Ending Friendships: The Other Kind of Breakup

I have walked countless people through romantic breakups over the years, and almost universally, I’m told that the most painful part of the breakup is losing their best friend. 

Which is why I wanted to dedicate an entire episode of We Need To Talk to the heartbreak we endure when we break up with a friend. 

The loss of a friendship can be gut-wrenching.

And it’s made worse by the absence of a socially sanctioned ritual around that loss.

We know how to support a friend who’s had a romantic breakup - but we don’t have a ritual for supporting loved ones who’ve lost a platonic loved one. Which sends us the message that the loss of the relationship shouldn’t devastate us, because after all, it was just a friendship. But then, where do we go with our grief? 

In this episode, we cover: 

• Why friendship breakups are so uniquely difficult. 
• How to decide if a friendship is salvageable. 
• How to navigate the situation when you and your ex-friend share other friends.

And I share my own story about ending a friendship several years ago. Questions? Comments? Email us at Darcy@AskDrDarcy.com

Xxoo Darcy

REFERENCES

“It's just like a break-up”: A qualitative analysis of turning points in female friendships in early to middle adulthood

EF Doherty - Communication Quarterly, 2021 - Taylor & Francis

Relationship dissolution in the friendships of emerging adults: How, when, and why? TH Khullar, MH Kirmayer, Miriam H. Kirmayer, and Melanie A. Dirks .Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 2021 - Volume 38 Issue 11 

'We're just not friends anymore': self-knowledge and friendship endings Mary Healy - Ethics and Education, 2015 - Volume 10, - Issue 2.

CREDITS

This episode of “We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” was produced by Darcy Sterling. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani, Stephanie Sterling and Preston Smith. “We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. 

 DISCLAIMER

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