75 episodes

We got married with children, together we have 4 kids! We want to share what works for us and what doesn't. For step-parents, co-parents, marriage, being your best self, managing work, family, friends & health... we're going to talk about everything, always.

Everything Always Michael and Summer Mulder

    • Parenting
    • 4.7 • 38 Ratings

We got married with children, together we have 4 kids! We want to share what works for us and what doesn't. For step-parents, co-parents, marriage, being your best self, managing work, family, friends & health... we're going to talk about everything, always.

    Everything Always Episode 75: When You’re Met with Disrespect from Your Step Kids – Could This Be For You?

    Everything Always Episode 75: When You’re Met with Disrespect from Your Step Kids – Could This Be For You?

    Is this the year that you plan to implement boundaries and gain respect with your step children? We hear a lot of issues come up when it comes to disrespect from step kids, and as we break into a new year, it’s time to address them. You will hear about key ways that others have successfully dealt with disrespect and learn how to turn the tides toward a peaceful and respectful home.
    In this episode, I will be drawing from strategies that have been used by step-parents to handle situations that have gone downhill and how they have fostered respect. You will learn the signs that it’s time to disengage from your step child or step children, the best ways to disengage, and the outcomes that are most important in order for you, your relationship, and the step child to get back to a good place.
    3:43 – 4:37 - An anonymous letter.
    5:33 – 7:40 - The change that often happens in step relationships.
    7:41 – 10:46 – Second-guessing the whole situation and where to go from there.
    10:47 – 14:10 – The process of disengagement and how to implement it.
    14:11 – 24:00 – Situations that show it’s time to disengage.
    24:01 – 36:04– What disengagement really means.
    36:05 – 40:47 – The results of disengaging.
    Takeaways:
    The small but significant things that can change your relationship with a step child overnight. What to do when you realize things have changed for the worse. How to disengage and why it’s an important thing to do. What other step parents have done to successfully change the dynamic. How to set the right intention in order for disengaging to be successful.  
    Quotes:
    “It’s okay if you don’t love your step children as your own.” – Summer Mulder
    “It can’t be just you enforcing the rules, and it will not help the relationship with your step child if you’re the only one nagging about things.” – Summer Mulder
    “The only person you can control is yourself, so you have to do the things that are going to make you feel better and be at your best.” – Summer Mulder
     
    3 Interesting Clips:
    11:29 – 11:54 – The importance of giving a new relationship time to learn and grow feelings.
    13:30 – 14:01 - The danger of thinking you have to love a step child as your own.
     17:31 – 18:22 – The right intention to set when disengaging.
    Links:
     Send us an anonymous letter  
    Subscribe & Review in iTunes!
    Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
    And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
    Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
    Find the Everything Always Podcast wherever you listen!
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    • 41 min
    Everything Always Episode 74: Healing After Divorce with Wendy Sterling

    Everything Always Episode 74: Healing After Divorce with Wendy Sterling

    My guest today has an incredible and inspiring story that I think will be such a blessing for you to hear and learn from. Wendy Sterling came from a successful career in the corporate world and had her world rocked by a rocky divorce, and she joins the show today to share her story about ditching her “poor me” attitude and ultimately deciding to help both women and men get through divorce.
    If you are going through a divorce and feel lonely or lost going through the process, Wendy has so much encouragement and support to offer. Listen in to hear her story and the insight she gained while going through the process herself. Even if you went through divorce years ago and are still feeling the trauma or difficulties relating to it, this episode is for you.
    3:41 – 7:05 - An anonymous letter.
    8:19 – 12:30 - How Wendy created her business and why it’s so important.
    12:31 – 13:34 – The "I do, I did, I’m done" program and how it works.
    16:13 – 19:18 – Going from quick fix to long-term transformation and recovery.
    19:19 – 21:44 – What is keeping you stuck and what you need to do first.
    21:45 – 36:01 – The role of mindfulness in your recovery.
    36:02 – 43:37 – The goal at the end of your recovery and what it actually means to be recovered.
    44:38 – 00:44 – Wendy’s best advice for those who are thinking about divorce.
    Takeaways:
    The empowering side of the divorce process. Why it’s important to change the conversation around divorce. The key thing that got Wendy through her divorce recovery. Turning to the right sources for help. How to know if you’ve gotten over your divorce or not. The importance of mindfulness and pouring into yourself. What to think about when considering divorce.  
    Quotes:
    “It’s really about just rooting yourself in the present moment. You don’t have to react right away.” – Wendy Sterling
    “I love sharing my story because one of the things us divorcees don’t do enough is being authentic and vulnerable. I find that by sharing my story, it lets others know they are not alone in this experience.” – Wendy Sterling
    “I’ve realized that my divorce happened FOR me, not TO me. I have a lot of pride in helping other people to get through this experience because nobody should do it alone.” – Wendy Sterling
     
    3 Interesting Clips:
    12:55 – 13:34 – What REHAB stands for in the context of divorce recovery.
    13:35 – 14:20 - How the conversation around divorce needs to change.
     20:25 – 21:30 – The importance of talking to the right people about your divorce.
    Links:
    Wendy Sterling: Website | Wendy’s Facebook | Instagram | Podcast | Facebook Free 15-minute call with Wendy Subscribe & Review in iTunes!
    Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
    And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
    Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
    Find the Everything Always Podcast wherever you listen!
    Apple Podcasts (iTunes)
    acast
    Pocketcasts
    ListenNotes
    Spotify
    player.fm
     

    • 51 min
    Everything Always Episode 73: Making 2021 Awesome!

    Everything Always Episode 73: Making 2021 Awesome!

    We are all set to make 2021 our best year yet! We were able to squeeze time in our schedule to sit down together and do something that will set us up for success in the next year: vivid visioning.
    Wondering what that is? Listen in to find out! You'll also learn what our process looks like, what we expect to get out of it, and our tips for making it fun and creative for yourself so you can keep the momentum going well past the new year.
    1:15 – 3:59 - What we’re doing to prepare for 2021.
    4:00 – 7:24 - What our process of visioning looks like. 
    7:25 – 12:09 - Why it’s important to share goals with our partners. 
    12:10 – 14:00 - Why it’s also important to celebrate your wins.
     
    Takeaways:
    Allow yourself to dream. Get clear on what you want. Share your goals with your partner. Break your goals down and take action. Do regular check-ins.  
    Quotes:
    “What you can conceive, you can achieve.”
    “Allow yourself to dream about the excellence that you can make a reality.”
    “If you don’t know where you’re going, how are you going to get there?”
     
    3 Interesting Clips:
    2:33 – 2:45 - Goals without a plan are just a wish.
    4:40 –  5:20 - What a “vivid vision” is.
    12:10 – 12:40 - Why it’s important to acknowledge your accomplishments.
     
    Links:
    The Temecula Creek Inn Vivid Vision: A Remarkable Tool for Aligning Your Business Around a Shared Vision of the Future by Cameron Herold  
    Subscribe & Review in iTunes!
    Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
    And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
    Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
    Find the Everything Always Podcast wherever you listen!
    Apple Podcasts (iTunes)
    acast
    Pocketcasts
    ListenNotes
    Spotify
    player.fm

    • 16 min
    Everything Always Episode 72: The Gift of Not Reacting

    Everything Always Episode 72: The Gift of Not Reacting

    We all have super hard times, but there is one thing that has really helped me to get through my own hard times, and it’s something that we’ve talked about a lot on this podcast. In this episode, I’m going deeper on this concept that has literally changed my life and has helped me feel like I had control in situations where I felt like I had none. The tool I’m talking about? The gift of not reacting.
    This is such a simple superpower that has the potential to give each of us a different mindset and framework to work with so that we can regain control of our lives. Listen in as I get really vulnerable about my own journey through divorce and how this concept changed my whole perspective. Not only did it give me control back, but it also empowered me and opened me up to so much more learning.
    1:40 - 6:14 - My personal hard times.
    6:15 - 8:49 - Why battles often resurface.
    8:50 - 18:04 - How I started to get my power back.
    18:05 - 22:24 - The simple concept that changed my life.
    22:25 - 30:14 - The shift that happens when you apply this tool in your own life.
    30:15 - 31:20 - Other parts of your life where you could apply this concept.
     
    Takeaways:
    You have the power. Take a deep breath before responding. Don’t get caught up in proving a point. You control how you respond. Don’t engage—unless you want to.  
    Quotes:
    “Divorce came, heartbreak came, and suddenly I had all of these emotions stirred up that anything could make me cry.”
    “The holidays bring out a lot of extra stress for some people.”
    “You are determining your mood for the day based on what someone else thinks and what their mood is.”
    “I would consciously take a deep breath and acknowledge the feelings that I was having.”
    “You have control over yourself, not someone else.”
     
    3 Interesting Clips:
    1:40 - 5:30 - How easy it can be to feel terrorized by things outside of your control.
    9:40 - 11:05 - Why divorce attorneys are so much more than just attorneys.
    22:25 -23:30 - What happens when you’re in your ego state versus your receiving state.
     
    Subscribe & Review in iTunes!
    Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
    And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
    Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
    Find the Everything Always Podcast wherever you listen!
    Apple Podcasts (iTunes)
    acast
    Pocketcasts
    ListenNotes
    Spotify
    player.fm

    • 31 min
    Everything Always Episode 71: Difficult Step-Teen

    Everything Always Episode 71: Difficult Step-Teen

    In this episode, we will be addressing the challenging position of being a step-parent to a teen who is disrespectful and determined to run you out of their parent’s life. This is something we hear a lot about, so we will do our best to shed light on what’s going on and how you can handle this situation in a positive and productive way.
    You will also hear an anonymous letter that was written by a mom to her daughter’s new stepmom. It shares such a raw side of the difficult relationships that occur through blending families and the importance of always striving to make the best of it. From being a parent dealing with a difficult step-child to being a parent struggling with the new relationships your child is a part of, we hope that today’s chat will bring some ideas and clarity that will upgrade your blended life.
    2:26 – 5:29 - An anonymous letter from a mom to her daughter’s stepmom.
    5:30 – 7:08 - The importance of writing an apology—even if it isn’t sent.
    7:09 – 12:10 - Unpacking the step-parent and step-teen relationship.
    12:11 – 15:40 - The role of setting and managing expectations from the start.
    15:41 – 20:33 - Evaluating your relationship importance and managing roles.
    20:34 – 26:17 - The difference between taking sides and incorporating discipline.
    Takeaways:
    Taking the right steps toward an apology. Identifying where pain and ego are making you into something you’re not. Dealing with an intentionally disrespectful and confrontational step-child. Why your expectations are a huge part of your reality and how to find perspective. The importance of knowing that this could possibly never change and how that would play out for your relationship. Quotes:
    “I never wanted the divorce, but I’ve learned to take responsibility for why it happened.”
    “The real strange truth is that my anger and hurt don’t stem from me not liking you. I don’t actually have a good reason not to like you—except for the fact that he loves you and not me.”
    “It’s not your job to insert yourself into someone’s life and make it mandatory that you’re going to connect. Their feelings are real and you have to understand that.”
    3 Interesting Clips:
    2:59 – 3:15 – The value of thinking (or sleeping) before responding to things or speaking on things.
    9:28 – 10:14 - Why issues with step-parents and step-children are at a higher level now.
    14:05 – 14:21 – Expectations when it comes to connection and what your job IS NOT.
    Subscribe & Review in iTunes!
    Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
    And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
    Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
    Find the Everything Always Podcast wherever you listen!
    Apple Podcasts (iTunes)
    acast
    Pocketcasts
    ListenNotes
    Spotify
    player.fm

    • 26 min
    Everything Always Episode 70: Getting Through The Holidays As A Blended Family

    Everything Always Episode 70: Getting Through The Holidays As A Blended Family

    We know how hard it is to be in a blended family, and then you add in the craziness of the holidays and it takes the challenges to a whole ‘nother level. This episode is for all of you who are in the beginning stages of your blended families because it’s exactly the stuff that I needed to hear when we first blended our family—and sometimes I still need the reminder!
    Listen in as I share my tips to not only survive, but thrive during the holidays and really enjoy the moments with your family, in whatever shape that takes. You'll learn how to let go of expectations, avoid drama, and redefine what your perfect holiday consists of so that this holiday will be one to remember for all the right reasons.
    2:15 – 5:10 - Why the holidays can be especially tough for blended families.
    5:11 – 7:07 - How to let go of expectations and shrug off judgment from others.
    7:08 – 9:21 - How to manage different schedules during the holidays.
    9:22 – 11:17 - How to overcome—or avoid completely—holiday drama.
    12:15 – 17:45 - Why it’s important to let your blended family just be what it is and go with the flow.
    17:46 – 20:34 - Why sometimes arguments are actually necessary.
    20:35 – 21:39 - Everything happens for an opportunity.
    21:40 – 27:03 - Tips to manage through the holidays.
    27:04 – 28:29 - Don’t forget to make alone time for yourself too!
    28:30 – 31:00 - Final thoughts on getting through the holidays.
     
    Takeaways:
    Embrace the chaos. Let go of expectations. Look for opportunities in the madness. Redefine what perfect is. Don’t put guilt on yourself.  
    Quotes:
    “Take the pressure off of what you think you’re supposed to look like and enjoy what you have.”
    “It’s all about perspective, and you get to choose that for yourself.”
    “Let your blended family be exactly what it is.”
    “Redefine what amazing is.”
     
    3 Interesting Clips:
    10:30 – 11:17 - Finding calm amidst the craziness.
    13:43 – 14:50 - How to accept the ebb and flow of life and family.
    28:45 – 31:00 - Don’t let yourself feel guilty, embrace the small moments, and cultivate a connection with those who matter most.
     
    Subscribe & Review in iTunes!
    Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
    And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
    Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
    Find the Everything Always Podcast wherever you listen! Apple Podcasts (iTunes)
    acast
    Pocketcasts
    ListenNotes
    Spotify
    player.fm

    • 31 min

Customer Reviews

4.7 out of 5
38 Ratings

38 Ratings

lits of varity ,

Speaks so much to what I need

I was introduced to your podcast years ago but recently feel like I’ve been able to relate more to the experiences you share and love the guests you have on. Well done!!

Hit a man ,

Setting examples for all of us

Summer and Mike often discuss the importance of not badmouthing family members. I think they do a very respectable job of sharing their experiences without pointing fingers. That’s not an easy task considering the topics. Kudos to you both!

Annie Manoo ,

Curious

Scrolling through the reviews, I’ve noticed that some people have gripes about the podcasters not divulging private, detailed information pertaining to their own family. Lest we forget that there are minors involved. How one would find fault in someone protecting a child is beyond my comprehension. Come on folks, let’s use logic and move on.

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