You Must Be Some Kind of Therapist Stephanie Winn

Today I welcome the esteemed Dr. Joseph Burgo to discuss the psychological crisis of males who find refuge in a trans identity. Along the way, we explore myriad contributing factors, from shame, narcissism, and autogynephilia; to rising rates of autism and unlimited access to increasingly obscene internet pornography; as well as gender roles, norms, expectations, and recent cultural shifts.

As we unravel the narratives of ex-military men and individuals in positions of power who transition, we uncover the complexities of idealization and devaluation in trans identification and the numerous parallels with personality disorder traits. How do societal norms and social justice narratives fuel the shallow idealization of the opposite gender?

We also touch on the challenges detransitioners face in therapy and the obstacles therapists encounter in providing effective care for individuals with gender ideation. How can therapists navigate the tense climate surrounding gender identity exploration? And what role should exploration of fantasies and projections play in understanding the complexities of gender distress? 

Joseph Burgo, Ph.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist and graduate psychoanalyst who has been practicing for more than 40 years. As a writer, he’s the author of several works of non-fiction bringing his insights and experience as a therapist to a popular audience, and his articles and commentary on the topics of shame and narcissism have appeared in the New York Times, the Washington Post, the Wall Street Journal, and most of the large news outlets online. In his private practice, he currently focuses on gender distress, and works with trans-identified adolescent boys, male detransitioners, and men who struggle with autogynephilia. He can be reached at joeburgo@gmail.com; find him on X @jburgo55; visit his website at AfterPsychotherapy.com; or view him in the documentary film of another former guest, Jennifer Lahl (from episodes 52 and 97), The Lost Boys: Searching for Manhood.

Dr. Burgo's books:
The Narcissist You Know: Defending Yourself Against Extreme Narcissists in an All-About-Me AgeWhy Do I Do That?: Psychological Defense Mechanisms and the Hidden Ways They Shape Our LivesShame: Free Yourself, Find Joy, and Build True Self-EsteemAll books mentioned on this podcast and written by my guests can be found at sometherapist.com/bookshop or by following the Amazon affiliate links. Thank you for purchases that support the show.

00:00 Start
[00:02:49] Autism diagnosis evolution.
[00:06:36] Psychology in developmental framework.
[00:08:02] Rise in autism due to screens.
[00:11:55] Shame and narcissism in youth.
[00:18:45] Shame defiance.
[00:21:03] Adolescence and privacy for development.
[00:25:37] Exploring views on pornography.
[00:29:36] Effects of intense porn consumption.
[00:32:55] Autogynephilia as narcissism and desire.
[00:37:40] Ex-military men and transgender identity.
[00:40:58] Grass is greener syndrome.
[00:46:03] Idealization and devaluation in identity.
[00:49:50] The impact of societal beliefs.
[00:52:17] Avoiding adult responsibilities.
[00:56:20] Emancipating children's decision-making.
[01:01:27] Detransitioning experiences.
[01:02:43] Detransitioning experiences and insights.
[01:08:15] Importance of finding healing relationships.
[01:10:15] Lack of ICD procedure codes for detransition.
[01:13:42] Self-care reminder.
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Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. Follow us on X @2022affirmation or Instagram at @affirmationgenera

In this rare solo episode, I delve into personal decisions that have recently shaped my career path, shedding light on the challenges and triumphs that have led me to where I am today, including the impact of stress on chronic illness, and the difficult choice to step back from therapy to prioritize my well-being. But why did I choose consulting over therapy? What drove me to specialize in helping parents Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria, and how has this decision influenced my consulting practice?

I explain the intricacies of my consulting work, from assisting ROGD parents to guiding individuals on self-expression journeys, as well as the core values that drive my practice, including a deep yearning for synchronicity and serendipity in a world dominated by asynchronicity. How do these values shape my approach to communication and expression coaching? And what role do they play in fostering connection and harmony in a world plagued by loneliness?

Join me on this introspective journey as I navigate the blurred lines between personal health, professional choices, and the pursuit of meaningful connections. Will my leap of faith into consulting lead to a balanced life, or will the uncertainties of radical self-employment prove too daunting? Tune in to explore the nuances of my career evolution, the essence of synchronicity, and the quest for authentic expression in a world filled with noise and disconnection.

 [00:00:00] Gender dysphoria as social contagion.
[00:03:55] Why I stopped doing therapy.
[00:08:43] Consulting in gender dysphoria.
[00:11:43] Consulting vs. Therapy Differences.
[00:15:24] Consulting ROGD parents.
[00:18:28] Coaching clients in personal expression.
[00:22:31] Balancing work and health.
[00:25:10] Core values and synchronicity.
[00:29:47] The gender crisis.

To support this show, please leave a rating & review on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe, like, comment & share via my YouTube channel. Or recommend this to a friend!
Learn more about Do No Harm.

Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST at EightSleep.com.
Take 20% off all superfood beverages with code SOMETHERAPIST at Organifi.
Check out my shop for book recommendations + wellness products.
Show notes & transcript provided with the help of SwellAI.
Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission.
Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care (our medical ethics documentary, formerly known as Affirmation Generation). Stream the film or purchase a DVD. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. Follow us on X @2022affirmation or Instagram at @affirmationgeneration.
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Is shame always destructive, or can it foster growth? Does being compassionate require that we affirm every belief or validate every emotion? When are psychiatric diagnoses helpful or harmful? Is it better to strive for race-awareness or a color-blind society? Should social norms be challenged or reinforced? What is the role of hope in fostering change? I’ve brought together several interesting guests from previous episodes to discuss these current debates at the intersection of psychology, philosophy, and culture.

Michael David Cobb Bowen is a Stoic writer, data engineer and author of the award-winning blog Cobb. He has been published in Newsweek and was a regular NPR contributor, host at Cafe Utne, founder of the Conservative Brotherhood, Rights Universal and Free Black Thought. His online writing projects on political, cultural and philosophical subjects reach back over 23 years. His latest project, Stoic Observations, can be found at mdcbowen.substack.com.  

Pamela Garfield-Jaeger is a licensed clinical social worker with over 20 years of experience in mental health. She had to drop out of full time work due to health issues and she was fired from her part-time per-diem position in 2021 due to COVID regulations. That emboldened her to become outspoken on issues plaguing the mental health system. Pamela has a new book, written for parents on the gender issue, A Practical Approach to Gender Distress.
thetruthfultherapist.org
Instagram @the.truthfultherapist
X @truththerapist
Substack Pam the Truthful Therapist

Soad Tabrizi is a licensed marriage and family therapist with a distinctive approach to therapy that combines deep philosophical inquiry with a steadfast commitment to a holistic health. Soad has a telehealth practice providing counseling around the world. 
Soad's counseling website
Conservative Counselors
Simpli Well
All social media @soadtabrizi

Books mentioned in this episode:
A Practical Approach to Gender Distress by Pamela Garfield-Jaeger
It's Me: A 30-Day Journal by Soad Tabrizi
Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters by Meg Meeker
Red, White, and Black: Rescuing American History from Revisionists and Race Hustlers by the Woodson Center

00:00 Start
[00:02:35] Pamela’s intro & latest book.
[00:06:02] Soad’s intro, projects & guided journal.
[00:09:48] Michaels’ intro, projects, race abolitionism & Free Black Thought.
[00:12:06] Personal deracination and mental health.
[00:15:55] Race as a social construct.
[00:19:43] Identity and cultural influences.
[00:25:05] Overcoming racial divides.
[00:29:53] Groupthink and social construction.
[00:32:16] Gender confusion and fears.
[00:35:56] Racial dynamics and societal impact.
[00:39:22] Society's Perception of Mental Health.
[00:42:48] Shame and societal behavior.
[00:45:52] Delusional beliefs in mental health.
[00:49:54] Losing the gift of praise.
[00:53:17] Lived experience.
[00:56:58] Parental involvement in child therapy.
[01:02:22] Challenging beliefs about gender.
[01:03:34] Mental health challenges in families.
[01:09:40] Mental health field reflections.
[01:12:21] Healing and mental health.
[01:18:29] A holistic approach to health.
[01:20:31] Marijuana and mental health.
[01:24:26] Marijuana and mental health.
[01:27:48] Hope and gratitude in discussion.
[01:33:32] Gender crisis and film.
[01:04:27] Taking care of yourself.


To support this show, please leave a rating & review on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe, like, comment & share via my YouTube channel. Or recommend this to a friend!
Learn more about Do No Harm.

Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST at EightSleep.com.
Take 20% off all superfood beverages with code SOMETHERAPIST at Organifi.
Check out my shop for book recommendations + wellness products.
Show notes & transcript provided with the help of SwellAI.
Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission.
Watch NO WAY BACK: Th

In what ways is gender ideology cult-like? What are its core foundational myths, and how can concerned citizens challenge them?
Today’s guest, Justine Deterling, founded the LGB watchdog organization Gender Health Query to create resources for parents and educators to address these concerns. In this episode, we discuss the cult-like dynamics of gender activism influencing young people's beliefs and behaviors, and debunk common myths that have insidiously crept into public education and other institutions.
We also touch on the role of mental health professionals in addressing the unique needs of the LGB community amidst the growing emphasis on TQ+ issues. In its quest to “affirm” the rainbow, has the counseling profession inadvertently harmed LGB people?
Justine Deterling is an LGB human rights activist with a focus on pediatric transition for gender dysphoria and its effects on youth of all orientations. She founded the medical and queer theory watchdog organization Gender Health Query in 2019, which provides extensive information on these subjects and whose members protest ideological “LGBTQ+” activists corrupting media, the health professions, and education. Gender Health Query members hope people will join them in sending the message opposing extremist gender activism is not “bigotry” but a sane response to overreach. They would like people to join them in opposing indoctrinating school children and teens into radicalization and unscientific worldviews around sex and gender. GHQ is part of a larger long-term goal to create an evidence-based, supportive organization focusing on the long-term well-being of LGB people and the wider society. Justine happily lives with her partner of 26 years.
Links:Gender Health QueryParent/Educator School ResourceX @justinedeterX @thehomoarchy Facebook @theh0moarchy
Previous episodes mentioned:98. Trans to Detrans: A Graphic Novel Journey from Self-Hate to Self-Compassion, with Nicolas Blooms
All books mentioned on this podcast can be found at https://sometherapist.com/bookshop
00:00 Start[00:01:37] Informational resource for parents[00:06:25] Culture war and mainstream media.[00:08:16] The dangers of demonizing others.[00:14:58] Gender Health Query.[00:17:13] Medicalization of children.[00:23:39] Abuse and its definition.[00:25:16] Cult dynamics in gender activism.[00:29:25] Gender identity in sports.[00:35:40] Egotheistic belief system.[00:36:23] Blasphemy and cult tendencies.[00:42:17] Gender dysphoria and mental health.[00:43:33] Gender activism and culture war.[00:47:29] Mental health professionals' focus shift.[00:51:57] Human nature and tribal thinking.[00:56:27] Mental health profession's impact.[01:00:34] Mental health profession concerns.[01:04:48] Detransitioning and psychology concepts.[01:07:08] Gender dysphoria and ego-dystonic denial.[01:10:57] The mental health profession's messiah complex.[01:16:37] Power dynamics in therapy.[01:19:24] Treating transgender surgeries as cosmetic.[01:21:49] Self-care and well-being.

To support this show, please leave a rating & review on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe, like, comment & share via my YouTube channel. Or recommend this to a friend!
Learn more about Do No Harm.

Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST at EightSleep.com.
Take 20% off all superfood beverages with code SOMETHERAPIST at Organifi.
Check out my shop for book recommendations + wellness products.
Show notes & transcript provided with the help of SwellAI.
Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission.
Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care (our medical ethics documentary, formerly known as Affirmation Generation). Stream the film or purchase a DVD. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. Follow us on X @2022affirmation or Instagram at @affirmationgeneration.
Have a question for me? Looking to go deeper and discus

Wise decision-making often requires that we grapple with notions of good and evil. Fields such as history, spirituality, philosophy, and psychology all help orient our moral compass. Yet despite so much access to information, today’s youth seem to lack the grounding principles needed to navigate life's challenges.

How is the modern world's existential crisis impacting today's youth? Today, returning guests and I unravel the connection between sensitivity, trauma, and the search for meaning. And what role does spirituality play in finding healing and purpose for those with unique sensitivities?

Uncover the hidden truths behind the gender industrial complex and its impact on mental health, as we question the narrative that permanent physical alterations can solve deeper psychological issues. How do unstable identities and the quest for belonging intersect with transgender ideation? Join us on this journey of self-discovery and introspection, where each revelation leads to more profound questions and a deeper understanding of the human experience. Tune in to unlock the mysteries of history, spirituality, and personal growth.

Kim O is a Relational Soul Coach, Author, & Resilience Cheerleader. Contact, workbooks, journals, free course of the month: https://linktr.ee/heartworku

Matt Osborne is a military historian and an accidental movement historian. @OsborneInk https://www.thedistancemag.com/

Benjamin “The Dream Wizard” Davidson is a psychological professional with over 20 years experience in mental health, offering eclectic dream analysis, editing historical dream literature, and sometimes playing video games, all for entertainment and educational purposes only. https://BenjaminTheDreamWizard.com

Books mentioned in this episode:
The Joy of Movement by Kelly McGonigal https://amzn.to/3PoNDx9Kim’s books:
What is Ego, by Kim O: https://amzn.to/46FoGE2Living in the Power of Your Energetic Signature, by Kim O: https://amzn.to/3S83GkZLove Cures Anxiety, by Kim O: https://amzn.to/3tFWnXDRoe the Rabbit Lost His Happy Hop: https://amzn.to/4cjLFrpI Want Prickles Too! https://amzn.to/3Tk43rCBenjamin’s books:
https://amzn.to/4agqG75
All books mentioned on this podcast can be found at sometherapist.com/bookshop or by following the Amazon affiliate links here. Thank you for purchases that support the show!

 00:00 Start
[00:02:53] Historian of ideas and religion.
[00:04:17] Modernity and spirituality crisis.
[00:10:06] Lack of challenge in modern lives.
[00:13:40] Dissociation and embodiment in spirituality.
[00:17:21] Pain perception and chronic conditions.
[00:20:10] Individual constitution and Ayurveda.
[00:23:12] Indigo Child concept.
[00:27:03] Spiritual experiences in punk rock.
[00:31:14] The draw of community.
[00:35:51] First principles and grounding principles.
[00:39:51] Spirituality and personal development.
[00:41:08] Highly sensitive nervous system.
[00:47:29] Borderline Personality Disorder and Identity
[00:50:50] Man-made horrors and consequences.
[00:54:19] The healthiest resolution to the trans question.
[00:57:58] Astral projection and dreams.
[01:02:12] Astral projection experience.
[01:04:06] Out of body experiences.
[01:07:32] Vivid encounters in dreams.
[01:13:45] Dreaming of public figures.
[01:16:50] Dream interpretation and magic.
[01:21:15] Exploring spiritual beliefs and afterlife.
[01:24:04] Dreams and technology in sleep.
[01:27:43] Dreams and screen time.
[01:29:31] Effects of technology on creativity.
[01:33:26] Life's joys and sorrows.
[01:37:38] The Gender Crisis.

To support this show, please leave a rating & review on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe, like, comment & share via my YouTube channel. Or recommend this to a friend!
Learn more about Do No Harm.

Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST at EightSleep.com.
Take 20% off all superfood beverages with code SOMETHERAPIST at Organifi.
Check out my shop for book recommendations + w

Gabrielle helped her daughter escape the cult. Now, as a Desistance Coach, she helps other parents find ways to reach their ideologically captured children too. Meanwhile, my career has taken a similar direction, as I’ve devoted a significant portion of my energy toward helping parents of youth with Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria (ROGD) as a communication skills consultant.

Today, we discuss the challenges parents face in today's school system, where Critical Race Theory has a divisive impact on diverse families such as Gabrielle’s; so-called “Social Emotional Learning” is antithetical to its name; and victim/oppressor narratives incentivize children to go to war with their own sexed bodies. What can parents do when their rights to protect their children are under attack?

Join us as we uncover the importance of trust in instincts and the power of nature in shaping a child's perspective. How can a change in environment and engaging in hands-on challenges help children build confidence and resilience? We discuss the regional differences in cultural norms, from the West Coast's liberal acceptance to New England's view of rebellion. And what about the rise of gender ideology in Christian homeschooling families in red states? Tune in to discover the impact of societal influences on our children's identities and the role of parents in guiding them through these turbulent times.
Gabrielle Clark fights indoctrination in the K-12 educational setting. Both her school aged children were affected by indoctrination in different ways. One harmed by CRT. One harmed by SEL. She fought back starting with CRT indoctrination. Her son was discriminated against at school. They filed the first federal lawsuit against indoctrination in America. 

While she was raising awareness about CRT, her daughter was socially transitioned through the SEL program. She organized a plan to facilitate a safe environment for her daughter to desist. The Affirming Reality methodology helps people parent their children into desistance.
Affirming Reality Connected (coming soon)Donate to Affirming Reality

Books mentioned in this episode:
Hold On To Your Kids by Gabor Maté and Gordon Neufeld

All books mentioned on this podcast can be found at sometherapist.com/bookshop or by following the Amazon affiliate links. either way your purchases help support the show. Thank you!

00:00 Start
[00:03:25] Fighting indoctrination in schools.
[00:06:12] Identity and mixed-race families.
[00:12:23] Social Transition Consequences
[00:14:47] Children's mental health struggles.
[00:19:47] Personality changes in youth.
[00:25:07] Benefits of Wonderment in Nature.
[00:28:06] Connecting with nature to heal.
[00:33:50] Identity and privilege realization.
[00:36:47] Building confidence through challenges.
[00:41:17] Challenges of being the opposite sex.
[00:42:46] Gender expectations and appearance.
[00:47:38] Regional cultural differences.
[00:52:31] Gender ideology in red states.
[00:55:04] Boundaries in parenting.
[01:00:18] Teaching priorities and character building.
[01:03:43] Unplugging for nature detox.
[01:09:30] Strategic Apologizing.
[01:11:32] Watchful waiting parenting advice.
[01:16:24] Pronouns as a gateway drug.
[01:19:48] Solution-focused approach for families.
[01:22:49] Self-care reminder.


To support this show, please leave a rating & review on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe, like, comment & share via my YouTube channel. Or recommend this to a friend!
Learn more about Do No Harm.

Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST at EightSleep.com.
Take 20% off all superfood beverages with code SOMETHERAPIST at Organifi.
Check out my shop for book recommendations + wellness products.
Show notes & transcript provided with the help of SwellAI.
Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission.
Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care (our medi