Winging It Amy & Heather

We start by encouraging Amy on her final classes in Yoga Teacher Training over the next few weeks and discussing the feeling of knowing what we're doing versus learning more over time. Then we discuss our responsibility as teachers and workshop leaders for making sure our clients don't get hurt. Responsibility is a hard thing to carry. We have to trust our clients know how to work through things and handle their own bodies and the work they are doing. We just help create the healing space and give direction, but we have to trust you know what to do with your body as you work through the healing work.

Then we dive into discussing Fact and Opinion, especially around the current pandemic and wearing masks and trying to keep ourselves and others around us safe. Where is the guidance and leadership to actually lead the way? Many people are arguing their own opinions as truth. And this ties to Responsibility, too! We are Responsible for ourselves and for those around us - so how do you move in this world in a caring, compassionate, smart manner?

We argue that the people who are choosing to not wear a mask right now need to really look at their reasons - who are they really angry at? What is the point of yelling at or mocking others for taking care of themselves? Heather shares a moment from the grocery store where someone laughed at her while wearing a mask. (Heather does not care, Heather grew up in theatre.) But it still hit - why did this person choose to laugh? Amy shares her fears of interactions like these. Neither of us understand why others won't take the safety of others seriously.

Does this point to a bigger conversation, a bigger gap, a bigger divide between people? We hope not. We hope that this is just part of the conversation that people will have and that science and facts will take a stronger lead. We do chat about Faith and Facts for a bit as well. History has shown us that there are risks if we don't listen to science. Listening to each other needs to be part of the conversation, too.

We believe that we are stronger in community and when we focus on taking care of others and the earth. We acknowledge it's hard, but that it's also the responsibility of taking care of the planet and others in our lives. Compassion is stronger than fear. Leadership needs to be better guide and help remind us to do no harm and to help our neighbors.

We acknowledge it's hard, to go face our fears and be aware of being out with others right now. Amy references Dr. Seuss' Star Bellied Sneeches when it comes to masks. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sneetches_and_Other_Stories) Heather reminds us that we don't know what others are going through, and that we need to pay attention and be helpful to others.

How do we mitigate our own risks for ourselves and take care of those working hard right now? Yes, we get ranty about people who are being loud and obnoxious about health and safety. Amy talks about being brave and venturing out for a few errands. Her awareness of the people around her and taking care of her and her families’ Mental Health and Physical Health does take so much energy right now.

Amy offers mini-meditations, used in Yoga to transtion from pose to pose, now used to transition from location to location. These moments of re-centering and breathing means we have to check in more often and can't run on auto-pilot, but it takes more energy to navigate the world this way. It's baby steps to be in the world in a safe way again.

Winging It The Podcast is going to take a break for a couple of weeks to take care of some of our own family and home needs, and we'll start recording and scheduling new episodes again soon. Until then, take care of your Mental Health and be aware that many people around you may need help taking care of theirs as well. Be...

The stigma of Mental Health is still all around us. We feel the supposed shame and even choose to not talk about it at times ourselves. We'd like to keep breaking that attitude down.

Seeing and acknowledging the approaches to Mental Health in our own families and family line, helps the conversation for us and for our children and others in our lives. From "nerve pills" to Xanax, we discuss the things that affect our bodies and lives for several generations. Engaging in conversations with those around us helps us develop better coping skills. Amy's daughter recommends searching out a Spotify App called Daily Wellness at https://open.spotify.com/playlist/37i9dQZF1EFwIFWJQozmXp?si=amBBoj5zQBSPNZV0-fJqeQ .

With the current pandemic situation, we're applying the skills we've learned to be able to handle what we have to deal with now. Amy's conversations with her daughter show how we can apply the communication skills and learn to discuss what we're really feeling. Heather shares about going to a Strong Bonds (https://www.strongbonds.org) event for military couples and learning about the Five Love Languages (https://www.5lovelanguages.com) and the Speaker-Listener techniques (https://www3.nd.edu/~pmtrc/Handouts/Speaker_Listener_with_Example.pdf) for communicating in her relationships and in life.

Sometimes the gorgeous front yard hides the rocks and weeds in the backyard. What do we show off, show to our neighbors and family, and what do we take care of for ourselves? The stigma is pervasive. Even in the Military. There are some commanders who encourage taking care of their Mental Health in their Soldier's lives, and there are some who still deny it and try to cover it up. *

*Extra note from Heather: "This article by Nate Dinger for Medium points out the need for acceptance and treatment for our Military. The author is a friend, and is an excellent example of a Commander who leads with understanding." - https://medium.com/@natedanger/stigma-ptsd-and-addiction-the-importance-of-treatment-support-and-acceptance-531d4e306683

The current pandemic is creating a level of trauma and frustrations for many, so remember you are not alone. It will not be this way forever.

Amy believes that part of the problem is when we believe our Mental Illness doesn't allow us to trust our own minds. We may not want to admit that we're out of control of our minds. Heather associates that to a sprained ankle (it sorta makes sense), but we have to learn to trust ourselves and heal our bodies so we can keep going.

Medication can help correct brain chemistry, and this is a partnership and awareness between you and your therapist to find the prescription that fits for you. Using medication can help balance the chemistry inside and allow us to focus on meditation or other work to keep bettering ourselves. In this day and age, there is constant influence from the world around us. And we acknowledge that not everyone will have these impacts or will others react the same way to an event.

We both note that when we're in the middle of a depressive episode, we don't want to reach out, we don't want to engage. This can be a signal for our friends to pay attention and be able to help us, and note that it "it's hard to ask for help when you're in it." Make a therapist appointment in the clear moments and take care of yourself when you can.

There is no immediate fix, no easy button. Even starting medication can take a bit of time for your system to adjust, and for your own body to find what works,...

We had a couple of technical and recording issues today, so this episode has some cuts and edits in between all the random parts of the conversations. Mother's Day has some powerful feelings and stress around it for many people. We dive right into discussing the pain and issues that old wounds bring up for us, about fitting into a perfect label. Talking about the fears and our feelings of worth is a part of this.

Sometimes these feelings and traumas cut across generations, and shapes up that we need to work on ancestral healing and Healing the Mother Wound. Heather recommends Pixie Lighthorse's workshops at: https://www.pixielighthorse.com/transforming-mother-wound/

Amy recommends "So You Think You're Intuitive" Podcast at: https://natalie-miles.com/podcasts/ Heather also recommends Mark Wolynn's "It Didn't Start With You" (https://www.markwolynn.com/book/)for working through family history and traumas.

We're working on Listening and Facing Fears right now, working through the feelings and situations around us. We've made it through the "unknown" so far, and are using the things we've learned to help ourselves and our own mental health. We've both recently picked up Glennon Doyle's Untamed (https://untamedbook.com) and Amy highly recommends the daily conversations Glennon holds online.

Amy shares a moment that Heather asked about a specific pain and how she dealt with it. Sometimes, if you can find the part of your body that feels the actual pain, then maybe that helps you to tune in to what's really going on. Our bodies tell us - headaches, gut-punches, bone-tired - how do you listen to your body?

As human beings, feelings roll through us all day long. Why do we expect to always be happy or expect those around us to only be one emotion? Why do we apologize for saying "I'm having a hard time right now."? We both note that bullet journaling is not a fit for us because we can't just narrow it down to one feeling all day.

Next we talk about chickens and chicken life, and how we're drawn to the winged creatures in our life. To wrap up today's chat, Amy talks about needing to make wax for her chalk painting line of waxes and paints, currently on sale at Gatherings in Georgetown. It's a multi-faceted conversation all around!

We thought that making it to Episode 13 was a good excuse to chat about our own inner guidance and intuition. When things happen, or we notice things, are they signs or just coincidence? We think it depends on how you interpret them, what the sign means to you. Is it confirming something for you or challenging you to look at something in a new way?

When we're paying attention, we notice numbers, like 1111 or 222 or 1234 in our daily lives. In nature, when we sit still, we can see nature moving all around us. Our intuitions kick in when we meet a someone new, giving us feedback on if they are a person we want to get to know better and be around, or if they are a person we don't want to be around at all.

And, that gives us a pause to think about our own vibes we're putting out. What do we see in others and what do others see in us? There are things that we feel guide us, and keep us grounded, like art, like yoga, like meditation, like writing. People who know us understand, but others may not, and we may not feel strong enough to share all of us with the rest of the world.

Talking to nature, looking for signs, and sharing what we learn along the way - like when Heather shares what she learned about the term "knock on wood." What superstitions or signs do we hold on to or use because of how we were raised or our culture, or because of our own experiences? The signs in our lives matter to us, but may not make any sense to anyone else, and that's okay.

Many of us feel we receive signs from loved ones who have passed, so those interpretations are up to us. Learning to listen to our own intuition and trusting our own inner voice is the deeper connection and answer we need when we need it. Your Heart knows the answers to any question you ask.

Some of the tools we've used are Rune stones, Tarot cards, interpreting Dreams, symbolic Writing, and just observing Nature. Our best connections come from observing and listening and just *knowing* when something feels right. Sometimes this energy feels primal, and sometimes it feels like flowing in a spiral, where we sense more than just what we hear or see.

Watching the trees wave on the wind, we discuss the current Coronavirus and awareness that it spreads via the air. Nature has far deeper conversations than us humans are privy to, and we know it.

To wrap it up, find ways to listen and observe your world around you more. Trust the things you sense, even if they feel silly at first. Only you can interpret the signs meant for you.

The Stages of Grief are listed as Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance - and there is no clear cut path through them, as we often go back and forth or between stages. During the current Coronavirus Pandemic, many are grieving their previous way of life and it feels like we're losing some of what we're used to.

At first, it feels like we've lost a freedom to make our own choices, but when we discuss it further, our choices have just changed. Heather chooses to continue to stay inside to avoid transmission, as well as making end-of-life decisions now just in case, but she wants the peace of mind in making her own choice if she were to get sick and end up in the hospital. Instead of protesting for the choice to go out, we need to be aware that it's fear of death and denial or anger at the changes, and look to compassion and acceptance and make plans instead of blame.

Amy discusses taking a hard look at the anger and where it surfaces for each of us during this time. Are there past triggers that need to be sorted out? The overall grief now is different from direct loss of a loved one, and we acknowledge that, but humans across the globe are processing these emotions together now. Are we feeling Angry at the world or ourselves? Are we dealing with Depression? Even those of us who have dealt with Depression and Anxiety for years, this is different.

We remind ourselves that the current mental load is still pretty heavy - there is still work to be done and we have to take care of the things in our daily lives that demand our attention. This "pause" in time is not just a "snow day", we still have to slog through the things that need to be taken care of, and be aware that we need to do things safely so we don't get hurt and end up in a hospital at this time anyway!

We look around and see what others are accomplishing during this time, and yes, sometimes we still feel like we're not doing enough or doing the same things as others. This is another reminder to *not* compare - we all have skills and offer different things to this world. We'd like to look toward community, communication, and cooperation instead of competition and conflict as we all move forward.

Instead of comparing ourselves to others and their level of accomplishments, we recognize we don't know what others are going through or how they process their emotions or their time in this situation. Telling ourselves we "should" do something does not help. Be able to say "It Is What It Is." right now, and accept this moment as it is. Someone else may be going through Bargaining or Denial or Anger but be producing good work. We only know our own moment and how we are dealing with it.

Heather discusses the loss of a family member a few months ago versus the grief of the current situation. And then looking at her own Depression days and determining if it's related to the pandemic or her own history. Amy reminds us that if we've dealt with Depression in the past, then our body is used to that response, creating neural pathways much like ruts in a dirt road. (We grew up in parts of Texas where dirt roads are normal driving.) She indicates the Yoga term "Samskara" where things go along where they are used to going. These cues in our body from past experiences can be because of past trauma, even if they don't make sense now. Our body tries to protect us, like "Fight or Flight" response, even if there is no immediate threat. Recognize your own self-talk and be aware of your own responses so you can be in the moment, even if it's scary.

Saying "It Is What It Is" is part of the acceptance. Heather mentions the fact that the current situation has aggravated her disordered eating patterns. She's dealing with her health issues and fear/anxiety around food in this time when shopping and food options are limited. Amy discusses her past traumas flaring up around money and anger and fear, even now...

What is Faith to you? Religion and how we were raised factors in so much for our lives. It may be God, Goddess, a Higher Power, the Universe, or Mother Nature. From the Church and organized religion, to Paganism or Earth Medicine, we discuss the broad spectrum that we've lived through and studied for ourselves.

Everyone can and does have a different experience of/with God. Amy discusses her upbringing in a Christian church and the empowerment of rehab and AA to allow her relationship with God to be one that works for her. Heather discusses her upbringing in a Christian church and her approach to learning and connecting with Nature for her spiritual needs.

Faith can help us get through the rough patches, but is that faith placed in someone else "speaking for God" or is that faith in ourselves being able to navigate the changes? Is the God we believe in one who sits up on a cloud or smacks us when we misbehave? Or is the God we believe in seen in the acts all around us? Maybe Faith means believing it will all work out as it should, not that God will take care of you because you have Faith.

Science has shown us more of what our world holds, so we no longer believe in a "mysterious ether" to cause illness, we can identify the virus. Science is still figuring things out, but as a species, we still attribute the unknown to a Higher Power.

Amy refers to Julia Cameron (The Artist's Way- https://juliacameronlive.com/the-artists-way/) and her view of God as "Good Orderly Direction" as Heather discusses the pattern of molecules becoming life as it is.

We have a hope that the things we learn now will help us move forward and filter out the yuck and the noise. We're looking for good information, leadership, and things or people we can trust right now. As a species, we thought we were superior, but this virus has kicked that attitude. So how to we cling to the basis of our Faith in times like this?

Does it all just come down to just having Faith in this moment, this present moment, right now? Yes, our life could and will probably change. From Buddhism to AA to many other practices and approaches: the only moment is this one right now. Whatever works for the moment. If whatever you're grasping right now isn't working for you, then know there are other options

We say, as long as your Faith or Religion does not cause harm to others, then believe what works for you. And remember, don't do harm to yourself either, based on a belief or religion. Don't add the layer of bringing shame to your God. If your Faith makes you feel worthless or beats up your self-esteem, then maybe find a different thing to believe in. We believe, and choose to believe, there are good people and good things in this world. That's what we have Faith in.