Disagree better Tammy Lenski

One of the best ways to increase emotional agility in conflict is to recognize and manage your conflict hooks.

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What we do immediately after we express empathy helps or hinders the connection and alignment we’re trying to build.

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How to skip the drama and the rumination and raise a concern so they’ll actually listen.

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It’s tempting to tell people what they should do. It feels efficient, and it makes us feel helpful and wise. When we replace telling with asking, we can do something more powerful and, ultimately, more satisfying: Help people illuminate what’s important and generate effective solutions to problems.

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My newsletter, Disagree Better, turns 25 this month. I’m marking the milestone with 25 ways to disagree better from a wide array of thinkers.

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One reason agreements and solutions fail is that they don’t sufficiently identify and address the root causes of the problem. Another is that they address behavioral elements of the conflict without also addressing systemic elements that drive the behavior. The Relationship Diagram is an excellent tool for overcoming both of these problem-solving hurdles.


Relationship diagram demo (video)
Episode transcript
Frame a solvable problem

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