Human Nurture humannurture

Dear Colleague-
I hope this finds you well. I’m writing to share an exciting resource and ask for feedback. 
As  you know, I’ve produced a podcast for a number of years. I’ve recently recorded the first of a series of interviews with my longtime mentor, Hans Stahlschmidt, PhD. Hans is a true master of the craft of psychotherapy and part of the PACT Core Faculty. In addition to Hans being able to fluently translate PACT ideas about secure functioning, he has developed his own set of ideas about the therapeutic process that I am so excited to share.
Over the course of a few interviews, I am wanting to capture Hans’s ideas, attitude and approach to being a therapist and the practice of psychotherapy. My hope is that you will listen to this introductory interview and provide some feedback. Also, feel free to email me jason@jasonbrand.com
 
CLICK HERE FOR FEEDBACK FORM
You can watch the interview by CLICKING HERE.
 
Thank you!
Jason Brand, LCSW
 

Hello there. We have arrived at the final episode of Season 2 of Human Nurture. I'm Jason Brand, your host, a PACT level 3 therapist out of Berkeley, California. What a journey this has been— pandemic, shelter in place, tele-health, three couples and a whole lot of consultant interviews… AND… we made it.
I’ve got a great final episode for you. Krista Jordan, PhD joins me. Krista was the perfect consultant match for Charley and Yael. Like Charley and Yael, Krista threw her whole self into the process. I love her basic philosophy, “that all humans are imperfect, but that we can grow and change in deep and profound ways given adequate support and guidance”. She’s not afraid to point out areas where growth is necessary and she is so good at providing support and guidance. She’s out of Austin Texas, she’s has a PHD in clinical psychology, I really enjoyed working with her to craft the episode and having the opportunity to sit down and talk shop. I can’t think of a better final interview for the season.

Hello and welcome to the final half of the final clinical interview of this season of Human Nurture. I’m Jason Brand, this season has been a deep dive into “How does a couples therapist learn to do that?!?” I’ve been answering it along with 3 wonderful couples and whole lot of consultants. 
Okay, without further ado, the second half of the Charley and Yael final clinical interview.
 
 

Hello and welcome to The Human Nurture Podcast. I am your host Jason Brand, a couples therapist living and working in Berkeley, California. This season we have been asking the question, “How does a couples therapist learn to do that?!?” And we are down to the final couple and the final clinical interview of this season.
Back again with Charley and Yael in their final clinical interview. They are a young couple and they have now become familiar enough with themselves and their relationship to see areas where they're not able to depend upon each other for a sense of safety and security. 
For Charley, this insecurity can be heard in his difficulty knowing how much to hold emotion inside of himself and his worries and frustrations about flooding Yael with his emotion. And in Yael, it can be heard in the way she comforts Charley but feels she does not get enough comfort from him in return. 
In this interview you will hear a great example of two people who so want to be able to take care of each other but keep getting left with a basic sense of unfairness in their interactions. The work of couples therapy is to help them with the growing up process, understanding and translating the burdens of the past and having a more honest and vulnerable discussion of the burdens of their current life situation.  So let’s take a listen as I work to help this young couple to seize moments where they can hold the challenges and burdens together and hold them as opportunities to build closeness, safety and security.

Hi there. Welcome to Human Nurture. I'm your host Jason Brand a practicing couples therapist in Berkeley, California. 
This season of the podcast, what I've been doing is answering the question-- "How does a couples therapists learn to do that?" And I'm answering that question through actual couple interviews and then follow up interviews with consultants who help me to think through what happened in the room between me and that couple.
Today, we've got a consultation session with my colleague and mentor Patricia Hart.   
"We say in PACT, we're working on the relationship, right? Our job is the relationship, but of course, in order to have a couple of relationship there's important individual growth that goes with it. 
I have to be able to manage myself so that I can manage you and I have to be able to know what it is that I need from you and then I have to be able to ask for what I want. [So] I can be the person who can go after what I want, including in a relationship. And then also know about that well enough, so I can put [it] aside and deal with you.
So you know this developmental step of a two person psychology, which is necessary for a relationship? [It] requires a lot of individual growth. It seemed to me that's a lot of what you were doing with [Charley and Yael in this session]"
That is a quote from the interview that you're about to hear. It captures, the support that she gave me, the overall framework and an understanding of what I was up to in the session. So helpful. 
So who was Patricia Hart? Patricia's a long time Berkeley therapist with 40 years of experience. She's a PACT instructor, she's just wonderful with couples and she's a wonderful consultant. So, take a listen. Patricia Hart PhD and me talking about Charley and Yael. Thanks so much for tuning in 
 

Hi, welcome to Human Nurture. I'm your host Jason Brand, couples therapists out of Berkeley, California. This is the second half of the second couple clinical interview with Charley and Yael in my office.  
So we pick the interview up at the point where Charley's describing the bind he finds himself in when he gets angry during conflicts with the Yael. He wants to communicate his frustrations so he can feel better and they can work conflicts out together, however, if he gets to fiery his delivery, Yael's only able to hear the anger and not the pain underneath. Charley fear's that tamping down his anger runs the risk of  losing his voice. (You will also remember, from the beginning of the interview, that Charlie feels that Yael does not do her internal work.) So from Charley's point of view, Yael gets overly focused on Charley's anger and does not look at her part in the conflict.  That leaves him as the only one who sees the challenge and is trying to process it.   He's left with a terrible choice, speak up in a way that alienates him from Yael or being heard in a way that does not address the injustice that he sees in the situation. This, you will hear has deep historical roots with his family and with his mom in particular and he also worries that it runs the risk of alienating him in the future from his daughters.
So, we pick it up at the bind. Charley and Yael interview 2 part 2 here we go.