might just find a Delicious Word Sandwich.

Published in 1910 by Gaston Leroux, a renowned investigative journalist, travel writer and sensational crime solver, The Phantom of the Opera became a surprise smash, blending sweeping melodrama and comic-book tier iconography with hard-boiled pulp and gothic literature styles that like a Phantom would haunt popular culture for better or worse evermore. It is a methodical novel rich with characterisations and goofy hyperbole that is ultimately more obsessed with the criminally insane and obsession itself than in heroic Parisian romances, which in spite of modern adaptations is its greatest asset according to Ol’ Matty.
Flying in his very own WW2 Bombing plane, Ol’ Matty rids himself of a pestering cricket by firing his pistol from inside the cockpit. You killed Jiminy and yourself in one shot. Not a hole in one, but certainly a hole in done. As in, you’re done. You get it. Needless to say, Ol’ Matty abandons the plane to crash wherever it may and finds himself falling into the lap of Paris, which is now under the dictating control of our hero’s arch-nemesis: Jim Pawsby, the Nazi, human handed, M16 wielding, unicycling demon bear. He’s a lot.
Swinging into action, quite literally, at the gilded end of a swashbuckler’s rope (a goddamn chandelier), Ol’ Matty causes it to fall on a patron, killing them, and finds his bloody entrance has called a ripe distraction for the infamous Opera Ghost to steal away with a beloved opera singer, Christine Daaé.
Feeling inexplicably partially responsible (“PARTIALLY”!?), Ol’ Matty pays homage to the almighty Bill Murray and prepares to go Opera Ghostbusting, although it is very, very possible that this devilish death’s headed spectre is really Jim Pawsby in disguise. After all, the plot is absurd enough to be perpetuated by a demon bear. Teaming up with the fine wine drinking Gaston Leroux, who really likes his name “Gaston”, a dork named Raoul, a mysterious figure known only as the Persian, and NOT Jiminy Cricket because he bloody shot the little guy, Ol’ Matty ventures to the lair of the Phantom to find the truth, justice and a slice of the redemption he doesn’t even know he needs.
All the same, Ol' Matty has created a delightfully devilish and delicious word sandwich with all the anger, obsession and defiance of Leroux’s iconic antihero, deciphering the ramblings of the hard drinking, gambling and brawling Gaston to find just how this pulp mystery gumshoed through the centuries (bread), venturing on a katabasis into introspective and sometimes cruel story (meat), meeting a complicated, tormented yet brilliant vengeful sociopath (cheese), tearing away the mask to discover the deathly themes (sauce) and then whatever damn well pleases fits with those ingredients He ain’t a chef. I think it’s his way of making sure he adds salad. Well, this time he had no interest in making friends on this adventure, let alone best friends, so I suppose that’s growth, too. Don’t get stuck in catacombs again, Ol’ Matty. The last time had pacing issues.
Love stories? Love hearing about the tales of old with Ol' Matty but want to know them yourself? Want to join the Book Club Sandw

Just when Ol’ Matty thinks he’s got it made, escaping the island, making a new best friend, headed to a new island of wine and people, he start to suspect a strange truth when he is drafted into World War II. Ol’ Matty and his new-new best friend Yo-Yo navigate the perils of the war and, worse, Joseph Heller’s ultimate paradoxical tragedy Catch-22. Thrilling dogfights, tomatoes and potato peelers bloodily fly with Ol’ Matty through the bullet drenched sky as Ol’ Matty comes to learn Joseph Heller’s ultimate truth and confirms his initial suspicion: People are trash, and that may just make life worth living. Damn you, you beautiful Catch-22.

EPISODE NOTES:
A contradiction from beginning to end, when Catch-22 was published in 1961, to a harsh contemporaneous reception and no awards, and then became a best-selling classic, renowned as a masterpiece of the 20th century. Yet Joseph Heller, former WW2 Bombardier and one of the greatest satirists of literature, still found a way to be bitter. Now, everyone’s other favourite contradiction, so he tells me, Ol’ Matty tries to eat the legendary catch. It’s not a fish.

Ol’ Matty has escaped the tropical Tartarus that was his island, filled with malevolent tribes with lasers and laserdiscs, boars as paddlepop sticks and Jim Pawsby doing a wicked sick unicycle flip off the volcano into the unknown. Perhaps that’s the last we’ll see of him. Hopefully. How Ol’ Matty thinks that bear would make an interesting and enduring series nemesis is anybody’s guess, but I won’t bother. He is, as he tells me, a “Stupid genius”.

Ol’ Matty’s salvation came in the form of Major ____ de Coverley, recruiting our inept intrepid hero for his skill (?) of turning literature into sandwiches. What Ol’ Matty thought was a free ride to the vineyard island Pianosa was a cunning ruse (not that cunning) and he was immediately drafted as a bombardier, meeting his newest best friend Yo-Yo. Together, they read through The Match by Colson Whitehead, a hard-hitting short story rife with tragic contradictions, graduate bombardier academy and fly head first into the dog fights of World War 2. Ol’ Matty was having too much fun.

The dogfight in the skies, already a questionable expression, becomes all the more confusing with the addition of more assorted animals, enemies and mischief. I’m pretty sure I heard a nuke somewhere in the mix. He couldn’t just have a simple little World War, could he? No one questioned Ol’ Matty’s paws at the joystick, however, so small victories. But then the Colonel wanted them to finish their mission count and get the hell off his base, so Ol’ Matty made the great sacrifice for friendship and pulled some strings to keep them in the war. Friends will be friends. Yo-Yo was…displeased, and before long, so was the entire airbase. Help the war effort, Ol’ Matty, and leave. Please.

All the same, Ol’ Matty has created a scrumptious enigma of a delicious word sandwich, an edible contradiction, partly truth and partly fiction, with all the brutality, perseverance, wit and cynicism of Joseph Heller’s story, along with all the beauty, humanity, tenderness and poetry of that very same story. I’m surprised he didn’t put a coin in there, or, better yet, a nickel. Do so at your own risk, Quixotes.

Catch-22 is the satirical war novel by American author Joseph Heller about WW2 bombadier Captain John Yossarian, the perfect audience surrogate being a deeply flawed anti-hero. Most of the events in the book occur while the fictional 256th US Army Air Squadron is based on the island of Pianosa, an island not nearly big enough to hold an airbase. Catch-22’s non-chronological structure may at first seem random, but it is, in fact, highly structured based on free association. Okay, I’m calling it...
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Published in 1714 by Daniel Defoe, a notoriously controversial political pamphleteer, Robinson Crusoe marked the beginning of realistic fiction as a literary genre. Before the end of the year, the first volume had run through four editions. Now, that’s some 18th century bestselling! From Tom Hanks in Cast Away to Ridley Scott’s The Martian, Robinson Crusoe has had such an endless legacy that there is a word dedicated to its descendants to mark a genre: Robinsonade. It is a profound commentary on society, a tale of isolation and new beginnings, but Ol’ Matty dares to say that this is not a colonialist fairy tale, unwittingly locking horns with many critics including James Joyce. I think you can take him, bud.
After a brush with death in the form of vengeance crazed unicycling bears and angry tribes, Ol’ Matty finds himself safe in a fellow castaway’s hideout. As his friend makes the bread, hunts the meat and gathers the other ingredients, Ol’ Matty makes himself useful, somehow, by regaling the tale of Robinson Crusoe, the tale of a young Englishman who defies the will of his parents, rejects the comforts of civilisation to become an adventurer, and finds himself alone and desolate on a deserted island, struggling turn the wilderness into his own utopia, or even, perhaps, a communist commune. Depends how generous you’re feeling.

I’m noticing that every time Ol’ Matty tries to tell a ripper story, he just can’t find the right audience. Rob seemed downright bored by the telling of Robinson Crusoe, and leaves to investigate some riff raff armed with muskets, despite the M16 wielding grizzly hunting our hero outside. Ol’ Matty followed, armed with a club (sandwich), discovering that Rob had declared war against a group of invading pirates. There was no time to lose.
I mean, of course Ol’ Matty joined the pirates. Who was this Rob guy anyway? It’s not like Rob has the ability of Crusoe and can defeat castaways and pirates alike by mastering fate and the island itself! After all, if Rob and Crusoe were one and the same, that would completely throw our deep and gritty story’s canon. In the first battle for island supremacy of many, I’m sure (knowing Ol’ Matty), our hero and his bafflingly loyal band of buccaneers do battle against some Rob dude and even an older enemy. Look at us, we’ve got recurring characters and intrigue!

All the same, Ol' Matty has created a wonderfully tropical, topical and delicious word sandwich with all the perseverance and self-reflection of Defoe’s landmark novel, salvaging the shipwreak that is 18th century history (bread), swimming deeply into introspective story (meat), meeting nuanced and individualistic characters (cheese), foraging through thoughtful themes (sauce) and whatever he apparently feels fit the setting. I think it’s his way of making sure he adds salad. Well, he can’t seem to make friends even when he’s one of the few options, but he can make an effort.

Robinson Crusoe (1719) is a confessional novel by Daniel Defoe. I say confessional for Defoe was quite cheeky, as the story is written as the journal of the titular character and his castaway adventures. Indeed, the first edition credited the work's protagonist Robinson Crusoe as its author, leading many readers to believe he was a real person and the book a travelogue of true incidents. It was not a hard sell, as this is a contender for the first English novel of all time. And yet Ol’ Matty has the audacity to claim Defoe is as relatable as a university student! I told him not to drink the seawater.

Crusoe is the archetypal story of the castaway on a desert island, a wasteland turned to personal kingdom ripe with grapes and scrapes of all kinds, including pirates, cannibals, and the wrath of nature itself. I think there was some Grenache somewhere, too. That’s a kind of grape, right?...
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Freed from the catacombs, Ol' Matty is now pursued by a vengeful M16 packing bear and has somehow used his "charms" to befriend a secret kingdom of hunters. Surprisingly civil, Ol' Matty decides to repay them with a Delicious Word Sandwich, regaling the story of King Solomon's Mines by H. Rider Haggard, which can only go well because it's not too colonialist. Idiot.

EPISODE NOTES:
Published in 1886 on a five shilling wager that he could write a story as good as Robert Louis Stevenson's Treasure Island, H. Rider Haggard became the penultimate pioneer of what would become the lost world genre, which would go on to inspire The Man Who Would Be King, The Lost World and eventually even Indiana Jones. Now, we watch how Ol' Matty, who idolises Indy, dances around not associating himself with big game hunting. Dance, ya hunter, dance.

He tells the tale of King Solomon's Mines, the story of famed hunter Alan Quatermain and his friends travelling to the secret kingdom of Kukuanaland, fighting to return the rightful king to the throne and discovering the fabled diamond treasure. One of the original and archetypal old fashioned adventure stories that few could balk at, and yet Ol' Matty's new friends seem utterly outraged.

In a turn of events that was truly shocking, it seems this was a radical sect of the tribe from the story that were still loyal to the usurped king and his diabolical witch general, and thus it was that Ol' Matty had to make yet another hare brained, and bear pawed, escape.

Now, you may ask about the bear paws. He cut off the bears hands, the bear ate his other human hand, Matt sewed the paws on crudely and they have since been surgically integrated into his body proper thanks to the tribe's liquid diamond technology. He asked after the procedure, naturally, if new human hands were possible (they totally were). All the same, Ol' Matty has created a wonderfully delicious word sandwich with all the danger and mystery of Haggard's iconic lost world adventure, hunting through the jungles of history (bread), story (meat), characters (cheese), themes (sauce) and his final thoughts (seasoning). On the run from both the bear and the tribe, he may have forgotten to add salad. One step forward, two steps backward and into their awaiting spears? One can only hope.

King Solomon's Mines (1885) is a rollicking adventure by the English Victorian adventure writer and fabulist Sir H. Rider Haggard. It tells of a search of an unexplored region of Africa by a group of adventurers led by Allan Quatermain for the missing brother of one of the party, with startling imagery and visceral adventure around every corner. It is the first English adventure novel set in Africa, and is considered to be the genesis of the Lost World literary genre. Just keep the colonial/imperialist undertone in the back of the mind, taking the whole thing with a grain of salt. Note, add a little salt to sandwich.

Love stories? Love hearing about the tales of old with Ol' Matty but want to know them yourself? Want to join the Book Club Sandwich but don't have the time or desire to sit down and read? Well, you dolt, check out Audible, where you can drive to your destination and faraway lands all at once. P.S. Audible, please sponsor me.

For more short stories like the one featured here, All Will Be Well by Yiyun Li, see The New Yorker either online or subscribe to have the magazine delivered for those delectable morning reads. You sponsor me too, New Yorker. Look at me GO.

I have only ever read the book with my own eyeballs so I can't personally vouch for any version on Audible, however there is an Audible exclusive, which are always exceptionally produced...
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Published in 1926, Ernest Hemingway told the spicy, dramatic tale of a group of passionate and broken expatriates spending a wine-hazed week at the Pamplona Fiesta, where all their interpersonal dramas come to full boil. Things are heating up for Ol' Matty, too, as he finds seducing a volcano for a ride out of the Center of the Earth was more than he bargained for. I'm not even surprised anymore. Sure, seduce a volcano.
Turns out the writer of Ol' Matty's available is just as lazy as Verne, and the lethally dead-end plotline of wandering his subterranean prison are coming to an abrupt and epic end. After successfully turning the volcano on with a whole new segment, things got a little too saucy and lava-y for Ol' Matty as he is shot out of the volcano like a cannon, skyrocketing toward the surface. Quite a bit hungry, he uses this convenient burst of heat to make the spicy and boozy sandwich based on Ernest Hemingway's spicy and boozy novel, The Sun Also Rises. Say what you will about the Ol' fool, but he knows how to see the silver linings in things, and always when is the right time to drink - it may be his last, after all.

Finding himself back on the surface eventually, and more importantly back in his element with his idol Hemingway, Ol' Matty may be elevated but he is delving deeper and deeper into history and literary analysis all the same. I was about to be impressed to be honest, I mean, the guy seems to be able to summon an orchestra for dramatic readings, but then he was attacked by a bear and it got weird again.
Even though he now has paws for hands (Yes, both hands. Don't ask), once again Ol' Matty has created a wonderfully delicious word sandwich with a dangerously high alcoholic content, shimmying down the skinny of history (bread), story (meat), characters (cheese), themes (sauce) and his final thoughts (seasoning). But get this, he may have stitched bear paws on but he is healthier, he added both tomato and lettuce just for kicks!
The novel is a impassioned, and beautifully spun and exaggerated roman à clef: the characters are based on real people in Hemingway's circle, and the action is based on real events. Hemingway presents his notion that Gertrude Stein's "Lost Generation"— who she and many else considered to have been decadent, dissolute, and irretrievably damaged by World War I—was in fact resilient and strong. Hemingway investigates the themes of love and death, the revivifying power of nature, and the concept of masculinity.
Love stories? Love hearing about the tales of old with Ol' Matty but want to know them yourself? Want to join the Book Club Sandwich but don't have the time or desire to sit down and read? Well, you dolt, check out Audible, where you can drive to your destination and faraway lands all at once. P.S. Audible, please sponsor me.
For more short stories like the one featured here, see The New Yorker either online or subscribe to have the magazine delivered for those delectable morning reads. You sponsor me too, New Yorker. Look at me GO.
I have only ever read the book with my own eyeballs so I can't personally vouch for any version on Audible, however there is one read by William Hurt who I know is quite good and think we can trust, Quixotes.
If you really don't want to read or listen, I recommend the 1957 film. Hemingway himself didn't like it because it was shot in Mexico for budget reasons, but the script itself treats the original text as gospel, the story is streamlined excellently and the dialogue is more or less directly lifted from the book. While Errol Flynn was glorious casting, and Ava Garner turned in a fine performance as Brett Ashley, other than Flynn the cast is terribly miscast on account of age, all at least 20 years older than they should be. Nevertheless, you forgive Ava Garner and Errol Flynn due to their solid performances, and Tyrone Power and Mel Ferrer are eventually believable as Jake Barnes and Robert Cohn. I...
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