Episode 018: Impacts and lessons of social ostracism on parents and kids The Best We Could: A Parenting Manual for Our Kids
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- Parenting
How our kids will deal with peer pressure, social ostracism, and wanting to “fit in” is determined largely by how they see us dealing with these issues as parents. We recount how we were given a choice between our peer group and our kids, how we made the decision, and the consequences of our choice.
Summary and Notes
[00:01:11] – The going away party
[00:06:51] – Being ostracized used from a group
[00:10:54] – The group fractures from within
[00:15:27] – The lesson to take away
[00:17:10] – Understanding where we stand in our family
Quotes from the Episode:
“We prefer to take care of conflict on a personal level.” [00:05:29]
“If we roll over on this then what we are basically sending a signal that we don’t care about our children as much as we care about fitting in with your group.” [00:08:05]
“It made us realize there was more power that we had than we acknowledged.” [00:13:56]
“Understand the groups that you belong in, understand the feelings of belongingness and how that feels really good, then ask yourself what would it take to make this feeling go away.” [00:15:30]
“I think that groups and community are vital to interdependence….the important thing to know is what that group is all about and what happens to that group when it’s tested.” [00:16:19]
“It’s easy to spout platitudes and talk about family first but then to actually identify what that means and to live those values I think is extremely important and an extremely valuable lesson.” [00:17:38]
Transcript Below
How our kids will deal with peer pressure, social ostracism, and wanting to “fit in” is determined largely by how they see us dealing with these issues as parents. We recount how we were given a choice between our peer group and our kids, how we made the decision, and the consequences of our choice.
Summary and Notes
[00:01:11] – The going away party
[00:06:51] – Being ostracized used from a group
[00:10:54] – The group fractures from within
[00:15:27] – The lesson to take away
[00:17:10] – Understanding where we stand in our family
Quotes from the Episode:
“We prefer to take care of conflict on a personal level.” [00:05:29]
“If we roll over on this then what we are basically sending a signal that we don’t care about our children as much as we care about fitting in with your group.” [00:08:05]
“It made us realize there was more power that we had than we acknowledged.” [00:13:56]
“Understand the groups that you belong in, understand the feelings of belongingness and how that feels really good, then ask yourself what would it take to make this feeling go away.” [00:15:30]
“I think that groups and community are vital to interdependence….the important thing to know is what that group is all about and what happens to that group when it’s tested.” [00:16:19]
“It’s easy to spout platitudes and talk about family first but then to actually identify what that means and to live those values I think is extremely important and an extremely valuable lesson.” [00:17:38]
Transcript Below