32 min

Your Relationship Lacks Intimacy, And It’s Your Fault… Ladies with Laura Doyle Growth Marriage

    • Relationships

6 Intimacy Skills to Transform Your Relationship Self Care – In any relationship, you are responsible for your own happiness. If you rely on others to fill your self-worth tank, you’ll inevitably end up stranded on the side of the highway of life, broken down, frustrated, and alone. Rather than relying on others to fill up that love tank, take initiative and fill it up yourself.  This means you must love yourself, not just with words, but with actions.Make a list of things that fill you with joy, energy, and happiness then do those things every day. Make them a priority. Whether it’s sitting down to enjoy a cup of coffee, calling an old friend, writing in your journal, meditation or yoga, reading out of a good book, or some intense exercise, make a commitment to do the stuff you love religiously… make it as big of a priority as brushing your teeth – which you do regularly (I hope). Relinquish Inappropriate Control – Did you know that something as simple as telling a man he’s doing something wrong – even when well-intentioned – can be incredibly emasculating? As a man, I feel a sense of pride when I can provide, protect, or otherwise take care of those that I love. Often times, correcting things (especially small things), make us feel like we can’t do anything right. It’s easy to feel defeated, incompetent, and worthless when you can’t even dress yourself, or clean a mirror properly.Sure, many of you may say that I’m being over-sensitive. We men just need to “pony up” and “be a man” when it comes to taking criticism. Well, as a man, I’m telling you from the bottom of my heart: If you want more intimacy in your relationship, think before you speak. Your words can fill us up with courage, open us up to vulnerability, and give us the courage to slay dragons… or they can strip us of our confidence. The ball is in your court. Receive Graciously - When a man gives you something, whether it’s a gift, a compliment, or some form of help, he’s reaching out in an attempt to connect. It’s a display of his love and care. A rejection or dismissal of his effort to bond with you are not only a rejection of the offer itself, but a rejection of his attempt to connect, and subsequently a rejection of him.Rather than play the “not good enough” card, thank him and tell him how much you appreciate him… because he thinks you’re good enough, and sometimes that’s all that matters. Respect – For this skill, I quote Mrs. Doyle herself. Her words are just too perfect: “Lack of respect causes more divorces than cheating does because for men, respect is like oxygen. They need it more than sex. Respect means that you don’t dismiss, criticize, contradict or try to teach him anything. Of course he won’t do things the same way you do; for that, you could have just married yourself. But with your respect, he will once again do the things that amazed and delighted you to begin with — so much so that you married him.” Gratitude – Good men don’t do kind things with the expectation of thanks, but honestly, nothing is sexier than a woman who regularly expresses gratitude… especially for the things that you don’t expect them to be grateful for. When a woman expresses appreciation for something I did for them, it makes me feel like $1 million. It makes me want to do more nice things more often.Cultivating a habit of expressing gratitude every day will also put you in a mindset of looking for the very best things. When you see and recognize the best in a man, he will rise to the occasion, and become the best version of himself. Your gratitude has the ability to unlock hidden reserves of potential, intimacy, and overwhelming love. Vulnerability - A truly intimate and trusting relationship requires vulnerability at its very core. Getting naked emotionally with someone often requires a lot more of that trust than getting naked physically with them. Being vulnerable requires honesty and assertiven

6 Intimacy Skills to Transform Your Relationship Self Care – In any relationship, you are responsible for your own happiness. If you rely on others to fill your self-worth tank, you’ll inevitably end up stranded on the side of the highway of life, broken down, frustrated, and alone. Rather than relying on others to fill up that love tank, take initiative and fill it up yourself.  This means you must love yourself, not just with words, but with actions.Make a list of things that fill you with joy, energy, and happiness then do those things every day. Make them a priority. Whether it’s sitting down to enjoy a cup of coffee, calling an old friend, writing in your journal, meditation or yoga, reading out of a good book, or some intense exercise, make a commitment to do the stuff you love religiously… make it as big of a priority as brushing your teeth – which you do regularly (I hope). Relinquish Inappropriate Control – Did you know that something as simple as telling a man he’s doing something wrong – even when well-intentioned – can be incredibly emasculating? As a man, I feel a sense of pride when I can provide, protect, or otherwise take care of those that I love. Often times, correcting things (especially small things), make us feel like we can’t do anything right. It’s easy to feel defeated, incompetent, and worthless when you can’t even dress yourself, or clean a mirror properly.Sure, many of you may say that I’m being over-sensitive. We men just need to “pony up” and “be a man” when it comes to taking criticism. Well, as a man, I’m telling you from the bottom of my heart: If you want more intimacy in your relationship, think before you speak. Your words can fill us up with courage, open us up to vulnerability, and give us the courage to slay dragons… or they can strip us of our confidence. The ball is in your court. Receive Graciously - When a man gives you something, whether it’s a gift, a compliment, or some form of help, he’s reaching out in an attempt to connect. It’s a display of his love and care. A rejection or dismissal of his effort to bond with you are not only a rejection of the offer itself, but a rejection of his attempt to connect, and subsequently a rejection of him.Rather than play the “not good enough” card, thank him and tell him how much you appreciate him… because he thinks you’re good enough, and sometimes that’s all that matters. Respect – For this skill, I quote Mrs. Doyle herself. Her words are just too perfect: “Lack of respect causes more divorces than cheating does because for men, respect is like oxygen. They need it more than sex. Respect means that you don’t dismiss, criticize, contradict or try to teach him anything. Of course he won’t do things the same way you do; for that, you could have just married yourself. But with your respect, he will once again do the things that amazed and delighted you to begin with — so much so that you married him.” Gratitude – Good men don’t do kind things with the expectation of thanks, but honestly, nothing is sexier than a woman who regularly expresses gratitude… especially for the things that you don’t expect them to be grateful for. When a woman expresses appreciation for something I did for them, it makes me feel like $1 million. It makes me want to do more nice things more often.Cultivating a habit of expressing gratitude every day will also put you in a mindset of looking for the very best things. When you see and recognize the best in a man, he will rise to the occasion, and become the best version of himself. Your gratitude has the ability to unlock hidden reserves of potential, intimacy, and overwhelming love. Vulnerability - A truly intimate and trusting relationship requires vulnerability at its very core. Getting naked emotionally with someone often requires a lot more of that trust than getting naked physically with them. Being vulnerable requires honesty and assertiven

32 min