Murder-Suicide Matinee Cami vs. Rosa
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- TV & Film
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If there’s one thing people love, according to itunes, it’s shows where best friends talk about bad movies. Since we’re worst enemies, we feel like we’ve identified a real gap in the market!
Join us as we inflict horrible, horrible, horrible mistakes of cinema on each another. Who will snap first? Cami? Rosa? Our long suffering listeners? There's one way to find out.
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Riverdance: The Animated Adventure
Did you think it was over? Did you think we were finished? Did you really, truly, honestly believe we have anything better to do with our time than bicker over certified rotten animated features? Foolish. Four years after Cats tried to put us in the ground, we are risen again like the good lord himself. For humanity's sins, we watched Riverdance: The Animated Adventure.
Featuring: Unnecessary lockdown hobbies, things that go beep boop, Cami dated a guy once, grandma's charging dock, and Irishman colony collapse.
Movie: Riverdance: The Animated Adventure
Director: Eamonn Butler & Dave Rosenbaum
Rating: Poison to frogs
Follow our Patreon for show updates, episode notes, stills and more!
intro and outro music: "Everyone in Town Wants You Dead" by Singing Sadie
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CATS
Our very first very special 2-hour On Release spectacular. What is there to say? We saw it. We went. There was vore. There were computer faces. There were naked human hands. Oh man. Oh boy. Oh kids.
Featuring: Cami almost gets arrested, two literal dissociative episodes, filthy fursuits, a jellicle cat is a racist cat, everything you've ever wanted to know about trains (but it was too boring to ask), Ian McKellen's tongue acting, a tour of hell, podcast trial of the century
Movie: CATS (2019)
Director: Tom Hooper
Rating: literalists go to hell
Special thanks to interview victims:
William "Just Here For Railway Cats" Harmon
Chris "The Road Rage Cat" Fennell
Joslin "The Boots-Wearing Cat" Harmon
Jane "The Cat Who's Joslin's Mom" Mathews
Randy "The Cat Who's Joslin's Dad" Mathews
Abby the Consumptive Cowboy Cat
Jenni the Cat Who Brought the Vodkas
Kate the Aviary Cat
Samantha the Cat Who's Happy for the Vore Community
...and two anonymous 12-year-old girls who had the misfortune to make eye contact with Cami while the audio recorder was out.
intro and outro music: “Everyone in Town Wants You Dead” by Singing Sadie -
Spookley the Square Pumpkin
In accordance with MSM tradition (that is very on purpose and an intentional part of our brand, and NOT the whim of a chaotic universe), we present to you this year's Halloween-in-December pre-holiday spookfest: 2004's Spookley the Square Pumpkin!
You may have heard of this lumpen mistake of nature recently from some other, much more popular podcast, who may have given away the whole synopsis to an audience who could populate a reasonably sized town, and may be smarter, funnier and collectively more handsome than at least one of our hosts.* It's okay, though, you wouldn't be listening to this show if you were interested in quality over quantity. It's only worth mentioning because we read out some reviews on this episode, and it should be noted this was recorded before that other show aired. You'll understand why it matters when you get there.
Get cosy, get nogged, turn down the lights, and feast your ears on the terrifying ballad of Scrumbles the Squmpkin. P.S: We are so sorry for all the terrible things we said.
*Cami
Featuring: padcasts, the J/O-lympics, what the f**k is a veggie tale, laughing at a real dead guy, pumpkin full of organs, save the day with your huge square ass
Movie: Spookley the Square Pumpkin (2004)
Director: Bernie Denk
Rating: Sigmund Freud Was Right
intro and outro music: “Everyone in Town Wants You Dead” by Singing Sadie
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Help! I'm a Fish
I'm a little yellow fish in a deep blue sea - won't somebody save me?
Oh yes we're revisiting the MILLENNIUM FISH MOVIE CRAZE that I bet you don't remember at all. With a completely inexplicable cast including Alan Paul, Aaron Rickman, Tabitha St. Germain and Terry Jones, Help! I'm A Fish is an inscrutable series of creative decisions that we were absolutely unprepared to witness.
Featuring: the continued saga of Dr. whatever his name is, yeet your sister, Doing The Icarus, and Alan Rickman's bare human ass
Movie: Hjælp! Jeg er en Fisk (Help! I'm A Fish) (2000)
Four Whole Ass Directors: Stefan Fjeldmark, Greg Manwaring, Michael Donovan, & Michael Hegner
Rating: [sound only dogs can hear]
intro and outro music: “Everyone in Town Wants You Dead” by Singing Sadie -
Peter Rabbit
Big Audio tried to shut us down, but you can't kill what already wants to die...
That's right, Murder-Suicide Matinee is BACK for an absolutely arbitrary Season 2. After moving to opposite time zones and losing a full episode and a half of recordings, regular brained podcast hosts might give up. But not us, baby. We're bigger and better and gayer than ever, and we're ready to talk at great length about the mixed CGI template for a screenplay that is 2018's Peter Rabbit.
Featuring: Inexplicably dreadful audio, Name That White Guy, a straight up goddamn murder in the first ten minutes of this children's movie, and a whole lot of questionable use of mental health terminology that will probably get us cancelled!
note: There was something badly wrong with Lee's mic in the first half of this episode, so the audio quality is something akin to a 1910s preacher yelling into a tin can on a wire. It does get a little better later on. And trust us, we paid the price.
Movie: Peter Rabbit (2018)
Director: Will Gluck
Rating: So STUPID why doid they do that cringe stupid go get a sandwich!
intro and outro music: “Everyone in Town Wants You Dead” by Singing Sadie
we have a brand new Patreon!
guilt us into producing regular episodes (or just, like, help us keep the old ones online) by donating a buck or two in return for bonus content. You want it, we got it. But more importantly, you WANT it. -
The Boss Baby
This episode gestated almost as long as a real baby! Join us for timely and topical new year humour, and sizzling hot takes on that one weird pro-life zootopia comic everyone's already forgotten about!
Oh, we also talk about 2017's The Boss Baby - the movie with a definite article in the title that nobody acknowledges, made by adults who have a lot to say about corporate culture and have evidently never met a real human child.
Featured highlights: Wizzy is my father, schroedinger's pregnancy, a check-in with the Elvis industry, and children are sociopaths
note: we had some technical issues with Cami’s audio on this episode - it’s totally listenable but you might hear a couple of glitches where the ends of her words clip out. it’s okay, she wasn’t saying anything important anyway.
Movie: The Boss Baby (2017)
Directors: Tom McGrath
Rating: unattended child crying in an airport for 8 hours
intro and outro music: “Everyone in Town Wants You Dead” by Singing Sadie
rate us on iTunes, and check out our tumblr for displays of sheer antipathy towards our wonderful tortured fans!
Customer Reviews
Sure Is Something
Oh Man I thought I wrote a review for this podcast, but I guess iTunes ate it. Regardless, this is a super great podcast and I'm excited to see where it goes - it's surprisingly rare to find a podcast that specializes in bad animation where the hosts actually know their stuff. I can't wait to see what putrid slime of a film they watch next! By which I mean, I hope the next movie is so terrible that their computers selectively break down and don't allow them to watch any more movies but otherwise work just fine, thus breaking the cycle of horrible cinematic sin and allowing them to live their lives without experiencing things such as Agent F.O.X. or knockoff Don Bluth.
everything is terrible
i will never see minions as anything other than fetal homer simpsons now
terrible
they should both be executed