I don't know about you, but I find myself at times saying that once a certain event in life is over, I will do something. So, as an example, in the past, we weren't always committed to attending Church each Sunday. We preferred to have a day without setting an alarm and felt like it was a pain to get the kids ready to go.
Do I think you need to attend Church to be Christian? I do not. However, I do believe it strengthens your faith when you attend on a regular basis. I bring up this example to dive into a deeper topic.
I grew up in a Christian household and believed in Jesus, but I was not making my faith an important part in my life. I was too busy working and raising a family, or so I told myself. I would turn to God when I needed Him, but I certainly was not putting Him first in my life.
I was getting out of the relationship, exactly what I was putting in, which wasn't what I needed. I remember seeing a friend of mine post boldly about her love for Jesus and I thought she was extremely brave. I'm actually embarrassed to admit that I felt that way. Later, I reach out to her to let her know what her posts did for me.
I started to think about my relationship with God and realized that I was a bit disconnected. During this time, I also found myself wondering if God truly existed (the whole I can't see him, so how do I know??). A conversation with my husband one evening was a turning point for me in my faith. He gave me peace about my doubts and made it clear that everyone goes through these moments. It was also a turning point in our marriage.
That was the start of a journey that lasted several years. Some were tough, and I believe very much that the enemy was attacking me, and God was fighting for my soul. I'm grateful that God won.
I'm being extremely vulnerable, because I know what it's like to be lost and broken. If you are struggling with doubts, or maybe you don't even realize you have doubts, but you are just disconnected, I want you to know you are not alone. I want you to know to start the fight or keep pushing through your current fight. It can be hard, but nothing is better than finding the person God created you to be.