listening SUPERPOWER podcast Raquel Ark

How often do you catch yourself merely waiting for your turn to respond, not really noticing or even caring about what the other person is trying to communicate. This reactive mode of communication often stifles genuine expression, preventing us  from fully emptying our thoughts and emotions. Consequently, a lack of authentic listening extends to various facets of our lives, from family dynamics to professional environments, hindering meaningful connections and triggering misunderstandings.

Author of Better Listening, Stan Slovin has worked over 30 years in the securities industry with individuals, families, and business owners as a financial professional with major national brokerage firms. Stan earned his bachelor of science degree in finance at the Champaign- Urbana campus of the University of Illinois. He also holds a Juris doctorate from the University of Illinois Chicago School of Law. Stan is actively involved in charitable organizations focusing on mental health and children with disabilities. He loves traveling and plays in a rock and roll band. Stan, his wife, and their two adult children are from the Chicago area. 
In this episode, Stan talks about how empathy and genuine engagement can create safe spaces for authentic expression, both in personal relationships and professional environments. And he shares stories on how this paves the  way for more meaningful conversations and discussions.
"When others see that you are listening, not only will they appreciate it but you'll appreciate that they appreciate it and you'll be happier." - Stan Slovin
Listening SUPERPOWER Notes:
00:30 - That moment he noticed the power of listening: I've recognized this my whole life with my parents, at school and in the area of sales and advisory.
01:56 - Stan's aha moment about listening: We are actually listening to respond versus listening to understand.
04:15 - What is so important about leadership: Great leaders are the best listeners.
06:15 - A different approach to listening brought about by change
09:08 - The need to shift from transactional to empathetic listening
14:00 - What helps to improve productivity and retention at work: Leaders have to enable their employees to give feedback.
17:21 - The premise behind the title of his book, 'Better Listening'
20:54 - Life experiences showing how important empathy is in listening
23:57 - What 'emptying of bucket' as a result of empathy all boils down to: Allowing a person to go deeper instead of a surface response.
26:28 - The 'golden ticket question' you can use at work: What is most important to you with regard to a relationship with working with X?
30:24 - What Stan wants to see in a podcast interview and what relationship he wants to have with the host: What's important to me are open-ended questions.
33:12 - A deeper message he wants to share in his book: I want relationships to be better in terms of respect, of being considerate of others.
36:51 - The importance of fostering better relationships through better listening.
40:14 - Stan's most encouraging parting words: We're all good listeners; but we could all be better listeners.
Key Takeaways:
"To be a good leader you have to be a good listener." - Stan Slovin
"Why does a relationship leave? It was that they believed that you were not listening to them. you didn't have their best interest because you weren't hearing what they were saying. You were just always talking." - Stan Slovin
"People are crying to be heard.They want others to listen to them." - Stan Slovin
"Leaders don't have to change everything; they just have to tweak a little bit." - Stan Slovin
"Everyone could be a better listener because what's missing in the conversation is that we're not allowing that empathy piece to really play a key role." - Stan Slovin
"Empathy is key in listening." - Stan Slovin
"They don't have to agree with the person that's talking, but they should at least pause and listen to hear. So that there is mutual r

It's easy to overlook the power of listening to and reflecting on the pulse of the team, encouraging genuine connection and understanding. Before moving ahead towards our goals, why not take a moment to take a pulse of the collective team energy, ensuring alignment and fostering a more empathetic environment? 
 
As the Director of Engineering at Hotjar, Clint Calleja leads the engineering teams for the core features tribes, overseeing the development and delivery of web applications that help over 900,000 websites in 180+ countries understand and improve their user experience. With more than 16 years of experience, he has a proven track record of aligning, inspiring, and enabling others to succeed through communication, coaching, mentoring, and empowerment.
 
He uses a people-first, servant leadership approach and a data-driven, outcome-oriented mindset to guide teams and the organization towards achieving their goals and vision. His mission is to leverage his expertise in web applications, software development, and engineering leadership to create value for Hotjar's customers, employees, and shareholders.
 
In this episode, Clint shares how embracing vulnerability isn't a weakness; it's a strength that deepens bonds and accelerates progress. Working for a remote and fully distributed company, he explains the challenges of written communication and how he listens and aligns understanding. He also shares practical tools he uses to listen to the pulse of his teams that might surprise you. Enjoy this very insightful and practical episode of the listening SUPERPOWER podcast.
 
 “By slowing down, digesting communication, and leading with authenticity, we not only achieve lasting results but also cultivate a more humane and fulfilling experience for all involved."- Clint Calleja
 



SUPERPOWER Notes:
 
00:38 - The moment he first noticed the power of listening: When someone was seeing me as a human being, being part of a team of people rather than just an employee. 
 
02:47 - Important perspective on this idea of 'bringing your whole self to work'
 
05:02 - His approach to leading a team: I listen and I try to navigate between how many solutions I try to provide versus how much coaching and questioning and just nudging.
 
08:18 - Start the day with a simple pulse: We need to start with setting our self expectations.
 
14:07 - It's okay to be vulnerable: The best way I can do that is to be transparent.
 
14:59 - What his younger self needs to know early on as he looks back in hindsight
 
15:53 - A coaching approach he uses to manage multiple teams: I'm going to make myself available, I'll be able to listen, and I'll be able to work with the individual.
 
20:45 - Tools he uses that supports listening even with people working remotely: What I found really helpful is journaling.
 
27:46 - How he organizes the observations he gathers from listening: It has to be quick; it's a simple checklist for tasks and a checklist for observations.
 
33:11 - Perspective on how to approach feedback: It is a mindset change.
 
35:51 - Examples of how he executes his feedback process
 
39:01 - Advice to young generation leaders: I like to personally focus more on growth rather than promotions.
 
45:54 - The challenge to listening to written communication: You don’t have much visibility on the emotion
 
 47:48  - Explaining the concept of JOMO [Joy of Missing Out]
 
49:30 - The wisdom you find in asking question when in doubt
 
52:28 - Clint's significant message: "...that investment overtime accrues to much quicker decision-making, much more empowered people growing into leads..."
 
Key Takeaways:
 
"Before we decide what we are trying to achieve today, before we understand how much time we have on the way, let's start with a simple pulse: green, yellow, or red." - Clint Calleja
 
"I keep reminding myself from time to time that it's okay to be vulnerable, especially wi

Navigating leadership authentically and self-care is not as easy, especially when it seems like everything around you is “crashing down”.  Yet, what if this is an opportunity to find your purpose?   Discover the power of listening in purpose-lead leadership through this thought-provoking podcast episode.
Dive into a reflective conversation about the importance of being present, self-care, purpose, and trusting the process. Explore the journey of a working dad, leadership principles, and the impact of listening on personal and professional growth.
In this episode,you will enjoy listening to how Benjamin ‘Benny’ Achenbach  has navigated the challenges of entrepreneurship.  He shares a story about how he learned to listen to his inner voice amidst a family crisis that wiped his slate clean.  Benny is a sports enthusiast, a proud father of three, and the vice President of People & Culture at Just Spices GmbH .
Benny shares his experience around heart led leadership and decision making. Not only do we talk about fostering inclusive workplace cultures, our conversation transcends business by exploring resilience, self-awareness,  and the pursuit of happiness.  
Enjoy listening in.
"All leaders should be empathetic, and at the same time, capable of at least trying to actively listen” - Benjamin ‘Benny’ Achenbach
 
SUPERPOWER Notes:
01:22 - Raquel and Benny’s post-Wim Hof Expedition chance encounter. Reflecting on a serendipitous meeting that sparked a unique friendship and a transformative journey towards active listening mastery
03:09 - Uncover the power of reflection and connection in anchoring transformative experiences through active listening and shared reflections

06:14 -  Explore the transformative power of active listening in personal growth and communication, leading to deeper connections and understanding in relationships.
10:28 - The backpack method for reflection, delve into the art of active listening and the power of silencing distractions to truly engage and connect with others.
11:57 - Intention setting and reflecting on daily actions, uncover the hidden truths behind common social interactions and the power of active listening in fostering genuine connections.
17:05 - Benny’s  journey to Vice President of People and Culture
20:09 - Overcoming family business challenges
29:04 - The role of reflection and falling forward in business
34:26 - Trusting the process and maintaining positivity
40:29 - Integrating listening into business practices, thoughts on being present, reflecting, and self-care
53:22 - How to connect with the Benjamin Achenbach

Key Takeaways
"Try to be there for yourself because when you are there for yourself, you can also be caring for others."- Benjamin Achenbach
"Reflect about what you're doing every day, every second, every minute, every hour, the entire day, until your entire life is done."- Benjamin Achenbach
“Have a clear North Star for yourself and your team. It's about believing in the vision for the next five to ten years. For us at Just Spices, it's about going international and making cooking easier for our customers. This should be at the forefront of your mind. "- Benjamin Achenbach
on Listening “The more you are in the present moment and appreciate and be grateful for this journey in life, the more magical it can be." - Benjamin Achenbach
Connect with Benjamin Achenbach:
Linkedin: Benjamin Achenbach 
Just Spices Website: https://www.justspices.de/ 
WorkingDad Podcast :https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/working-dad-podcast/id1479570002 
 
Connect with Raquel Ark:
www.listeningalchemy.com
Mobile: + 491732340722
contact@listeningalchemy.com 
LinkedIn
Instagram: @listening_alchemy
Podcast email: listeningsuperpower@gmail.com
 
 
 

Conflicts can cause major stress on your relationships and your wellbeing. And often it's hard to put your finger on what just happened or why the same thing keeps happening. 
 
What if in that moment of chaos, when you feel overwhelmed or frustrated, listening could be your answer to breaking unhealthy communication patterns. In this episode of your listening SUPERPOWER podcast, we do a deep dive into how listening to our subconscious patterns and limiting beliefs can impact how we communicate at work and at home.  
 
My guest Thais Gibson, the creator of the Gibson Integrated Attachment Theory™, gives us insight on how our subconscious patterns impact how we make meaning about ourselves and how this impacts how we communicate. 
 
Her innovative framework unites traditional attachment theory, developmental psychology insights, and the potent subconscious reprogramming techniques.  She shares stories about how subconscious patterns can be managed for healthier relationships, and she gives us practical tips on expressing our needs, setting boundaries and on fostering connection. 
 
Thais has nearly a decade of experience running a successful private practice. She also has a diverse experience in modalities such as CBT, NLP, somatic experiencing internal family systems and shadow work. And this has influenced the Personal Development School, which is her educational platform that integrates an innovative coaching training program, which is based on the integrated attachment theory framework.



Enjoy this episode of your listening SUPERPOWER podcast where Thais shares frameworks that can help you notice how listening is impacted by your subconscious patterns and what can do about it, also in the business world.
 
Let’s listen in.
 
A Gift from You from Thais and Raquel:
Sign up for 40% off of the regular Personal Development School All Access Pass.
Enroll through this link
 
listening SUPERPOWER notes:
03:18 - The power of listening in childhood and its impact on adulthood
04:38 - Coping with chaos through Listening
07:39 - Impact of childhood experiences. importance of being present and listening in relationships
09:13 - Healing through listening. The impact of childhood experiences on adult relationships
12:41 - Resolving conflict through understanding, strategies for validating feelings and resolving conflicts
15:11 - Uncovering underlying wounds. The stages of relationships and navigating through them, both at home and at work.
16:13 - Childhood roots of adult patterns
20:08 - Impact of past experiences on present reactions
21:40 - Overcoming fear of giving feedback
24:56 - Shifting subconscious behaviors
25:28 - Reflections on business growth. Applying techniques to help team members with core wounds in the workplace
29:15 - Building trust and relationships
40:29 - Empowering others through positive reinforcement, Thais recommended resources for personal development and daily content on YouTube
 
Key Takeaways:
 
"...the power of listening is something that not only calms people but helps…become a mirror into people as well." - Thais Gibson
"(In conflict)...often we talk about superficial things. But if we get more present and we investigate a little bit further, it's really these underlying wounds that we're feeling."  - Thais Gibson
"Hard things are there to actually level us up to the next stage of who we're about to become."  - Thais Gibson
 
Connect with Thais Gibson
Website: https://university.personaldevelopmentschool.com/
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/ 
Book: Learning Love: Build the Best Relationships of Your Life Using Integrated Attachment Theory https://www.amazon.com/Learning-Love-Relationship-Integrated-Attachment/dp/B0CFGFV5CH?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=learn

Imagine sitting in a chair looking into a camera and being seen in a new way that feels like complete belonging.  And even though it's new, it's like it has always been there. It's always been you.  
Our guest filmmaker Nic Askew, shares a simple, yet profound way to experience listening, and his method may surprise you. 
He is the creator of Soul biographies, which includes the search for the Soul of America.  His unique interview method is a profound way to witness the human soul. This is an experience where you feel interconnected, belonging and have conscious insight. Nic shares his stories about how he uses film and works with individuals and groups.
Nic describes his work…“so that we might see ourselves reflected in each other so that we
might see beyond all differences, so that we might come to remember that we belong to each
other without condition, and act accordingly.”
Enjoy listening to this unique episode where we dive into nothingness so that something can emerge.

 
“The business of a witness, we might call it a listener as well, is really not to get in the way. And it starts with nothing, no- thing, no act on your part. And then let the experience just happen.” - Nic Askew



SUPERPOWER Notes:
 
02:39 - That moment he discovered the power of listening: Everything starts out of silence
 
11:10 - Expounding on the misconception about the nature of connectedness
 
16:06 - Giving yourself permission to simply be and embracing nothingness and just letting the experience happen
 
21:01: Getting to notice the experience of the absence of one's action: It sets a course of change which you can't unset.
 
28:53 - What it is like experiencing someone without doing anything
 
37:47 - How deep listening happens from a clear space 
 
41:25 - Personal experiences of having something emerge out of doing nothing
 
46:15 - The simplicity of being present and the potential for profound change that arises from this state.
 
55:26 - Connect with Nic Askew



Key Takeaways:
 
"The experience of this person, the experience of anyone you care to sit with or be with is best finding you, not you it." - Nic Askew
 
"Connectedness just exists. It's there to be experienced. And the way to experience it is nothing in the way." - Nic Askew
 
"Most people, I think, are driven by this deep sense of wanting to belong, wanting to be a part of it. And it drives us to pretty much live our lives doing certain things But the irony is that in the
realm of the interior world, there is no working towards. Only "Just IS". You are just a part of it. We are connected. You belong. There was never any condition." - Nic Askew
 
Notes/Mentions:
 
Albert Einstein:  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Einstein
Ramana Maharshi: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramana_Maharshi
 
Connect with Nic Askew:
 
Website: https://soulbiographies.com/about/
                          https://nicaskew.com/
 
Connect with Raquel Ark:
 
www.listeningalchemy.com
Mobile: + 491732340722
contact@listeningalchemy.com 
LinkedIn
Podcast email: listeningsuperpower@gmail.com

It's easy to lose touch with our true selves in a world that constantly bombards us with external noise and expectations. We often find ourselves seeking validation and approval from others, forgetting that the most important voice to listen to is our own.
Revealing our identities and embracing our unique qualities can be a transformative experience. It's about recognizing that we don't need to add anything or strive to be something we're not. We already are 100% enough, just as we are. 
So why do we hesitate? Why do we hold back from presenting our authentic selves to the world? Perhaps it's the fear of judgment or the belief that we're still lacking in some way. But the truth is, we don't need anything else. We have everything we need within us to shine brightly.
Dr. Katja Brunkhorst is a Human Disco Ball, with the following facets of serious serial expertise: Writer | Coach | Yoga Teacher | Punk Rock Philosopher | Personal Branding Strategist | Founder of Bright Idea, the agency for authentic communication & creative consulting. Her zone of genius is short-form poetic profitable prose for women entrepreneurs who want to move the world with moving words.
In this episode, Katja helps us explore the power of self-listening and the journey towards self-acceptance. Embark on a path of self-discovery, where you'll learn to trust yourself, honor your truth, and live authentically.
"Trust yourself; listen to yourself from the beginning, because, otherwise, you'll just spend your whole professional career trying to get rid of unnecessary layers." - Katja Brunkhorst
 
SUPERPOWER Notes:
00:44 - That moment she discovers the power of listening: In my family, I very much remember not being listened to; the realization that people need to listen to each other for the world to thrive. 
02:13 - How her experience of not being listened to made her hide her true self
05:39 - The empowering spirit that comes when you feel listened to even when you are silent
06:16 - How two people can connect deeply, not necessarily verbally: Making music with other people, through the sounds, I think you can communicate and hear each other on a deeper level.
08:18 - Attributing to the sound side of yoga in finding her new identity: To sing a mantra together, combining it with a certain intention, and sometimes as simple as just a certain hand movement.
11:37 - Experiencing the fear of not being listened to
14:02 - Discussing the case of a “not listening mom”: The trick is to try and let go of that good girl, people-pleasing, perfectionist side.
16:41 - How to start listening: Listen to yourself.
21:12 - Writing techniques to get you into the natural flow of doing it
23:35 - Another writing technique she recommends: Recollection in Tranquility
30:35 - A mantra you can use cutting through the fear of not being promoted or not being seen and appreciated for your good deeds
34:07 - One significant melodious message Katja shares: Follow the joy.
 
Key Takeaways:
"The voice is the most personal part of us; there resides your personality." - Katja Brunkhorst
"To be really able to listen, you have to have someone who is very safe and secure in themselves." - Katja Brunkhorst
"Listen to yourself. In order to write well, and write copy or books or any sort of text that connects, you need to first connect with you again." - Katja Brunkhorst
"My claim has always been revealing identities. I don't want you to add anything that you think you're still missing or think you're still not good enough."  - Katja Brunkhorst
"This is a message from a Yoga philosophy, "You are exactly as you are; already 100% enough." - Katja Brunkhorst
“You can just be you and literally present that to the world. You don't need anything else. This is going to make your life much, much easier and your success to come along much, much, much faster. Other than spending the rest of your life unlearning and stripping off and revealing." - Katja Brunkhorst
Note