The Divorced Muslim Dad Podcast �‪�‬ @moiazam

Having gone through an acrimonious divorce in 2013 Nav Mirza was faced with something he wasn’t prepared for; legally losing access to his beloved son. Concerned for his welfare after a series of incidents he raised the alarm with the authorities but wasn’t taken seriously. The experience drove him right to the edge on more than one occasion as he felt hopeless in the face of powerful institutions that perceived him as just another disgruntled trouble making father. Eventually after many years of fighting the system and on the point of mental colapse he was completely vindicated and was given sole custody of his beloved son. An astonishing turn of events.

But this story isn’t just about ones mans fight for justice; you see Nav was now a full time single father, unable to find work and totally socially isolated. Once again he was facing challenges he simply wasn’t equipped to deal with. In his desperation to be heard he posted his story online and then something amazing happened; many many other fathers around the UK started to get in touch to share their own experiences of dealing with a system that seemed to be stacked against them.

So Nav decided to do what most of us wouldn’t: to found a charity that aims to help fathers maintain healthy relationships with their children. So in 2017 ‘Dads Unlimited’ was born and has gone from strength to strength to help hundreds of people since.

In this episode you’ll hear about Nav Mirza’s incredible personal story in detail, what Dads Unlimited’s mission is (and how it differs from Fathers 4 Justice) and exactly what you can do to get involved.

A classic episode! Enjoy :)

==========================

If you’d like to contact Dads Unlimited:

Helpline 01233 680150 (UK number)
Or self register here: https://support.dadsunltd.org.uk/portal/en-gb/newticket

If you have any feedback for this podcast or would like to be considered as a guest pls contact Imran Azam: DivorcedMuslimDad@gmail.com or DM @moiazam on Insta.

You’ve the heard terrible stories about people going through divorce right? You know the ones about two otherwise sane individuals completely losing their minds as they wrestle with the aftermath of a failed relationship. Every story is desperately sad and made even worse when you hear children are being dragged in to the squabbling and family members fanning the flames.

But does it have to be this way? I think we can all agree that if divorce or a break up is inevitable then its everyone’s interest that its done amicably; especially where children are involved. But that’s clearly easier said than done. With emotions heightened its almost impossible for otherwise rational people to think clearly and act fairly.

That’s where Salma Khan comes in; a highly qualified ‘Divorce Coach’ based in London helping people navigate the tricky emotional, spiritual, physical and financial terrain of a failing or failed relationship. Is she a lawyer? No. Is she a therapist? Not quite.

In this episode Salma and I discuss:

- What a Divorce Coach is and what they are not
- How to pick a Divorce Coach
- Why a Divorce Coach is not your friend
- How to overcome a broken heart
- Why women take on the burden of a break up
- Undoing unhelpful learned behaviour
- Taking care of yourself being a priority
- How to maintain boundaries
- What is going on with men in relationships
- Plus much more…

This was a truly great conversation with someone doing great work in the community to help people live better lives!

If you’d like to get in touch with Salma please email: salmakhancoaching@gmail.com

If you’d like to contact me with feedback or ideas please email: divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com

Salams and Ramadan mubarak! The conversation you’re about to listen to is with Naushad Qayyum; a highly qualified experienced teacher and international educator turned advocate and campaigner for men’s mental health amongst south asain men.

Naushads story is incredible to listen to and covers many themes related to faith and relationships. You see Naushad’s world was turned upside one fateful day in 2018 when his father unexpectedly passed away. Losing a parent is difficult to reconcile at the best of times but for Naushad it was almost impossible to fathom; you see it happened on his wedding day. This personal tragedy set off a chain of events that led him to some very dark places. But as you’ll hear ultimately his story is one of hope and resilience. About turning pain into purpose.

I think it a appropriate to offer a trigger warning on the episode as we speak intimately about death, anxiety, depression, PTSD, cultural exploitation, isolation, loneliness and suicide. So if you’re not in a great place right now you might want to listen to this another time.

As always please send any constructive feedback to divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com or DM me on twitter/insta @moiazam.

Preparing for Ramadan 2023 with Dr Omar Sulaiman: https://overcast.fm/+J18FkOPew

It’s clear now that our experiences in childhood shape our beliefs that in turn determine the decisions we make about how we live our lives. But what if you don’t like the script you’ve been given? Is it possible to change it and lead a more intentional life and one that’s aligned with the person you want to be?

Well to find out the answers to these questions and more I’ve been speaking with Will Daniel-Braham; a therapist, coach and trainer in the field of personal and organisational development. Will has a private therapy practice in London and an international coaching practice.

In this episode Will and I discuss:
- the impact of Adverse Childhood Experiences on our lives
- how the ‘script’ of our lives is written before the age of 7
- how to go about changing the script
- inter-generational trauma and how it manifests
- how to pick a therapist
- whether or not we all have reflective capacity

It’s a great conversation with lots of helpful information from a professional in the field so please do consider sharing it with friends/family.

As always please do contact me here is you have any comments or suggestions:
Email: divorcedmulsimdad@gmail.com
Twitter/Insta: @moiazam

In this episode Alyas Karmani (activist, therapist, counsellor, imam) and I have a meandering conversation about subject of Resilience. Essentially our ability to bounce back from adversity. As usual our discussion take us to unexpected places and we revisit historical events such as apartheid in South Africa, the civil war in Sierra Leone as well as the Crusades, the Battle of Uhud and the Conquest of Mecca.

You might not get all of the answers you are looking for here but thats not the point; you definitely walk away with better understanding of what resilience is, why we need it, how it impacts on our relationships and how Allah helps us to develop it.

Some of the questions we explore include:
Why are some people and nations more resilient than others?
What is an abundance mindset and how can it help develop resilience?
What can we learn about resilience from a street vendor in Uganda or a Kurdish refugee in the UK?
What can we learn about resilience from Rocky 3?
What is needed to foster an environment of building resilience?

Why wasn’t I able to act on the advice Alyas offered me during my marriage?
Why is Muslim marital breakdown often so acrimonious?
What does Islam say about dealing with adversity?
And what could this say about our community’s potential capacity for resilience?

Is it sometimes necessary to go through difficulties to see the truth?
Is it Allahs way of helping us become our best selves?
Is adversity in fact an opportunity?

How responsible are we for overcoming adversity?
Is it fair to make individuals completely responsible for their lives?

If you want to better understand how to handle life’s challenges from a psychological and emotional perspective then this ones for you.

Please get in touch with any comments/feedback/suggestions or if you simply have a story you’d like to share:

E: divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com
Tw/In: @moiazam

All messages are handled with care :)

Following on from publishing the ‘Addiction:Just Say No’ episode I set off to take a break on an organic dairy farm in Amsterdam. Whilst sat in the idyllic dutch countryside I was finishing off Dr Gabor Mate’s book ‘In the realm of hungry ghosts: close encounters with addiction’ when I came across a section that forced me to recognise my own addictive behavioural traits and how they negatively impact the relationships in my life.

In this short bonus episode I read an extract from the book describing Dr Gabor’s own addictive tendencies, how they manifest, the destructive impact they’ve had on his relationships and crucially how to find peace.

If you’re interested in developing better relationships then this ones for you. (First listen to the episode before though :)

Please get in touch with any comments/feedback/suggestions or if you simply have a story you’d like to share:

E: divorcedmuslimdad@gmail.com
Tw/In: @moiazam

All messages are handled with care :)