31 min

Episode 18 Shaming our Kids The Working Mom: Life of A Bully Teacher

    • Kids & Family

Shame is a nasty feeling. It can come when we least expect it! It hits us, like a good old fashioned car crash, we can’t escape. I think that if you are from my generation and the generations before me, shaming your child was a way to gain control and keep the kids in line. With the evolution of our emotional intelligence and cognitive abilities we know that shaming does more damage than good. It harms our self-worth, self-esteem, and resilience. Shame forces us to disconnect, sit alone, and feel worthless.

Today I want to focus on my experience with watching an adult shame a child, and how we can learn new strategies to eliminate shaming behaviors in our home. It can be hard, I was raised believing that I was not good enough or I was spoiled. I was raised to keep quiet and not make waves. Those lessons don't served me anymore. In a world of growth mind set, emotional intelligence, and culture fluidity, we don’t have the room to shame each other.

How to Address Shame in your home:
1- Talk about the situation and feeling tied to it with your child.
2-Take a nurturing stand point, be kind, and show empathy.
3-Talk about how you also feel shame sometimes and how you can relate to the emotions.
4-Let them sit with the emotion, process it with them, and talk about coping tools.
5-Do not try to to make it better, or say it’s not a big deal. Get to your child’s level and be in the moment with them. Saving them from the pain won't make it go away.

Shame Prevention Strategies:
1-Don’t put down your child or student in front of a group of people.
2-Avoid statements that put down a child.
3-Don’t challenge a child in public, we no longer come from a place where I child will just shrug their shoulders and cower. They will speak up, feel threaten and fight back.

These are some quick tips as you follow along on this podcast. I am here to support you and be here for you.

Lots of Love,

Kortney

Shame is a nasty feeling. It can come when we least expect it! It hits us, like a good old fashioned car crash, we can’t escape. I think that if you are from my generation and the generations before me, shaming your child was a way to gain control and keep the kids in line. With the evolution of our emotional intelligence and cognitive abilities we know that shaming does more damage than good. It harms our self-worth, self-esteem, and resilience. Shame forces us to disconnect, sit alone, and feel worthless.

Today I want to focus on my experience with watching an adult shame a child, and how we can learn new strategies to eliminate shaming behaviors in our home. It can be hard, I was raised believing that I was not good enough or I was spoiled. I was raised to keep quiet and not make waves. Those lessons don't served me anymore. In a world of growth mind set, emotional intelligence, and culture fluidity, we don’t have the room to shame each other.

How to Address Shame in your home:
1- Talk about the situation and feeling tied to it with your child.
2-Take a nurturing stand point, be kind, and show empathy.
3-Talk about how you also feel shame sometimes and how you can relate to the emotions.
4-Let them sit with the emotion, process it with them, and talk about coping tools.
5-Do not try to to make it better, or say it’s not a big deal. Get to your child’s level and be in the moment with them. Saving them from the pain won't make it go away.

Shame Prevention Strategies:
1-Don’t put down your child or student in front of a group of people.
2-Avoid statements that put down a child.
3-Don’t challenge a child in public, we no longer come from a place where I child will just shrug their shoulders and cower. They will speak up, feel threaten and fight back.

These are some quick tips as you follow along on this podcast. I am here to support you and be here for you.

Lots of Love,

Kortney

31 min

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