263 episodes

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife is a sex and relationship expert who has been interviewed for hundreds of podcasts. You can access all the amazing content covering issues of faith, sexuality, integrity, belonging, and more right here on the interview archive! Dr. Finlayson-Fife is an LDS relationship and sexuality coach as well as a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor in the state of Illinois. Dr. Finlayson-Fife also has a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology. The advice offered through any and all podcasts in which she is featured is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.

Conversations with Dr. Jennifer Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

    • Education
    • 4.7 • 911 Ratings

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife is a sex and relationship expert who has been interviewed for hundreds of podcasts. You can access all the amazing content covering issues of faith, sexuality, integrity, belonging, and more right here on the interview archive! Dr. Finlayson-Fife is an LDS relationship and sexuality coach as well as a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor in the state of Illinois. Dr. Finlayson-Fife also has a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology. The advice offered through any and all podcasts in which she is featured is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.

    Underinvested: The Disappointing Dividends of a Role-Based Marriage || Room for Two Preview

    Underinvested: The Disappointing Dividends of a Role-Based Marriage || Room for Two Preview

    **Get Your FREE Ticket to the Raising a Happy, Healthy Teen Digital Summit HERE**




    TJ and Ashley’s story is a familiar one for many. 


    Their marriage started out happily enough. They were young college students and enjoyed each other a lot during their first few years together. But things changed when TJ started graduate school during an economic downturn. TJ felt a tremendous amount of anxiety about his financial future, given the dim prospects for most students at the time. Competition was fierce and in TJ’s determination to ensure his family’s economic stability, he dedicated himself to his studies, leaving little time or emotional bandwidth for anything else, including Ashley.




    This period of limited connection was difficult for Ashley, and it persisted long after graduate school and into TJ’s high-demand career. While disappointed at first, eventually Ashley shifted her focus away from the marriage and created a comfortable, happy, and fulfilling life as a friend and mother. 





    To the outsider, TJ and Ashley’s relationship may look idyllic–TJ excelling professionally, Ashley busily involved with friends and her community, both invested and caring parents– but their marriage is much more brittle than meets the eye. Resentment and hostility have been simmering under the surface for more than a decade with TJ feeling unappreciated and unacknowledged for the sacrifices he has made to provide for his family and Ashley feeling neglected and unnoticed (except when TJ is wanting sexual attention).




    In this episode of Room for Two, Dr. Finlayson-Fife helps the couple think through the long term trajectory of their marriage and how they are undermining their current and future happiness by functioning in such a non-collaborative way. She helps Ashley see the rejection that permeates her interactions with TJ and teaches that the path forward is to stop walling and avoiding and to start looking honestly at herself, her real desires for the relationship, and her role in the lack of intimacy in the marriage.

    Be sure to subscribe to Room for Two TODAY to listen to the full episode! 

    • 42 min
    Learning to Love, Respect, and Accept Yourself

    Learning to Love, Respect, and Accept Yourself

    **JOIN US IN AUSTIN for the Art of Desire Workshop!**
    The process of developing our psychological muscles isn’t all that different from the process of developing our physical muscles.


    Both are difficult.

    Both involve discomfort.

    Both require time, persistence, and patience.

    And both are easiest when we have a motivation that propels us through the discomfort.





    Fear, self-hatred, and compliance with external expectations are poor motivators. Living according to our higher selves and striving to embody what we value are much stronger motivators! 


    Our ability to grow, develop, and live in line with our higher selves hinges upon our willingness to look truthfully at ourselves and our circumstances, and make choices from a deeper internal authority.





    In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Amber Brueseke of Biceps After Babies Radio to discuss the important role that self-honesty and self-definition play in our relationship to our bodies as well as in our emotional, spiritual, and relational development. 

    • 52 min
    Navigating Desire Differences in Marriage

    Navigating Desire Differences in Marriage

    **JOIN US for the Art of Desire Workshop in Austin, TX! Click HERE for more information!**

    In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife takes questions from her audience about desire dynamics and the unique challenges faced by both the higher-desire spouse and the lower-desire spouse. In the discussion Dr. Finlayson-Fife discusses how couples can work together to create a more collaborative dynamic and what to do if only one spouse is interested in addressing the desire discrepancy.

    Listen to the full episode to learn more about:

    * Difficult Conversations
    * Dealing with Disappointment
    * Accommodation vs Choosing
    * Power Struggles in Marriage

    * The Pursuer / Distancer dynamic
    * Addressing conflict with honesty and compassion

    If you would like to learn more about this topic, consider enrolling in Dr. Finlayson-Fife's Enhancing Sexual Intimacy course!

    • 59 min
    Understanding Sexual Inhibitions

    Understanding Sexual Inhibitions

    It has been said that our brains are our most important sexual organs and, it's true--the meanings that are playing out in our minds either consciously or under the surface have a big impact on our sexual experiences.

    Meanings that expand our sense of self and make us feel alive (like freedom and choice) increase our desire, while meanings that constrict us (like obligation and shame) shut down our desire and kill any chance of us having a passionate, fulfilling experience.

    Recently, I joined Tammy Hill of the Live Your Why Podcast to discuss the meanings that keep many of us from fully experiencing the joy of our sexuality and what we can do to shift these common, but problematic meaning frames and create something better.

    Listen to the full episode to learn more about:

    * Reconciling spirituality and sexuality
    * The importance of freedom and choice
    * Problematic meaning frames
    * The art of surrender / receiving

    For a deeper dive on working through problematic meanings around sexuality, consider enrolling in Dr. Finlayson-Fife's Enhancing Sexual Intimacy course!

    • 42 min
    Loss and Its Impact on Desire

    Loss and Its Impact on Desire

    Choosing to love with your whole heart means accepting the risk of disappointment, loss, and grief. 

    These difficult realities come in many forms throughout a lifetime—unmet expectations, unfulfilled hopes and dreams, shifts in belief, broken promises, illness, and ultimately, death. 

    Facing acute loss is a harrowing and sobering experience, in part because it wakes us up to just how little control we have over our circumstances. But being compassionate towards ourselves in the process and finding the courage to keep moving forward, even when the path is riddled with uncertainty and vulnerability, is a beautiful form of faith. When we take the disappointment and loss that life hands us and use our difficult experiences to become kinder, more compassionate people, we increase our ability to deeply cherish the good around us, and we increase our capacity for joy. 

    This NEW episode is the audio from a Q&A session that Dr. Finlayson-Fife hosted on the topic of loss and grief. During the conversation, Dr. Finlayson-Fife took questions about all different types of losses including miscarriage, death, broken promises, and frustrated expectations.

    Listen to the full episode to learn more about:

    * Intimacy after loss

    * Mixed-faith marriages 

    * Intimacy after miscarriage 

    * Finding the courage to reinvest in life after loss

    You can watch the full recording of this Q&A session HERE.

    You can learn more about Dr. Finlayson-Fife's new mini-courses HERE.  

    • 51 min
    Masculinity and Sexual Shame

    Masculinity and Sexual Shame

    We have a cultural stereotype about masculinity that can often make us blind to the challenges and self-doubt that many men grapple with in regards to their sexuality.




    While men and women may express their anxieties about sexuality differently, the truth is that men have just as difficult of a time coming to peace with their sexuality as women do. 


    In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Tammy Hill of the Live Your Why Podcast for a discussion on masculinity and how our cultural messaging has impacted men’s ability to accept themselves as sexual beings. 





    Listen to the full episode to learn more about:




    * Sexual shame

    * Performance anxiety 

    * Desire discrepancies 

    * Masturbation and Pornography

    * Erectile dysfunction

    * Being tolerated vs. being received sexually

    * Creating more intimate relationships




    If you found this episode helpful and want to learn more, consider enrolling in Dr. Finlayson-Fife's Art of Loving course for men! 

    • 39 min

Customer Reviews

4.7 out of 5
911 Ratings

911 Ratings

Wolfgate1962 ,

Brilliant!!

Refreshingly mature and useful relationship advice - a professional who has built her work off of professionals who came before her. So this is not someone’s intuition or feelings, yet it is so easy to listen to and understand. A perfect blend of delivery, relatability, and academic support.

Lindsey765 ,

Brilliant and grounded

So grateful for the wisdom, love and hope shared here in a real and grounded way.

electricpagoda ,

Podcasts and interviews of great value

I’ve never listened to an interview or podcast with Jennifer that I haven’t come away with knowledge and encouragement that helps improve me and my relationships. I often listen to her interviews multiple times to take it all in.

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