The podcast from the Divorced Playbook, a guide for living your life as a single parent. Hosted by Scott and Dan Levy. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been divorced eight years — like Scott — one year — like Dan — or one week, there is something everyone can connect with here. The Levy brothers share everything about their lives, and talk through important issues facing parents today. From co-parenting to online dating, this show runs the gamut, in hopes of finding (and sharing) ways to spend less time stressing out and more time with our kids.
Ep 49: F.O.D.A. - Fear Of Dating Again
A listener shared with us one of their biggest fears. Dating. And, specifically, the Fear of Dating Again, after an extended amount of time being alone, sequestered, quarantined or otherwise out of the dating scene.
F.O.D.A., in this case meaning Fear Of Dating Again, is a real thing, and the Levy Bros. do their best to tackle this difficult subject.
How get over F.O.D.A.?
• Put the weight of carrying the conversation on the other person. Ask questions about them if you think you don’t have anything to talk about. You’d be surprised at how engaged you will become once you relax and get involved in the conversation more naturally.
• Be open about your fear and anxiety. No better way to break the ice than to be honest about your nerves, because the other person is probably just as nervous.
• Focus on the people who ARE interested in you, not those who validate your fears of rejection.
Also, Scott talks about how much he likes working moms, Dan talks about how he's become a safe first date back for women with F.O.D.A. and this hilarious exchange takes place.
"I would just like to say that I think moms are sexy."
"You get enough action. You don’t need to be using the show to be getting matches."
"I’m not interested in trying to get matches. I’m just saying that I know what it’s like to be a mom and do everything that you do. That, in and of itself--"
"Wait, wait, wait. You can’t say that."
"You just mansplained motherhood!"
Ep 48: The Power of Positivity
This episode is solely focused on being positive, which includes learning how to not just accentuate the positive, but to find it.
We discuss some methods for being — and staying — positive.
"Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one."
Ask your kids, "What is the best moment of your day?" Even if all you can think of is a juicy apple, try to find something positive about every day, and share that with those you love.
The Butterfly Effect - How you act impacts others. Your kid gets in a fight with your ex, then picks a fight with you. You're angry, and now have to run a meeting, where you snap at employees, putting more people in a bad mood. That demeanor will expand exponentially. But it works with positivity too.
How to be more positive:
• Mindfulness & Meditation. Reframe your thought process for 5 or 10 minutes on something else. Put all your focus into hearing specific sounds — waves crashing, birds chirping, each individual instrument in a song you love. Focusing on one thing allows you to let the other stuff go, even just for a minute. And if you can do it for one minute, you can do it for five. Do it for five, you can do it for 30. If you can do it for 30, maybe you can do it for the entire day.
• Find the positive things in your environment and focus on those. Finding the positivity in even what you would consider a terrible situation is challenging but rewarding.
• Use of Affirmations. Don't be hard on yourself for not doing something in the past. Be proud of the fact you have decided to do something about it now. And when using positive affirmations, it's important to speak in the PRESENT TENSE.
"There is no future, in a way. It’s all just a series of moments. If you live in every moment, and every moment you are present, then you don’t have to worry about what’s going to happen down the line. You worry about what’s happening now. Reframe when you’re feeling bad about yourself, or bad about the world. This is the moment that matters."
• Focus on yourself: "If you try to compare yourself to others you will always fail, because you can always find someone who seemingly has it better than you or is seemingly doing more than you. "
• Remember, you are the only one who has to live with you 24/7.
EP 47: GUESS WHO'S BACK
Scott is back. We get a full recap of his disastrous two months recovering from back surgery, how Covid has played a part, and maintaining a balance of physical and mental health.
"There you are, sitting there with your own thoughts, and that’s a scary place to be when you’re not yourself and you’re not feeling right and the world is different."
We go in deep on the mental toll of isolation as well as the difference between being depressed and having depression. And, in this time, is it really that different?
This is a pretty raw show. It's good to be back.
EP 46: I Got Banned By Tinder
In this episode...
• Dan gets BANNED BY TINDER
• An update on Scott
• SERIOUSLY, BANNED! BY TINDER!
• A "Date Race" challenge is made
• Is Dan getting catfished? Again!? (And how to spot a catfisher.)
• BANNED! AND REFUNDED!
• Some very important online dating Don'ts
• Normal is a four-letter word
• The 5 Categories of Swiping
• How a limerick about cheese can get you a date
Ep 45: What We Owe To Each Other
An episode in which we ask the question that was a central theme of The Good Place: What do we owe to each other?
Ep 44: D-I-V-O-R-C-E (Seriously, WTF Tammy?)
Dan just procured nearly 200 of his parents' old records, and in piles and piles of hidden gems, one album stood out: Tammy Wynette's "Kids Say The Darndest Things," a compilation of the First Lady of Country's biggest hits about divorce, co-parenting and the traumatizing stigmas that come with a family splitting up that, two generations and half a century later, we're just starting to destroy.
This album is terrifying. So we break it down.
(This is 30 minutes you won't get back. Sorry and you're welcome.)
I’ve been a divorced dad for 4 years and wish I had this to listen to when I was newly divorced since none of my friends are divorced then, or now. This is still relatable and helpful. The brother dynamic really helps the show.