Fat Vampire Johnny B. Truant on Podiobooks.com
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When overweight treadmill salesman Reginald Baskin finally meets a co-worker who doesn't make fun of him, it's just his own bad luck that tech guy Maurice turns out to be a two thousand-year-old vampire.
And when Maurice turns Reginald to save his life, it's just Reginald's own further bad luck that he wakes up to discover he's become the slowest, weakest, most out-of-shape vampire ever born, doomed to "heal" to his corpulent self for all of eternity.
As Reginald struggles with the downsides of being a fat vampire -- too slow to catch people to feed on, mocked by those he tries to glamour, assaulted by his intended prey and left for undead -- he discovers in himself rare powers that few vampires have… and just in time too, because the Vampire Council might just want his head for being an inferior representative of their race.
Fat Vampire is the story of an unlikely hero who, after having an imperfect eternity shoved into his grease-stained hands, must learn to turn the afterlife's lemons into tasty lemon danishes.
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Fat Vampire 8
Reginald's sentence is carried out while he's forced to watch another's doom.
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Fat Vampire 7
Reginald and Maurice head off for their rendezvous with the elusive and paranoid Vampire Council. After being tested and sentenced, Reginald's resignation and will to surrender is tested when the council reveals a surprising ace up their sleeve.
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Fat Vampire 6
Reginald impresses Nikki despite his self-doubt. Maurice explains some new trouble with the Vampire Nation, and Nikki reveals a surprise about her background with Maurice.
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Fat Vampire 5
Reginald's attempts to feed are again thwarted, but with surprising results. Maurice explains the nature of vampire society. Returning to work on the night shift, Reginald meets a new friend and re-encounters an old foe.
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Fat Vampire 4
Reginald attempts to feed like a vampire only to discover more of his shortcomings. After spending the day under a bridge in the park, he resorts to desperate measures in order to get the blood he needs.
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Fat Vampire 3
Reginald returns to work, realizing that a change to the night shift might be in urgent order. Later at home, Maurice discovers a new and optimistic twist on Reginald's vampire abilities.
Customer Reviews
Goth, Super Sized!
This aint your typical vampire flick, no sir. Reggie is certainly an iconoclast in the 20th century vampire world. I loved this story. What fun. Great story, great audio, and a side of fried chicken. Eat it up; I sure did.
Better than expected!
Pleasantly surprised. Well done. Going to look into his other books.
Great Book, Good Audio
I read this book a couple months ago but this is a great way to enjoy it too. It's far better than the title might suggest. Fat Vampire is well worth listening to.