Doomsday: History's Most Dangerous Podcast Brad Choma

The Cleveland Balloonfest Disaster of 1986 | Episode 69
Balloons often represent happiness, but if you’ve ever had to explain to a crying child why their balloon flew away and won’t be coming back, you know that balloons are monsters.

On this new and much requested episode: you’ll learn the origin of the phrase, “it seemed like a good idea at the time”; we learn why Cleveland is called the Mistake by the Lake, and we’ll see what is probably the most amount of damage one could possibly hope to achieve with balloons.

And if you are thinking of listening to this as a Patreon supporter, for the first time ever, there are TWO ENTIRE MINISODES within this episode that no one else will get to hear

The first on the Cuyahoga River Fire Disaster of 1969; and a second on the Cleveland 10¢ Beer Night Disaster of 1974. We also look at the horrible history of promotions and publicity stunts that backfired catastrophically; and we learned why you never fire guns.

About the actual main story here, we are definitely in a Cleveland state of mind, and I will tell you this one quote from the episode:

Literally no part of this came together like it was supposed to, and in keeping with Cleveland’s long habit of not having things go it’s way, one observer was quoted as saying “it's actually quite impressive how badly it turned out”. There are terrorist attacks that aren't as successful as balloon fest.


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Hello all. Welcome to the very first Doomsday Automotive Review segment. I’ve never done one of these before, and most importantly, I shouldn’t have to, but here we are.

It was originally released as part of bonus Patreon content, but I'm sharing it here with you now to buy me a few days to get the next episode together.

Since we originally brought it up, more Tesla Cybertrucks have wrapped around trees, smoked by semis, accidentally confusing the startup toggle for the self-destruct sequence. And apparently, the reason people are facing that five-hour restart time is because they activated car wash mode. Here’s the thing - as we said, you have to keep this thing as clean as hell - cleaner than anything else you own, and if you use it in a car wash without activating car wash mode - guess what happens? They void your warranty. Good thing no one who owns a Cybertruck needs to work - or they would be pretty fired for that kind of nonsense.

And the stock has continued to slump. Might have something to do with lying to shareholders about how many of these things they’ve actually sold. For clarification, they’ve sold less than half of what the original Back to the Future style Delorean did back in the day - and the Delorean is widely regarded a massive commercial flop.

Anyways I wanted to thank you all for listening. I’m sharing this with the bulk of my audience just because you deserve to be safe - physically and financially, and I am here for you. I’ll be back next week with an all new episode including two full minisodes inside the regular episode, special for my Patreon listeners.
 
I think getting episodes a little early with no sponsor interruptions and with additional, ridiculously interesting material in each new episode is worth it.   

If you agree, you can find out more at patreon.com/funeralkazoo
 
It would really help fulfill my dream of doing this full time. If you and a few thousand of your friends could spare a buck or two, you would really help keep the show – and frankly, me – alive
Also, send me your screams. I’m going to be holding 2024 auditions for future episode victims!

Fun fact: Airplane accidents have a 95.7% survivability rate, according to the US National Transportation Safety Board. This story actually has a 99.02% survivability rate – but those that do die – you might want to limber your neck, because you’re going to be shaking your head.

On this episode: you won’t learn to fly a plane but I will be able to teach you how not to fly one; we’ll learn what happens when you go skydiving at ground-level; and we’ll learn about a victim who was killed by her own rescuers - twice.

This story will showcase what became of a once proud company known for safety and innovation, and how they’ve become the laughing stock of airlines. Speaking of laughing, we’re also going to test your sense of humour in this one. For starts, yes, one of the victims has something unimaginable happen, and for no good reason - twice! And it’s not just the circumstances of the death that will get off to a weird start - it’s the media’s coverage of the event. I’ll tell you about that right at the end, and ho lee fuk is it a weird one.

Celebrity guests include: virtuoso and piano enthusiast, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart; nervous former pilot from Airplane: The Movie, Ted Striker; one-man anti-terrorist task force and movie star, John McClane; and a quick visit from professional worriers, Serena Williams and Tom Hanks.
And if you were a Patreon supporter, you would also enjoy an additional 12 minutes where we discussed:

•  Canada’s love/hate relationship with a retailer legally called Crappy Tire

•  how Boeing became such an absolute fart of a company

•  we recapped the beloved Christmas tale Die Hard 2

•  we explored the parallels between this disaster and Airplane: The Movie

•   and the world’s first safety segment within a safety segment where we cover what to do if you survive a plane crash and the universe tries to Final Destination you about it

If the idea of getting episodes a little early and ad-free with ridiculously interesting extra material strikes you as a good thing, you can find out more at:
 
www.patreon.com/funeralkazoo

All older episodes can be found on any of your favorite channels

Apple : https://tinyurl.com/5fnbumdw
Spotify : https://tinyurl.com/73tb3uuw
IHeartRadio : https://tinyurl.com/vwczpv5j
Podchaser : https://tinyurl.com/263kda6w
Stitcher : https://tinyurl.com/mcyxt6vw
Google : https://tinyurl.com/3fjfxatt
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Podchaser : https://tinyurl.com/263kda6w
RadioPublic : https://tinyurl.com/w67b4kec
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Deezer. : a href="https://tinyurl.com/5nmexvwt" target="_blank"...

With apologies for the absense of new material, I'm a bit under it and overwhelmed - not much unlike the passengers of the OceanGate Titan Submersible just under a year ago!

This is a piece of bonus content which I described as "a somewhat rushed minisode that once again turned out to be not so mini". It was based on the best evidence and understanding of events that was available at the time. I think I can safely say no much has changed since then, so I stand by it. 

I also stand by some substantially backed-up billionaire bashing.

I did my best to cut through the social media clutter and applied my own math as best I could - but the fact about this disaster is it is unprescidented. We're talking about physics and hydrodynamics at levels we have zero experience with, and no real way to test, or reason to try. So many things had to go wrong for this to happen, and I will happily singing-telegram-style deliver the blame directly to Stockton Rush's door.

In this new episode, you will learn:

•  Just how fascinatingly irresponsible Stockton Rush was

•  Why making fun of dead billionaires is good for you

•  Exactly how unbelievably nightmarish the last trip of the Titan was

There will be math and science and gelatinous goo, all for you my loyal listeners.

Speaking of Bonus Content. If the idea of getting episodes a little early and ad-free with ridiculously interesting extra material strikes you as a good thing, you can find out more at:

www.patreon.com/funeralkazoo

All older episodes can be found on any of your favorite channels

Apple : https://tinyurl.com/5fnbumdw
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IHeartRadio : https://tinyurl.com/vwczpv5j
Podchaser : https://tinyurl.com/263kda6w
Stitcher : https://tinyurl.com/mcyxt6vw
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If you like the idea of...

If you got something in your eye, you should rinse it with water or eye drops to try and wash it out. Fair warning: there is not enough over-the-counter eyedrops in the world that would help with today’s story.

On this episode: we’ll learn all the ways your car wants to kill you, we’ll learn which member of the original Thanksgiving feast ended up with their head on a pike for 25 years, and we’ll find out what happens when you play rock paper scissors bumper plow.
 
This is the first episode we’ve done where the site of the catastrophe later became an annual sporting event recreating the event. The Frank Rockslide Disaster of 1903 stands as one of the most devastating and tragic events in the history of Alberta and was claimed to be the worst disaster that has even befallen any community in Western Canada.

Celebrity guests include: my wife, aggrieved driver; highway enthusiast, Dwight D. Eisenhower;  historical revisionist, Abraham Lincoln;massacre enthusiast, Massachusetts Bay Governor, John Winthrop; and holiday-travel enthusiast, Dante of Dante’s Inferno fame.
 
And if you had been listening on Patreon, you would have enjoyed an additional 10.5 minutes where we discussed:

•  landing planes on highways

•  how bizarre the Mandela Effect is

•  we look at the weird, dark origins of Thanksgiving

•  we found out why TripAdvisor and Yelp reviewers hate Plymouth Rock

•  we look into why people suck at driving

•  and the history of the Cannonball Run

 
If the idea of getting episodes a little early and ad-free with ridiculously interesting extra material strikes you as a good thing, you can find out more at:
 
www.patreon.com/funeralkazoo

All older episodes can be found on any of your favorite channels
 
Apple : https://tinyurl.com/5fnbumdw
Spotify : https://tinyurl.com/73tb3uuw
IHeartRadio : https://tinyurl.com/vwczpv5j
Podchaser : https://tinyurl.com/263kda6w
Stitcher : https://tinyurl.com/mcyxt6vw
Google : https://tinyurl.com/3fjfxatt
Spreaker : https://tinyurl.com/fm5y22su
Podchaser : https://tinyurl.com/263kda6w
RadioPublic : https://tinyurl.com/w67b4kec
PocketCasts. : https://pca.st/ef1165v3
CastBox : https://tinyurl.com/4xjpptdr
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You ever wish you could just take all your worries and bury them away? Well have we got the episode for you…

On this episode: we’ll see what the loudest possible way to wake up is; we’ll learn how rocks can actually work better than scissors; and we’ll learn the three most powerful ways to eradicate evidence of, well, anything.

This is the first episode we’ve done where the site of the catastrophe later became an annual sporting event recreating the event. The Frank Rockslide Disaster of 1903 stands as one of the most devastating and tragic events in the history of Alberta and was claimed to be the worst disaster that has even befallen any community in Western Canada.

Celebrity guests include: miracle surfing baby, Gladys Ennis; billionaire playboy, C. Montgomery Burns; former Alberta Premier, Fred Haultain; torture marathoner, Sid Choquette; business magnate and former mayor of Butte Montana, Henry L. Frank; and his partner Samuel Wilford Gebo; Royal charter enthusiast, King Charles II of England; explorer and historical murder victim, Hudson; the 9th Duke of Argyll, John Campbell; doorag pioneer, Queen Victoria, and her daughter Princess Louise Caroline Alberta.

And if you had been listening on Patreon, you would have enjoyed an additional 15 minutes where we discussed:

• lawyers vs British bands

• we talked about how I used to write idiot letters to companies and the time I successfully conned an Industrial Spring company

• also the time it resulted in my being investigated as a possible threat to Canadian aviation

• the oldest companies in history

• the most powerful earthquake in Canadian history

• we spent some time on the Appalachian Trail hurting ourselves on the Mahoosic Notch

• looked at a town that will be on fire for the next few centuries

• and what happens when disaster tourism meets shotguns


If the idea of getting episodes a little early and ad-free with ridiculously interesting extra material strikes you as a good thing, you can find out more at:

www.patreon.com/funeralkazoo


All older episodes can be found on any of your favorite channels

Apple : https://tinyurl.com/5fnbumdw
Spotify : https://tinyurl.com/73tb3uuw
IHeartRadio : https://tinyurl.com/vwczpv5j
Podchaser : https://tinyurl.com/263kda6w
Stitcher : https://tinyurl.com/mcyxt6vw
Google : https://tinyurl.com/3fjfxatt
Spreaker : https://tinyurl.com/fm5y22su
Podchaser : https://tinyurl.com/263kda6w
RadioPublic : https://tinyurl.com/w67b4kec
PocketCasts. : https://pca.st/ef1165v3
CastBox : https://tinyurl.com/4xjpptdr
Breaker. : https://tinyurl.com/4cbpfayt
Deezer. : a href="https://tinyurl.com/5nmexvwt" target="_blank"...