Nothing kills the mood like discussing money issues but as much as we don’t want it to be a reality, money is a significant aspect of relationships. If a couple isn’t on the same page financially, you can almost guarantee a bumpy road ahead. There are countless studies that demonstrate money related issues being a major source of divorce and most of these issues aren’t tactical differences, they’re rooted in emotions.
This conversation today is about creating a common bond around money with your partner and there is no better person to join me in this discussion than my friend, Ed Coambs.
Ed is a financial therapist. He helps couples create collaborative conversation. His understanding of attachment theory, relational building, and financial planning gives him a unique skill set to serve couples looking to work towards financial intimacy.
Most of our conversation will center around his book, The Healthy Love & Money Way, which dives into the four attachment styles that impact your financial well-being.
Even if you aren’t in a committed relationship right now, this is a great conversation to help you understand how your childhood affected your relationship with money. At the end of this conversation, we’ll also get into the juicy topic of what to do when there are salary differences in the relationship.
[2:02] What stops couples from seeing eye to eye on personal finances?
[3:13] Attachment theory and the 4 styles of attachment
[11:44] How your attachment style will show up in your intimate relationship
[14:57] What secure parents do differently
[19:32] How Ed’s upbringing shaped his attachment style
[30:54] How understanding your partner's attachment style can help you anticipate their needs
[40:30] What to do when your partner makes significantly more money
[23:56] “But understanding people’s intentions and understanding my own needs, I was very unaware.”
[31:36] “The next important thing is to not weaponize it. We don’t want to make our partner bad for whatever attachment style they have. We want to stay in the space of empathy and compassion.”
[43:30] “There is no social status to being a client representative at Vanguard Mutual Funds.”
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