For The Love With Jen Hatmaker Podcast For the Love Podcast

Are you smack dab in the middle of the Sandwich Years? That precarious time where you’re squeezed between the demands of caring for aging parents and still supporting children? We’re here for you, and we’ve got a friend to the show who is living it out in real time, sharing how she’s getting through it all. Jenny Hutt was the host of the Just Jenny Show on Sirius XM and is now hosting her own daily podcast–all while dealing with the long-term care of her father (and his recent death) and the launching of her adult children out into the world. Jenny and Jen discuss unique issues relevant to the Sandwich Generation:
Learning to re-calibrate your role as a parent in the lives of your newly “launched into the world” kids
Dealing with unresolved parent/child issues that sometimes arise with the death of a parent
Recognizing generational anxiety and equipping ourselves and our children with the tools to handle it
The importance of relying on a strong network of family and friends to draw from during this time (not being afraid to ask for help). 
Having the hard conversations with your parents about being prepared for their passing (and also making sure you’re taking care of that for your children too)
So whether you’re managing being part of the sandwich generation right now, or you’re mentally preparing yourself for it, or you know someone who is facing it head on, there’s something for all of us to take away from this candid and vulnerable convo with Jen and Jenny.
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Thank you to our sponsors!
FOCL  | Your personal dream team of premium hemp CBD + 5 soothing botanicals for a full night of deep, restorative sleep. Get 20% off at FOCL.com using code FORTHELOVE. 
MeCourse on Parenting Tweens & Teens  | Get help parenting during the tween and teen years from Jen and Mercedes Samudio. Visit mecourse.org and sign up today! 

 
Thought-Provoking Quotes
“Somebody should have said to us before we had kidS: ‘you're gonna have children and you're gonna be tired and it's gonna be fun when they're babies, but it's also gonna be awful when they're babies. And then, they're gonna grow up and they're gonna leave you. And when they leave you, you're gonna feel like they're gone for good. And you're also gonna feel like you are not gonna make it.’” - Jenny Hutt
“While your parents are still healthy is when you have to have the conversation [about their affairs] and it's pretty simple. It's things like if there are bank accounts, designate somebody to automatically have the bank account upon your death.” - Jenny Hutt
“Ask [your older parents] all the questions you want answers to, because if you don't ask them now, as uncomfortable as they might be, you're never gonna be able to ask them.” - Jenny Hutt
“We all find our purpose at different points in our lives. I think that one of my biggest purposes is to show that you can live through things that feel like you can't live through them.” - Jenny Hutt

 
Guest’s Links
Website
Just Jenny Podcast
Instagram
Twitter
Facebook
YouTube
 
Resources Mentioned in This Episode
Bunny Eyez Eyewear
For You When I Am Gone by Rabbi Steve Leder

 
Connect with Jen!
Jen’s website
Jen’s Instagram
Jen’s Twitter
Jen’s Facebook
Jen’s YouTube

Another special bonus episode from the “Make Me Care About” podcast from the Gates Foundation with our own Jen Hatmaker talking with another amazing expert about things we may not know about and if we did–we would definitely care! When it goes well, giving birth can be a wonderful experience, but when it goes wrong, it can be deadly for mother and child alike. Too often, where you live, your access to quality care, and in some places–the color of your skin–determines whether or not you live or die during birth.
In this episode, we have the privilege of hearing from journalist, activist, and mom Elaine Welteroth. 
Join Jen and Elaine as they discuss:
How many women die every year during childbirth and pregnancy 
The factors and risks contributing to mortality rates
Why these deaths are preventable 
The increased likelihood of death for Black mothers
Why the United States has the highest number of maternal deaths among high income countries

Gates Foundation & Guest Links
Make Me Care About Podcast Series
Gates Foundation 
Elaine Welteroth’s website

 
Resources for this Episode
Gender equality strategy
Maternal, infant, and child health 
 
Connect with Jen!
Jen’s Website
Jen’s Instagram
Jen’s Twitter
Jen’s Facebook
Jen’s YouTube

In this episode of our For the Love of the Middle series, renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Shefali returns to the show to discuss her concept of conscious parenting. Those of us in the middle of life who may still be parenting kids at home, or adjusting to parenting adult children who have just launched out into the world–or in any season of the parenting journey, really–will find much to learn as we look back (and forward) at our parenting patterns. Dr. Shefali provides a step-by-step roadmap to help free parents and their children from toxic patterns and expectations, while building a lasting meaningful bond with them. Using her book as a guide, she will introduce us to the five patterns of ego, show us some varying parenting styles (including helping Jen unpack her own parenting style), develop a mindful focus on self-control, and tips on how we can encourage our adult children to parent themselves. Jen and the good doctor will hit some big topics that will inform not only parents, but those of us who wish to discover how we were parented, and how it impacts us now; including: 
Walking through the definition of conscious parenting and the three stages of the parenting map
Debunking the notion that as parents we are supposed to create happy, perfect superhumans by following traditional parenting rules
Dismissing the notion that there are good kids and bad kids—and how to avoid using these labels  
Revealing the five ego patterns parents that parents might not even realize inform their quest to raise amazing children
The three reasons why children act out or misbehave and how you can learn not to shame them for it
The results of over-parenting and how it shows up in your adult children
It’s never too late to become a mindful parent and set an intention to allow your children to become centerstage in their own lives.

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Thank you to our sponsors!
BetterHelp  | Try convenient and affordable therapy with BetterHelp anytime, anywhere. Give BetterHelp a try and get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/ForTheLove  
MeCourse on Parenting Tweens & Teens  | Get help parenting during the tween and teen years from Jen and Mercedes Samudio. Visit mecourse.org and sign up today! 
FOCL  | Your personal dream team of premium hemp CBD + 5 soothing botanicals for a full night of deep, restorative sleep. Get 20% off at FOCL.com using code FORTHELOVE. 
 
Thought-Provoking Quotes
“The evolution of the planet depends on the evolution of the parent.” - Dr. Shefali
“Everyone wants a new tomorrow. But what we don't realize is that a new future comes with an absolute willingness to disrupt the past.” - Dr. Shefali
“There is no such thing as a good kid or a bad kid. We put these labels based on an egoic agenda. So, what kind of kids are there? Just kids–just humans who are terribly flawed like we are, and terribly, but amazingly blissful like we are. They're just this unique combo and they defy labels.” - Dr. Shefali
“The good girl taken to the extreme becomes self-sacrificial and she begins to lose her sense of self–it typically happens with girls. Then she's in her mid forties and she's like, ‘who am I?’” - Dr. Shefali 
“Conscious parenting is not something you are, it's something you become.” - Dr. Shefali
“Punishment, shaming, blaming is never sustainable. I cannot tell you how many times a day I tell parents, ‘Listen, you appear to get control in the moment, but long term, it's going to be unforgiving.’” - Dr. Shefali
“How do we constantly show our presence [to our adult children]? Unequivocal cheerleading. ‘I'm thinking of you. I miss you. I'm remembering you. I I adore you.’ Letting them know they are on our mind, but not involved in their day-to-day. - Dr. Shefali
“When the ego crumbles, proportionately the heart expands, and you then are just this heart-centered being able to connect to other people in a very attuned, co

Another special bonus episode from the “Make Me Care About” podcast from the Gates Foundation with our own Jen Hatmaker talking with another amazing expert about things we may not know or care about, but should! This episode gives us the privilege of speaking with Surabhi Rajaram, a Program Officer at the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation who focuses on improving immunization delivery. We dive deep into the world of safe syringes, and why they are so important in saving lives.
Surabhi Rajaram is a true expert in her field, with years of experience at the forefront of improving global health. Today she shares her knowledge on the features of an auto-disabled syringe, and how it physically prevents the user from being able to withdraw the syringe again, ultimately preventing the spread of illness.
Join Jen and Surabhi as they discuss:
Why safe syringes are so important to effective vaccine delivery
The importance of investing in scalable syringe manufacturing
Improving immunization delivery for a safer world
How preparing for disease threats like COVID requires syringe innovation 
Our guest shares their life’s work around investing in safe and effective syringe manufacturing and delivery and how each of us can make a difference in the world of global health by learning more about this important topic. 
 
Gates Foundation & Guest Links
Make Me Care About Podcast Series
Gates Foundation 
Guest Surabhi Rajaram’s website
 
Resources for this Episode
Vaccine Development and Surveillance
Long Term Vaccine Development in Africa
PATH Syringe GAP analysis
UNICEF Syringes explainer video
 
Connect with Jen!
Jen’s Website
Jen’s Instagram
Jen’s Twitter
Jen’s Facebook
Jen’s YouTube

Continuing in our For the Love of the Middle series, we’re having a conversation about something that may impact us as we hit those middle years (or sooner)–caring for our aging parents. With us to be our guide through this sometimes difficult journey is Michelle Boyaner, the director of the documentary film "It's Not a Burden: The Humor and Heartache of Raising Elderly Parents.” As a storyteller, Michelle felt compelled to talk about this particular stage of life, and decided to film her own journey through it with her mother to help others embrace this unique time in a family’s evolution. Jen and Michelle explore the highs and the lows of caregiving for aging parents and how to stay sane and open hearted during the process. 
Michelle Boyaner is an award-winning filmmaker, writer, and educator who founded production company Greenie Films with her wife, Barbara Greene. Together they have written, directed and produced a variety of short and feature films that tell stories of caring for aging parents, living with HIV and the challenges of mental illness–all told with their signature humor and deep capacity for compassion. 
Join Jen and Michelle as they discuss: 
How to know when it's time to step in with your aging parents
Honoring and managing your parents feelings of not wanting to be a burden
Finding humor in the challenging moments 
Why caregivers feel so lonely, even when there are so many in the U.S. 
Moving from anger and frustration with difficult parental relationships to forgiveness 
We hope you’ll feel less alone on your caregiving journey as Michelle provides practical advice and encouragement as well as some tough love for those in the middle of this common but not often discussed major life experience.
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Thank you to our sponsors!
Chime  | Increase your credit score with the Chime app! Get a higher credit score today at www.chime.com/ForTheLove  
Boll&Branch | These are the softest sheets ever. Get 15% off your best night's sleep at www.BollandBranch.com using promo code ForTheLove. 

 
Thought-Provoking Quotes
“How do you know it’s the right time to step in? If you see a cognitive difference, if there's a change like they're forgetting things–for example, my mom left her keys on the top of the car and sat in the car and didn't know why she couldn't start the car. That’s when you might want to consider stepping in. But how do I start that conversation? How can I place my hand on theirs and then gently sort of take the reins? It’s a tough thing to consider.”  - Michelle Boyaner
“By the time we get to this place in life [of caring for our] parents, you are playing a montage of their greatest hits and misses, right?” - Michelle Boyaner
“It’s important to stay engaged with the humor of all situations if you can. That humor is this little cup of water that helps us in between the hard moments. Caring for aging parents has its absurd moments and leaning into the humor of it can sustain us.” - Michelle Boyaner 
“You're going to make mistakes. But the thing that becomes most important for those going through caring for an aging parent is to try to find support. Try to find others who have been going through the same thing and ask questions. Talk about how you're feeling. Take care of yourself to fill your tank so that you can help fill your parents' tank.” - Michelle Boyaner 

 
Michelle’s Links
Twitter
Facebook
Instagram

 
Books & Resources Mentioned in This Episode
Greenie Films Webpage
Greenie Films: Packed in a Trunk: The Lost Art of Edith Lake Wilkinson, It’s Not a Burden; The Humor and Heartache of Raising Elderly Parents, All Around the Nation, Finished Life by Michelle Boyaner
Instagram Account by Heather Spooner: Letter League 
Liz Hammond’s Poem:  “The women who walk us home”
 
Connect with Jen!
Jen’s Website
Jen’s Instagram
Jen’s Twitter
Jen’s Facebook
Jen’s YouTube
 

Hey there, For the Love Podcast community! We’re excited to share some bonus  episodes from a new podcast from the Gates Foundation, hosted by our very own Jen Hatmaker! It's all about getting to know the innovators who are out there changing the world and opening our minds to things that we might not otherwise think about much, like this first episode–poop! You can look forward to several of these bonus episodes popping into your feed that feature amazing conversations with experts who have shared their insights on the importance of things like sanitation systems, syringes, and even digital money.
Our first episode in the series is all about…Poop! Jen speaks with expert Shannon Yee, an associate professor at the G.W.W. School of Mechanical Engineering at the Georgia Institute of Technology.
 
 Jen and Shannon discuss:  
How safe sanitation is a cornerstone of human health and society.
Where poop goes when it leaves our bathrooms.
The importance of investing in safe, scalable bathroom technologies now for future generations
When will water scarcity impact our bathrooms and what to do about it.
 
Find out about what happens every time you flush in this very special debut episode.