The Christian Working Woman Mary Lowman

I am examining leadership principles from the life of Nehemiah. Now, maybe you’re thinking you’re not a leader, but all of us are, in some way or another. And these principles are relevant to everyone.



Yesterday we saw a leader knows how to handle bad news. In the second chapter of Nehemiah, we find he was open and vulnerable. You see, he worked for King Artaxerxes, and nobody was allowed to look sad or unhappy in the king’s presence. In fact, the death penalty was the punishment for sad-looking servants. But with a heavy heart about his people and the condition of Jerusalem, Nehemiah looked sad in the king’s presence.



Nehemiah did not hide his grief and sadness. He wasn’t trying to make others feel bad, but he wasn’t putting on a “happy face,” as we say.



Psychologists say 80 percent of our emotional strength frequently goes into wearing a mask, pretending to be someone we are not. Think about it—when you ask someone how they are doing, how often do people say anything except “fine.” Now, I’m not suggesting we start dumping our problems on anyone who asks, “How are you?”  But I do believe far too often we put on a mask and pretend to be who we are not, when we need to be openly honest.



There is great relief in developing this characteristic of not being afraid to reveal who we really are. You can be much more relaxed when you accept yourself the way you are, acknowledging your weaknesses and also recognizing your strengths. It is a sign of spiritual and emotional maturity to be honest about yourself.



I remember going to Uganda and Kenya to minister to women in Christian leadership, and the women were kind enough to write notes of appreciation for my teaching. I noticed many of them said things like, “Thank you for opening up to us,” and “Thank you for speaking from personal experience.” Being real and open can be used mightily by God to build bridges to other people and open up possibilities for ministry that would otherwise be closed.



Remember, God has called us to be authentic and not to wear a mask. As the Apostle Paul wrote, By the grace of God I am who I am, and there is no reason to cover up who we are in Christ.

I am examining some important leadership principles from the book of Nehemiah. You may wonder what an Old Testament saint could teach us about leadership today, but you’ll discover these truths are timeless. Nehemiah was both an outstanding spiritual leader and a very good business manager, and we can learn a great deal from him.



One of the first principles we learn from Nehemiah is he knew how to handle bad news. We read in chapter one of Nehemiah that his brother brought him the bad news that Jerusalem’s wall was broken down, its gates had been burned, and those who survived were in great trouble. Well, that would be enough to discourage anyone. But Nehemiah does not fall apart, even at this bad news.



Life is full of bad news. It could be a small disappointment to a catastrophic occurrence, but when bad news comes your way, how do you respond? A strong leader is not only able to take the bad news but wants to know it. Sticking your head in the sand is a sure sign of immaturity and lack of trust in God.



If you are a manager on your job, a leader in your church, or have an influential position of any kind, you need to make certain people around you don’t hide the bad news from you. Of course, they’ll be more likely to tell you bad news if they are confident your reaction will be reasonable and controlled. You can’t let bad news rattle you. You will lose the confidence of those who look up to you, and it will make matters worse.



David had to face many bad news situations. In one case, he returned with his 600 soldiers to Ziklag and found the enemy had robbed them of everything and set fire to the city. His men were so upset they wanted to kill David. But David did not panic. The Bible says simply: David found strength in the Lord his God (1 Sam. 30:6b). Then he asks the Lord what to do, and under God’s direction, he pursued the enemy and recovered all that was lost.



Interestingly, both David and Nehemiah mourned and wept at their bad news, but they didn’t stay there. They prayed for guidance and obeyed the Lord.



Do you fall into depression when things do not go well? We can learn a very valuable lesson from Nehemiah on how to handle bad news.

Did you ever think about what kind of impression you make on people? We create these impressions through our communications with others. Basically, we communicate in three ways: verbally, the words we speak; vocally, the tone of our voice; and non-verbally, our body language, facial expressions, etc. Frequently we don't even realize that what we're doing is causing poor or negative impressions.



As Christians working in a world that needs to know Christ, we should make the best impression we can. We are, after all, ambassadors for Jesus Christ; we represent him to our world. Since we are perceived by others by the way we communicate with them—including our verbal, vocal and non-verbal communications—don't you think we should be intentional about improving in all those areas, so that we put “our best foot forward,” so to speak?



Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 8:21: For we are taking pains to do what is right, not only in the eyes of the Lord but also in the eyes of men. Taking pains to do what is right—that's a good way to put it, because it really does take effort and concentration to do what is right sometimes. So, let’s talk about these three areas of communications and perhaps give you some ideas about how you can improve—take a few extra pains to do what is right—so that you are making the best impression you can.



Verbal Skills



Verbal communication is our choice of words. You've probably heard the jingle that says, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Well, don't believe it. Words can and do hurt very much. Many times, people react not to the message we have given them, but rather to the way we gave the message.



Think of how often someone has given you some work to do, but she didn't ask in a nice way; no please or thank you. She just demanded you do it and showed no consideration for what you were doing already. If you think about it, you probably reacted very poorly not because you didn't want to do the work, but simply because she didn't ask in a nice or considerate way.



The Bible tells us that: Sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness (Proverbs 16:21 ESV). If we choose our words carefully, not only will it be good for the other person, but we'll discover that we are more persuasive and effective in reaching people.



Watch out for phrases like It's not my fault. It's not my job. That's not a good idea. You can't do that. You'll have to wait until tomorrow. That's so stupid. That's a dumb idea. Remember that you don't like to be told what to do; you don't like to be talked down to in a condescending way; you don't like to be scolded or humiliated or made fun of. So, be careful not to use words that sound demanding, condescending or humiliating to others.



In a meeting one woman was expressing a concern for her parents, and without thinking, another person told her what to do, in a very direct, dictatorial way. I know this person meant very well; she was really trying to help. But the way she communicated, both in her choice of words and the dictatorial tone of her voice, just brought a cold blanket over the whole meeting.



Try your best to avoid sounding like a dictator. Put your instructions in the form of a question; it works beautifully. Instead of "You'll have to call back later," say instead, "Could I ask you to call back later?” Slight change of words but what a difference it makes. Remember, no one likes to be told what to do, so ask instead.



Be especially careful about your choice of words when you have to give someone bad news. Undoubtedly there are times on your job and otherwise when you are required to tell people something they really don't want to hear. When you have bad news, at least soften the blow. Proverbs 16:24 says: Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. If you'll soften the blow,

Presented by Lisa Bishop



I am examining 5 habits of an extraordinary leader, and today we’re wrapping up with: be reliable.



Before we dive into our final leadership habit, I want to acknowledge you’ve most likely heard about these skills and habits. While these competencies may sound like common sense, ask yourself, “Do I make these skills my common practice?” There is a big difference between knowing about something and actually doing it and living it out. As you gauge your leadership, measure it by the degree these habits are regular and consistent. Consistency is key. Being consistent in positive actions and behaviors will help you create trust with those you lead. Others will see you as reliable.



When you are reliable you keep your commitments. You do what you say you are going to do. You follow-through. One of the quickest ways for you to lose trust and undermine your leadership is by not keeping your word.



Sounds simple, doesn’t it? Yet, how many times have you said you would do something and dropped the ball or neglected to carry out what you committed to?



In Matthew 5:37, Jesus says, all you need to say is simply yes or no. Now the context of this verse has to do with oath-keeping and is part of the sermon on the mount when Jesus is addressing the subject of telling the truth. He tells the crowd not to break their oaths. An oath was a promise to do or not do something, invoking God as a witness and the one to bring judgment if the promise was broken. Back in the day, it was common for people to make oaths to emphasize their seriousness and truthfulness. While you are most likely not invoking God as your witness when you make commitments at work, this biblical truth applies to your witness as a follower of Jesus. Are you impeccable with your word? Do you have a reputation as someone who says something and does it? Or do you say you will get back to someone, but you never do or fail to complete a task that you agreed to. The reality is there are no small things when it comes to keeping your word.



Our reliability is questioned when what we might consider the insignificant things are in fact significant to others. To be an extraordinary leader, have integrity and be faithful to your word so others know they can rely on you.

Presented by Lisa Bishop



Do you express genuine appreciation for others? I am examining 5 habits of an extraordinary leader. And today is the fourth habit: show appreciation.



Gary Chapman’s book The Five Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace shares a statistic that 65% of North Americans reported they had not received recognition or appreciation at their workplace in the past year. And while 51% of managers believe they do a good job of recognizing employees for work well done, only 17% of employees believe their manager actually does a good job of recognizing them[1]. Clearly, something is off!



Data shows 79% of employees will quit their jobs due to a lack of appreciation (Zippia.com), while employees who feel valued are motivated to do their best work[2].



How regularly do you show appreciation in the workplace? It’s been said encouragement is oxygen to the soul.



Just as every person has inherent value, every human being has a desire (whether they will admit it or not) to feel valued and appreciated; it’s one of the deepest and most basic human needs. While it’s been proven there is a bottom-line benefit to organizations for fostering a gratitude culture in the workplace, the buck doesn’t stop there. As a leader, and especially as a follower of Jesus, you are entrusted with tapping into the potential of the people in your care, helping them unleash their gifts and talents. This is a different mentality than, “Just do your job.” You have a high calling for cultivating a work environment that is built on an attitude of trust and to inspire and not to embrace the old “command and control” mindset.



How can you genuinely show appreciation? Don’t just show gratitude for what people do, show appreciation for who they are. Be specific, rather than general, saying “Hey, good job on that project,” doesn’t point out what you specifically valued. Instead, it might sound something like this. “Hey Jim, I just wanted to say I really appreciated your attention to detail on the presentation last week. You do your work with excellence, and you bring a lot of heart and passion to the team.”



When showing appreciation, go beyond pointing out a person’s performance to acknowledging their intrinsic value too.



Dr. Paul White says, “Even the hardest heart will soften and respond to a freely given ‘cup of water’ of appreciation—reviving their spirit and creating new growth.”



How will you make showing genuine appreciation a leadership habit in your life? Who is someone in your workplace you will encourage this week?



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[1] Chapman, G. D., White, P. E., & White, P. (2012). The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace: Empowering Organizations by Encouraging People. Northfield Publishing.

[2] Kizer, K. (2023, June 29). 35+ powerful leadership statistics [2023]: Things all aspiring leaders should know. Zippia. https://www.zippia.com/advice/leadership-statistics/

Presented by Lisa Bishop



I am examining 5 habits of an extraordinary leader. And today we’ll talk about the third habit: be an empathic listener.



How do we practice empathic listening? When you listen empathically, it means you are listening intently and deeply to another person with the resolve to understand them and not with the goal to respond.



Think of the last conversation you had at work or home with your spouse or teenage kid. Were you focused on listening to them in a way they felt heard or was your mind racing with a response, your lips poised to give advice or blurt out your point of view? If we’re honest a lot of our communication is spent trying to get our thoughts across and have others listen to us. We can be so committed to our way of thinking we make assumptions about what another person means before they finish communicating. Empathic listening flips the script.



Proverbs 20:5 instructs,

The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out.

When you listen to understand, you not only increase the chance of the person feeling heard, but there is a very high probability—especially in conversations where emotions run high—you will draw out the real issue. The next time someone comes to you with a problem, frustration, worry, concern, or complaint, resist the urge to judge, fix, or give advice. Instead, employ empathic listening. Let them know you hear them by paraphrasing their words and reflecting back the emotion you are sensing them express. For example, imagine your coworker comes into your office in a panic and says, “I’m completely overwhelmed and frustrated with this job. I just don’t think I can do it anymore.”



Now your instinct may be to start commiserating or giving your opinion or advice, and while there may be a proper time and place for that, first try responding in a way your coworker feels like you are listening and hearing what they said. You might say something like, “It sounds like you feel discouraged at work.” Or, “I hear you’re frustrated.” And then just stop and let the person respond. Don’t be afraid of silence. When you listen this way, it creates a space for the person to keep talking and for you to gain greater understanding. If you are not used to listening in this way it can feel awkward at first but try it in the workplace or at home. See what happens when you press pause on fixing and advising and listen with the intent to truly understand.