Hi, I'm Belah. Along with thousands around the world, you will go deep into the real issues, joys, and how-tos of physical intimacy. It's playful, peaceful, purposeful, and really intimately exciting!
Discover insights around godly intimacy on how men tick and how women feel! And you'll be amazed to hear the inspiring stories of transformations and advice from the expert guests as well! It's scriptural and practical.
If you're a man, you'll be drawn because you want to understand your wife, how to invite her in intimacy, and even your own God-given sexual desires. If you're a woman you'll understand how to enjoy your own pleasure and love your man through sex.
Free gifts for you! https://www.delightyourmarriage.com/free
If you're looking to see how to transform your marriage apply for a Clarity Call ($300 value) here: https://www.delightyourmarriage.com/cc
339-Irritable & Hurt to Flirty & Free. Emily's Transformation Story
I've been there.
Angry because he wouldn't change.
Hurt because he wasn't giving me what I needed.
And God was kind to me.
He helped me to see that there were places in my heart that needed to be utterly changed.
This journey to freedom in your marriage is one that should start with the heart.
If you're a wife, you may see yourself in Emily's story. I know I do.
If you're a husband, you can see more of how you can serve and love your wife, and also, have hope that God can do miracles in your marriage.
Looking forward to you being blessed by God's kindness through this testimony of Jesus' transformation.
PS - If you'd like to find out how your marriage can shift in the ways Emily speaks about, I invite you to join a free Clarity Call ($300 value) at delightyourmarriage.com/cc
We'd love to serve you and witness God do a miracle in your life as well. Schedule now: delightyourmarriage.com/cc
PPS - Last year, Belah was part of the special intimacy expert panel in the 2021 Sex Seminar (a huge success!). Well, she was honored to be invited back for the 2022 Sex Seminar, presenting alongside 22 other professionals in the field. Her topic is THE 8 BARRIERS WOMEN HAVE TO SEX.
Next week, we'll be sending you a discount code for the entire seminar (which is packed full of value and helpful insights from all sorts of important intimacy topics) and we hope it will be a blessing for your marriage!
338-"Pretty Much Done with Life" and Now True Intimacy. Ken's Transformation Story
"I was pretty much done with life...I wouldn't have minded if I passed away. If this is all life has to offer, what's the point?"
A father of 7.
Deep sadness of his inner life.
But then... God did an incredible, incredible, incredible thing.
This title doesn't by any means tell the whole story. But I want you to hear the incredible result that God did.
(My other suggested title was "Zero/yr to 5x/wk and She Didn't Know He Did the Program!")
However, the process is what God did in His heart and the fruits showed up in his marriage and intimacy.
And after 10 months of nothing, she started initiating (A LOT) and loving him the way he receives love (in response to his change.)
My favorite part of this story?
That there are seven children growing up in a happy home. A man who no longer hopes for the end, but one who looks forward to what God is doing through and in his life.
That is a good God story.
PS - If you'd like to have access to the program that Ken took, sign up for a free Clarity Call (a $300 value) to see if your situation would transform like his. We have a trained Clarity Advisor who will help you discern where you are and if DYM can help you.
Whether your marriage is good or desperate. We get to witness the transformation like Ken, but also that those who have good marriages go to great (!!)
Sign up at delightyourmarriage.com/cc
PS - A recent grad wrote:
"My marriage has completely changed.
I would have not guessed that all of this could have happened in such a short amount of time…
and I will forever be grateful for what God is doing in y’all and through y’all!"
Why couldn't this be you?
Sign up for a Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc
337-Three Ways to Dismantle the Marital Atomic Bomb During the Countdown
They're saying a lot of hurtful things.
They're saying it in a mean tone of voice.
Their face has the look of disgust, or worse.
You can feel your temperature rising.
You can feel your face getting red.
You can feel your rage welling up from the pit of your belly.
Is it righteous indignation?
Is it because they need godly correction -- and fast?
Is it that you're just plain tired of being unfairly beaten down?
In the midst of that moment of emotional alarm...
When the atomic bomb is counting down and it feels like everything has to happen right then, or else...
And your "wise brain" - the prefrontal cortex - has gone completely offline and your "childish/immature brain" is the only thing left and can't seem to see anything but red alarm bells everywhere...
Here are 3 tools to dismantle the bomb BEFORE the explosion detonates and destroys and/or damages all that you hold dear
...hurting the people you love the most - those you're assigned by God to protect, respect, love, and cherish.
But just like a professional bomb dismantler (it's probably called that, right?)...
You've got to be trained AND you've got to practice before the bomb is about to go off.
These are tools to practice.
These are tools that will make you more like Jesus if you practice them.
God has given us wonderful ways to respond to situations in the moment and here are 3 that I want you to have.
Looking forward to hearing how this impacts your life!
PS - We'd love to help you have the marriage you deeply desire and increase how God can use you more effectively if you do have it.
Emotionally, physically, and spiritually fulfilled in God's design.
Get on a call with one of our Clarity Advisors to let us hear your story and to have the insights to see how we can help you.
This is a $300 value -- our gift to you for free -- so God can move in you and your marriage.
It's a brave and important step to get your marriage healed: delightyourmarriage.com/cc
336-His Aggression Impulse (& Wrong Sex)
SO much packed in here, but I tried to narrow it down so you have a helpful summary. We go deep in this episode, I really think it'll help you.
Three points are made in this episode:
1 - Your feelings are God given and He wants to do something because of them.
2 - It is healthy and even Jesus-like to express your frustration emotions (without hurting anyone) and grieve through your sad emotions (tears are important).
3 - Regardless of your lot in life, it is your responsibility (not your family of origin, perhaps you didn't have a good role model, maybe you were exposed to porn, or your wife doesn't have wholehearted sex with you every other day...) to correctly follow God with your emotions.
A lot of men learned to deal with frustration through masturbation and/or pornography. It was a very tactical way to get frustration out of their body.
However, that stunted the opportunity to get frustration out in a healthy way, so that their brains could develop in the way God wanted it to -- with empathy, gentleness, and kindness.
So, they came into marriage assuming they'd be able to replace their "frustration valve" of pornography with their wife's body.
And surprise... they're still frustrated.
Because that's not Jesus' way.
They may struggle now with anger, aggression, bitterness, resentment, being judgmental...
Sex addiction, still...
Alcoholism, video game addiction, binge-watching nonsense...
Longing for your past sexual escapades...
Daydreaming about divorce so you could get a new partner...
Other similar things are unhealthy ways of expelling the frustration.
(Things that, if it was printed on the front page of a newspaper, you would be ashamed of.)
I want you to know -- I am proud of you for even reading this email -- and if you're in any of these loops -- I think God is proud of you for facing it! Bravo!
Listen, this is not just for men, but I hope this will help you process what's going on with you a bit more.
Feelings are good. They're God given. They tell us something. It may be that WE need to process, mature, slow-down, feel grief, etc. so we can feel empathy...
I want you to listen to this episode because I really think it could help you and help all of us pursue Jesus better.
Love & Blessings,
PS - If you want to dedicate a short season of your life to DO this practically. To live this out for the betterment of your marriage & intimacy but also in service to your kids and ministry -- I'd love to invite you to join a free Clarity Call.
On that call, a Clarity Advisor who is specifically trained in helping you draw out your emotions that may be pent up and looking like anger and self-righteousness instead of frustration and sadness.
People who chose not to move forward with our recommendation because of their current season of life or any other things have emailed afterwards to share how helpful it was for that empathetic and listening ear.
We'd love to help, schedule a call: delightyourmarriage.com/cc
335-Don't Undermine Her (Sexual) Progress
This is a great sadness to me.
When a wife steps out (even an inch) from her comfort zone and her husband mishandles this vulnerability.
Whether it's an inch sexually or in any part of their relationship...vulnerability should be appreciated and complimented and encouraged.
Your response to her discovery of more sexual freedom (big or small) should be, "Oh! How can I love HER more, too?" Not, "Oh, how can I perfect/change/improve her attempts?"
Because the second piece undermines her sexual freedom. That is what saddens me and makes me pray that God will help me do this thing better.
That's why it grieves me at times that my podcast can be heard by both men and women... because the enemy WANTS your focus to be on yourself.
The enemy wants you to be focused on whether or not you're getting your "fair share". Or on "how can she love me better".
But if we can be more like Christ and put the focus on the other "how can I love her better?"
How can her attempts to love me... inspire me to love HER!? That's the heart I believe God wants us to have around this topic.
This is a part of what our Masculinity Reclaimed program addresses.
Maybe you have lost all hope that intimacy could be different and you may think you're doing all the right things -- everything I teach you to do, right? But, if it's still not working, you haven't tried the program and that might be the step you're missing.
Listen to the testimonials please, because you'll hear some stellar men who were doing it "right" and just couldn't get there until they followed the program and got incredible breakthroughs.
Our whole team will give you 100%, we'd love to have you on the inside!
Schedule a free Clarity Call to get started in our online courses to begin healing your marriage at delightyourmarriage.com/cc!
Love, blessings, & prayers,
334-Rapid Fire Transformation Stories - Part 3
I never want to "get over" the miracles we see, daily.
But, you will be blown away by what God continues to do.
It can happen for you.
It can happen for your friend.
It can happen for your acquaintance.
Families do NOT need to be torn apart.
Husbands do not need to cry in their cars of loneliness due to lack of intimacy.
Kids do not need to grow up fearful and stressed because of the strife in the home.
Ministries don't need to be undermined by leadership infidelity (privately or publicly.)
God can change it all.
It's not automatic.
It is a system.
By God's grace, He uses "Masculinity Reclaimed: Be respected, enjoy fierce intimacy & love being married again" for amazing purposes.
For His glory. Listen in to understand that the work is heart work but the results are true healing, connection & intimacy.
Could it all be different in just 3 months? Maybe! For these gents -- it was! Join us: delightyourmarriage.com/minvite
PS - This cohort closes Monday, April 4, 2022
Join us: delightyourmarriage.com/minvite
If you are willing, you will be blessed
Thank you Belah for your words and wisdom and love for Jesus. My marriage is be healed from the inside out. Muuuaaahhh
Improving my marriage!
These podcasts are so inspiring and encouraging! Belah has a wealth of knowledge. I also purchased her book off of Amazon and I am amazed how well it’s written and how accurate it is. Within a week of finding her resources, I can already see a change in my heart which is quickly impacting my marriage. My husband and I thank you!
Amazing Christian Marriage Podcast!
I’ve been looking for a Christian marriage intimacy podcast and stumbled across a gold mine with Belah’s. I went back to the beginning of the episode list, which is a good 6 years ago now. I’m working my way up to current, but I’ve got a lot to go!
It’s great to have a space where Christian sex can be discussed openly. I feel that the church is lacking in this a bit bc it can be “uncomfortable” to talk about. However, it’s one of the most important topics regarding marriage and couples need to understand each other’s needs to really flourish and actualize God’s purpose for our lives.
God bless you Belah (and your hubby!) I’m looking forward to listening to so many more of your episodes!