Embrace Your Center is hosted by Julie Blackburn, an Illinois Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, Nationally Certified Counselor and Registered Art Therapist. Julie Blackburn owns her own private practice, Chartreuse Center, that provides specialized counseling for fertility issues, perinatal support and grief. Embrace Your Center offers insight and thoughtful considerations if you are now faced with living a new reality. Embrace Your Center focuses on the everyday facets of living with fertility issues, perinatal concerns or grief. Visit www.julieblackburnlcpc.com for episode notes and other blog postings to help you renew your life.
EYC007 Positivity Through Your Struggle
Positivity is possible when living after a life altering event. Learn how to "Take in the Good" while healing and struggling with fertility, family building and grief.
EYC006 Circle of Support
How is your support system working out for you? When it really comes down to it, are the people in your life showing up how you thought they would? Learn how to reconnect to them in this podcast episode about your Circle of Support. Get the show notes and download handout at www.julieblackburnlcpc.com/podcast/eyc006-circle-of-support
Be Carefree, Find Fun
Be carefree, find fun… What a concept! This can seem out of reach when we are in the midst of a tough time in our life. This is not unreasonable. It’s actually imperative that you take some time to blow off some steam and reconnect with you!
We all find fun in something different. How do you define it? If you can’t answer that question, you have disconnected and are very distracted from joy, my friend. The good news is that can change in any moment… little by little… as you are ready to observe and participate in things you enjoy again.
You may have been distracted by changes, by appointments, by learning about what’s new in your life. This will not last forever… it is important to focus on the present, on the here and now. I encourage you to learn about new aspects of your life and attend to the changes and appointments. I also encourage you to pay attention to those little sparks of interest that will come and go. Accept their invitation and have a little fun. It’ll do you good.
Darkness into the Light Series
The Darkness into Light Series of Positive Intentions focuses on the journey from sorrow and pain to acceptance and growth. I’ll be honest, this was a tough series to create. I’ve offered parts of my personal journey that are more private than I usually share on such a public platform. My experience with exploring my fertility started in 2007. Even after all this time, I feel that pull in my heart as I recall my growth.
Within my website, articles, podcasts, videos and emails, I indicate there is healing after the pain. No matter how distant in the past, my fertility experience is part of me. My fertility has a large impact on my life and my path to building a family. My personal fertility may not be in the forefront of my concerns anymore. However, it’s a part of my history and a part of my family story and the scars from the experience literally and figuratively remain even though the pain is only a ping or sting at times instead of all consuming.
There are four Positive Intention videos to create the Darkness into Light Series. These intentions run about 5 minutes each to give you more thoughtfulness and more description of the healing process. I’m a little vulnerable putting these story out there and I’m finding a sense of courage in that. vulnerability. I hope you gain a glimmer of hope through my sharing.
Visit www.ChartreuseCenter.com to learn more about how to begin to open your eyes and see the world with wonder and curiosity during your struggle.
Receive on-going updates of Embrace Your Center insights from Chartreuse Center that you can use right away.
Life in Metaphor
Understanding your personal metaphors that you choose to describe your life can give you great insight to how you are coping, your view of the world, and how you are feeling in this moment, today.
Life as Metaphor handout
EYC005 Reconnecting Love Relationships
Welcome to Embrace Your Center where we focus on topics surrounding fertility, perinatal and grief issues. Today we are talking about reconnecting with our love relationships through the family building journey.
Articles of possible interest:
2014 infertility and divorce article http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/aogs.12317/abstract;jsessionid=0A7F271DBE6613F0D1D048C24BDE2E94.f01t01
2010 marriage and divorce statistics after pregnancy loss https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2883880/
2004 couples relationships change with the addition of a child https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/14681990410001715391?src=recsys&journalCode=csmt20
* The heart – emotional responses
* As a couple, you may periods of highs of hope and excitement as well as lows of despair, disappointment, and grief.
* Incongruency within the relationship with differences of feelings, communication styles or thinking one needs to be strong for the other.
* Neither one of you can “fix” the problem.
* The struggle and adjustment is at the root of each of your responses.
Helpful tip: Improve communication.
* Recognize your role during family building IS NOT to “fix” your partner’s hurt.
* Your role IS TO LISTEN and then let your partner know they are seen and heard.
* Steps: Identify role of listener – just listen or help find a solution. Share thoughts. Listener repeats some of the key points that were shared to confirm understanding.
It seems like simple communication. However, we generally don’t do this in everyday discussions. In all honesty, I’m assuming that you have some basic communication within your relationship. If this piece is a considerable issue, a marriage therapist is a great support tool to help you through. Otherwise, Give it a try and see how it works for you.
* many appointments, tests, ultrasounds, explore nutrition and wellness possibilities.
* may not be feeling sexy
* less appointments and daily interaction with the process.
* may have almost no interaction.
* may feel isolated or pushed to the side
Helpful tip: Maintaining intimacy is the responsibility of both partners.
* Find time to quietly be, even without touch, can be so intimate.
* Share parts of your day.
* If you need a hug, ask for one.
* Find ways to close the space between you.
* Snuggle, find those tender moments, and hold hands.
Intimacy is a staple in your relationship. Your intimacy is too important and will continue to need attention as your family grows.
* Different perspectives of who holds the struggle and who is supporting
* The partner with the concern
* may feel guilt, shame, fear, worry and disconnected with their own body
* may fears the relationship will end
* The partner who is supporting
* may not know how to best support
* may lose patience in their supporting role
* they are concerned and confused by the isolation of their loved one rather than considering leaving the relationship
Helpful tip: Rekindling the “spark” you once had can help the confidence within the relationship. Create a list of things you fell in love with about your partner and things you have enjoyed in your relationship. Find ways to let your partner know you value these characteristics about them...