Talking Like A Teen Talking Like A Teen

When I suggested to Adrian that we should once again turn our shared suffering into Capital-C Content and talk about Mass Effect: Andromeda, we had the normal boring calendar convos that come with any adult trying to interface with another adult in Late Stage Capitalism. We scheduled a record time like normal. Didn’t expect it to go for almost five hours. Boy, were our faces tired after we were done. (Get it? Like the meme?) This line bothers me, rough facial animations aside because this is not a thing. It’s not a colloquialism. It’s a weird line that I don’t understand. In a dialogue-heavy video game like this, where tens of thousands of lines, not every line is a winner for sure, but I just keep thinking about it. Is it supposed to be exhausted rambling? A bad joke, referencing something Ryder says earlier in the conversation? A metaphor for masking or maybe professionalism? Does it matter what I think? Maybe it’s a good line and brainface is tired. Maybe now the five hour record time makes a bit more sense. There’s just a lot here to unpack. So. Enjoy the first part of our face-tiring journey.

Hi! Hello! So originally I was gonna write a version of the song from “We’re Back: A Dinosaur Story” but like…the vast majority of you don’t know that song or probably that movie. John Goodman sings. It’s a whole thing. But the kids today have their Dreamworks and their Disneys and before Dreamworks was riding high on money made from Shrek memes and people paying to not see that Will Smith fish face ever again, those animators worked for Amblin Entertainment making, among other things, this absolutely wild animated movie about dinosaurs and museums and bluebirds and a guy (spoilers) being EATEN ALIVE BY CROWS IN A CHILDREN’S MOVIE. The kids in the movie are wild–one is this little tough guy who sounds like an extra in the “Bing Bong” tiktok (I’ll link it below) and the other kid is just Daisy Buchanan voiced by Lisa Simpson (no, it’s the same voice actor and I just spend the entire movie waiting for her to start screaming at Bing Bong to quit it). Julia Child voices a scientist named Dr. Bleeb (I don’t know why but this last name sends literal shivers down my spine) and Jay Leno voices an alien and John Goodman as a dinosaur keeps doing this impression of a scientist who is voiced by Walter Cronkite and it’s all like…very well done but totally unhinged? Not to mention the plot of this thing which is Gwen Stefani levels of bananas and the more I talk about this more this might actually be an episode, so...forget that you read this because I might reuse these jokes. Anyway, “We’re Back: A Dinosaur Story” is a cinematic masterpiece and this episode is also a masterpiece and a celebration of two dinosaurs coming back from the dead to…um…go to the Museum of Natural History. (So sue me, the metaphor isn’t 1:1.)

It’s End-Of-Year playlist tiiiiiiime! I almost just sent this, but I feel like Adrian might be mad. So. Let’s empty my brain,shall we? Right now it’s just Stardew Valley and “Yule Shoot Your Eye Out”, so…let’s do a Stardew 12 days of Christmas. I got this: For the Feast of the Winter Star, my true love sent to me / Twelve marriage candidates / Eleven potluck soup ingredients / Ten triple espressos consumed / Nine moonlight jellies / Eight friendship hearts / Seven spicy eels while mining / Six hidden colored eggs / Five ancient fruit seeds / Four singing mermaids / Three blue chickens / Two dino eggs / And a golden pumpkin for spirit’s eve

On this episode of Talking Like A Teen, we are literally rushing back into our past to check out an episode of Adrian Has Issues from 2018, a year before this podcast would debut, to hear its proto beginnings. The kernel of this show is present here: snotty music chatter, crabbing about how the NHL is terrible and yet we love it, shit talking and general…us…ness. It’s a fun look back. But as this episode is being released around Thanksgiving, this episode did make me thankful for a few things that have changed since 2018: 1) I bought a podcasting mic and no longer just shout in the general direction of my laptop. 2) The Blackhawks are bad now and the NHL isn’t actively using Patrick Kane’s dumb face to try to sell professional hockey. 3) I’d love to say that Kid Rock has shown any sort of growth or remorse since this, but I don’t think he has, so…I’m thankful I blocked him on twitter? 4) You. Yes, you. Thanks for listening and reading these goober descriptions. 3

On this special episode of Conversing with an Adult, Ashley and Adrian come together to celebrate the most holy of TLAT holidays: N7 Day! They pulled out a Prothean relic from Adrian’s podcast “Adrian Has Issues” – an interview they did a couple of years ago with Mass Effect protagonist FemShep voice actor Jennifer Hale! Jennifer Hale talks about recording her first audiobook, making music, and the importance of voting in our current political hellscape. (Midterms are this week, so the message still stands–go vote, if you’re able.) So, respectfully, please check out the episode. This One hopes you enjoy it!

I had like three really grandiose plans for this write up that I banged my head against for awhile before giving up and well…here we are, another one of these stream of consciousness write ups again because none of those really panned out. So, essentially, on this episode of Talking Like A Teen, we tasked ourselves with building Halloween inspired playlists that we exchanged. We analyzed them, we had some laughs, made some references, all that. It’s a good one. Better than this write up. I promise I’m not being lazy. I think I used all my brain power on the last one. (which is a masterpiece, if I may say so myself. Am I allowed to say that? Welp. I’ve already said it, so….) So, I guess in closing, this episode is great and you should listen to it, no matter how lame the write up is.