Benji Bruce Podcast Benji Bruce

We know we should study successful people and model their success. But how do you study success?

Don't crush your own dreams. The world around you is already trying to do that to you so don't help them out. You need to be an anomaly if you want to make big changes in your life.

In this episode we talk about how to get unstuck. On your entrepreneur journey, you're going to feel stuck. You're going to feel uncertain about what to do next. So what do you do about it? That's what we discuss in this episode.

Pain and struggle is part of growing a business. Eventually, you'll become numb to the pain and keep pushing through the struggle to reach your success

Show Notes: Definition of humble: Having or showing a modest or low estimate of one's own importance Can you accomplish greatness with that mindset?   Definition of self-esteem Confidence in one's own worth or abilities; self-respect   Nobody else is responsible for building your self esteem The world doesn't care about your self esteem Despite what people post online about 'being nice'   Most of your problems come from a lack of confidence in yourself You don't do b/c you're not confident in achieving the end result Uncertainty   Getting bullied - only solution is self esteem Only hurts when you don't think highly of yourself Ex: Magic forum cyberbully (thumb gangsters) You can't get bullied unless you accept THEIR story of you   Your Story vs Their Story What's the story you tell yourself in your head? Ex: Can't do something b/c of...(excuse) Ex: They say you have a big nose... "Uh ok. Is that your fetish?"   Average people want you to lower your self-esteem b/c it makes them feel better Crabs in a bucket Mayweather's father didn't tell him to not think he's great Tiger Woods, Kobe, Jordan, Elon Musk...they told themselves a different story They will say: "He's arrogant/cocky" Successful people understand Ex: Mike Tyson on Deontay Wilder saying he will beat Tyson Tyson's response: "He has to think like that. I thought that too"   The story in your head vs Story you say out loud Say it out loud = cocky Keep it to yourself = humble   Confidence comes from competence You develop self-esteem by knowing the truth (about you) Can't tell Tiger Woods he sucks. He knows he doesn't Don't need to say it...you need to show it "I'm the greatest" vs "I'm going to be the greatest" "I'm the greatest" = complacent & don't improve "Going to be..." = always improving (allows you to stay on top)   Doesn't mean you're cocky You're aware of what you're good at & not good at Only real confidence can admit what they're not good at   You have to think highly of yourself to accomplish great things Allows you to destroy obstacles Problems, people, anything Become delusional - "against all odds, you're going to do it" Elon Musk - they said it can't be done, he said "I'll show" The only people who WILL do it are the ones who believe they CAN do it   This isn't affirmations Affirmations is when you're trying to convince yourself of something you're not Confidence is when you know it to be true (you have reason for believing) Ex: Ali - "I'm the greatest", part showmanship but also knew the work he put into it Ex: Elon Musk - he understood the science behind it They understood they can 'get there' rather than thinking 'I'm already there'   You have to have a chip on your shoulder b/c of what it does to you psychologically Beliefs are more about what they do to you rather than whether or not they're true What does the thought do to you? Ex: Mike Tyson - "I'm going to kill him" Hit with bad intentions Believe it's possible = you try Don't believe? = won't even start   Self esteem = built through competence   Stop accepting the story people create for you "You're weird" "You're crazy" "It's not possible" "You're too old"   Start creating the story YOU want for YOU Self esteem allows you to create your story   Stop being so humble. Create YOUR story

Most people aren't willing to sit through the boring parts of their business, for long enough, for their business to take off Why aren't things working out for you the way you thought they would? You're too much in your feelings Story: Getting gigs with emailing was boring and hard Didn't say the right things People said no or ignored me Cold emailing is boring Excited at first, do the work, takes a long time, get demotivated, switch to something else What built the entertainment business? = Cold emailing...a task I hated Steve Jobs: "It's so hard that any rational person would give up" Most damaging success advice: "Do what you love" Instead, DO WHAT YOU MUST I didn't love cold emailing I don't love creating ads Story: Hated taking a bus to get restaurant gigs But it needs to get done by you or someone else The tasks that grow your business are the tasks you don't like doing. So most people don't do those tasks long enough to create enough momentum in their business for it to grow Same happened with building an online business Tasks are repetitive Create content, write emails, ads Didn't like ads but that generated the revenue Didn't like putting numbers into a spreadsheet but it helped Almost everything that will help your business grow are things you don't like doing ...that's why people give up To make it worse, you have to do it for a long period of time Not a month or two. YEARS Starting a sport = don't expect to be good immediately Things not working? Not doing right things Not doing the right things often enough Doing the right things the wrong way You don't know what problem you have if you're going at it alone Ex: Mike Tyson can tell you what you're doing wrong in boxing vs trying to figure it out yourself Success has a way of weeding people out who don't want it bad enough People distract themselves Consuming too much content, Working on your business cards, social media etc Story: I'm writing these notes, I wanted to ask Alexa what the whether is like Bad: You're training your brain to do things when you're entertained You're training your brain to do the opposite of what it takes to be successful Train to work with purpose = no need to be entertained You've trained yourself to need entertainment (social media, etc) Most can't work for 90 min w/o distraction Train to work regardless of being entertained Watch YouTube videos that aren't 'fun', but useful Why are you doing this? Keep reminding yourself Pomodoro technique helped me 90 minutes on a task no matter what The people who can focus for long periods of time will have a huge advantage over everyone else Get Out Of Your Feelings Problem You do things based on how you feel rather than what needs to get done Demotivated = quit Feeling confused/uncertain = "I need to plan/research" Have I gotten demotivated? Of course But I get up the next day and do it anyways Have I wondered "What do I need to do to get business?" Of course Deep down I knew the answer, I just didn't want to do it You know the answer, you just don't want to do it Successful people do it despite how they feel Turn the bad feelings into good ones Ex: Cold emailing 'high score' game I made up Ex: Keep thinking about your WHY Ex: Anger to ambition - prove them wrong Ex: Hated cardio on machines - did boxing instead Urgency - move fast, be impatient If a feeling doesn't move you towards your goals then ignore the feelings Feelings stopping you? = put yourself in a meditative state Notice your feelings, don't act on them You get numb to anything that doesn't improve your life Got so many "no's" that I became numb to it Failed so many times I became numb to it You need to create momentum Get enough energy that you couldn't stop if you wanted You get addicted to the momentum Sit through the boring parts to get to the good parts