Reels of Justice Reels of Justice

This week, the court learns what it sounds like when doves fry as D-Rok Schlender (“Schlender 5 Productions/Trailer Trash’d”) attempts to woo the jury with his defense of the 1996 action film “Broken Arrow.” *** Prosecutor: Dylan J. Schlender. Defense: D-Rok Schlender. Judge: The Honorable Maynard Bangs. Jurors: Ryan Luis Rodriguez, Maynard Bangs, Big Ben Haslar. *** Advisory: Silvana Carranza. Prologue: Kirk R. Thatcher. Original Theme: WT Golden.

Justice ain’t never had a friend like Bouncin’ Bobby LePire (“Film Threat”), who crash-lands his egg-shaped spaceship in the court this week to argue the better “evil” Robin Williams movie: 2002’s “One Hour Photo” or 2002’s “Insomnia.”  *** “One Hour Photo”: Bouncin’ Bobby LePire. “Insomnia”: Maynard Bangs. Judge: The Honorable Dylan J. Schlender. Jurors: Ryan Luis Rodriguez, Dylan J. Schlender, Big Ben Haslar. *** Advisory: Silvana Carranza. Prologue: Kirk R. Thatcher. Original Theme: WT Golden.

The court hopefully chooses wisely this week when our idol The Vern (“Cinema Recall” Podcast) throws himself at us in defense of the 2023 adventure film “Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny.” *** Prosecutor: Big Ben Haslar. Defense: The Vern. Judge: The Honorable Ryan Luis Rodriguez. Jurors: Ryan Luis Rodriguez, Dylan J. Schlender, Maynard Bangs. *** Advisory: Silvana Carranza. Prologue: Kirk R. Thatcher. Original Theme: WT Golden.

This week, the court takes another stab at Funny Tom Hanks when girl-next-door Divinity Rose (“She Dreams Content”) sticks up for the 1989 horror comedy “The ‘Burbs.” *** Prosecutor: Dylan J. Schlender. Defense: Divinity Rose. Judge: The Honorable Big Ben Haslar. Jurors: Ryan Luis Rodriguez, Maynard Bangs, Big Ben Haslar. *** Advisory: Silvana Carranza. Prologue: Kirk R. Thatcher. Original Theme: WT Golden.

This week, the court finds out if the house really always wins when Brian Levine (“Pipes Magazine Radio Show”) bets it all on black as he defends the 1997 comedy “Vegas Vacation.” *** Prosecutor: Dylan J. Schlender. Defense: Brian Levine. Judge: The Honorable Maynard Bangs. Jurors: Ryan Luis Rodriguez, Big Ben Haslar, Maynard Bangs. *** Advisory: Silvana Carranza. Prologue: Kirk R. Thatcher. Original Theme: WT Golden.

This week, the court returns the gift of fire (we kept the receipt) while Ethan Ireland (“The Cinemania Society Podcast”) gets chained to a rock for eternity, defending the 2012 sci-fi horror film “Prometheus.” *** Prosecutor: Big Ben Haslar. Defense: Ethan Ireland. Judge: The Honorable Maynard Bangs. Jurors: Ryan Luis Rodriguez, Maynard Bangs, Dylan J. Schlender. *** Advisory: Silvana Carranza. Prologue: Kirk R. Thatcher. Original Theme: WT Golden.