EP26: Why Fear and Desperation Will Block Your Baby

Fear and desperation doesn’t just make you feel terrible—they can actually form a very real block to what you desire. In this episode, you will learn a 4-word principle, that when fully embraced, can shake you out of fearful desperation on this journey for good.

Transcript:
Hey gorgeous, if you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, Fertility Mindset Master. Former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist.

I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43, despite years of fertility treatment failure. I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey, just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine badassery, and loads of hell yes for your fertility journey.

It’s time to get fearless, baby. Fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile podcast, episode 26. Why fear and desperation will block your baby. Hey gorgeous one, it is so good to be with you this week. I have an idea that I want to share, which, when it was introduced to me, was revolutionary.

And I’m sure you’ve heard claims like that before, but if you actually play with the idea that I am going to share with you and truly take it to heart, It will be revolutionary. In fact, it might be so revolutionary that your mind is blown for a few minutes. You may even reject it at first, which is fine.

But when you really get this into your bones, it’s freedom, baby. You will also see why it is a much more intelligent and productive approach that will help set you up for success on this journey. It is simply this. The prize never chases. The prize never chases. When one of my mentors said that to me, it rocked my world.

When it comes to this journey, I invite you to consider that you Are the prize. You, my darling, are the prize. You don’t have to chase shit. Most of us get caught up in the notion that our baby is the prize, the goal, the quote unquote thing. When you really break that down, it’s kind of fucked up. It’s making another human being an object, which is gross.

It’s repulsive. Would you ever want someone to think of you as an object? An object that once they have will make all of their problems go away? Yikes! Think back to your dating days. Do you remember having someone chase you with such desperation and fear that you caught yourself saying, EWWWWW? They didn’t come at you as someone who truly had something to offer, someone who could be a real partner to you.

They didn’t come across with confidence and peace. It didn’t matter how nice they were, instinctively you picked up that they were weak and needy and ran in the opposite direction. You might have even pitied them for a minute. But you knew in your soul they were not the one for you. You might have even observed red flags like attempts to make you feel bad or manipulate you.

Any way you size it up, it would have been a mistake. Now, contrast that with someone who is confident, someone who knows they have something to offer. Notice how confident, happy, high vibe people are the most attractive, even if they are not attractive in a classic sense, which in reality is boring nonsense anyway.

But you get what I’m saying. Think about how irresistible people who are confident are. You hear people say, there was just something about them. You’re damn right there is something about them that make you feel safe and welcome. It’s delicious. If you stop and think about the energy you put out when you are chasing, you will see how it projects a sense of, Fix me.

Make this lack and scarcity feeling go away. Make me whole. Make me complete. Yuck. It’s gross. It’s cheap. This applies even in your friendships. I bet you’ve seen that. We all have people that come into our lives that are needy, creepy ones. The ones who try to pressure you into hanging out with them or guilt you into submission.

It’s not a relationship of loving equals. It’s emotional deception and blackmail. From a spiritual and energetic standpoint, Do you really want to come at your baby like that? Do you really want to put that kind of intense, creepy pressure on this precious little soul? Wouldn’t you rather receive your baby from a place of confidence, strength, and wholeness?

Wouldn’t you want that baby to know you could protect and care for them, not crush them under the weight of your pain and desperation? How much more inviting is it to project a loving invitation to your baby like, Hey sweetheart, we just want you to know we are so ready for you. Our home, it’s always open.

We are ready when you are. We are so excited to love you. We are so committed to giving you a great life. We have so much to share. We will go to the ends of the earth for you, and when you are ready, we will be there. In the meantime, we’re just going to get things ready. We can’t wait to meet you. Think about that!

Think about having that kind of conversation. Doesn’t that feel incredibly different? The prize never chases. Now, you might be thinking, fuck you, Roseanne, and all of your woo woo ness, but I want you to see how fear and desperation won’t just block and repel your baby from an energetic standpoint, but it will fuck you up from a logical, linear, and strategic standpoint.

Chasing puts you at risk of being sloppy. Think about the last time you physically chased something. Maybe it’s been a long time, but go with me on this. Think about the last time you physically chased something. You had to narrow your focus on that one thing, foregoing your wider field of vision. When you’re chasing, the primary thought is, what happens if I don’t catch up?

Or get this, it’s desperate and gotta have it. It’s a very different focus than saying, What are all of the ways I could achieve this? Which is a hell of a lot more emotionally mature and strategic. Fear makes you, by its very nature, myopic. If you look closely, you can probably look at the shitty decisions you’ve made in your life and see fear’s fingerprints all over them.

We’ve all done it, right? You’ve been afraid, so you don’t trust your gut. You, out of fear of being the odd woman out, you just go along with the crowd. And maybe you’ve been afraid to invest in yourself, so you end up saying no to things you actually want to say a massive hell yes to. We all do it, and then we all feel gross afterward.

When fear is running the show, you’re also more prone to settle. Instead of keeping your eyes open for the right opportunity, settling sucks, and you’ll do it, you’re more likely to do it when you’re afraid. Okay, so, let me give you an example. And I know this example is going to reveal me to be a complete and utter maniac, but who cares?

It popped into my head, and I’m going with it. Maybe it’s my nostalgia over 80s slasher movies with my best friends, who knows? But, think about Michael Myers from Halloween, or Jason from Friday the 13th. You ever notice how those motherfuckers are never chasing anyone? They walk slow as fuck and always get what they want.

The lovely babysitter who was just making out with her boyfriend on the couch is running through the woods like a fool. She is so afraid and desperate, she always falls down multiple times, can’t find the keys to her car, or drops her keys, giving time for these slashers to catch up and ends up dead.

When there were a thousand other possibilities. She was so focused on just getting out, she never had the presence of mind to think about her best, smartest option. How the fuck can you possibly cover your bases when you are running at full speed? How many opportunities will you miss? By fixating on the notion that there’s only one route, how many easier, more effective, and strategically intelligent options are you missing?

When you are in fear and desperation, you’ll cling to anything. Vision becomes narrow and frantic. You’ll make short sighted decisions that suck. When you are fearful and desperate, you are also more likely to just give up to end the pain rather than digging your heels in, turning around, and kicking Michael Myers’s ass.

Think about it. When you really look at what Michael Myers and Jason represent, They form a killer, I know, lame pun intended, metaphor for our fear on this journey. When you really look at those two schleps, honestly, they are easy to beat if you have your wits about you. They are slow, plodding, and not particularly agile.

And their sight is shit because they’re wearing masks! When you scratch past the surface, they are paper tigers, old and worn out. How old are those mofos anyway after having 13 installments of their movies? What are they, like, 80? The only real advantage they have is they aren’t chasing! They know they will get what they want, and they aren’t in a particular hurry.

Like so many things in life, it is a question of who shows up the most confident. Not cocky, just confident. Who is willing to go the distance? Who is willing to do the work? Who is willing to say, hell yes, when everyone else would have packed up and gone home? Who is willing to be the babysitter character who tufts it out and finds a way to slay Michael Myers?

By not stepping into the ownership of your own awesomeness, worthiness, and resilience, you risk blocking your desires energetically and by short sighted, fear based, desperate choices that suck. This is how fear and desperation will block what you desire. This isn’t theory, my darling. I have seen this play out in so many women’s lives.

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