Revenge is one of those things that, once we are under the influence of it, we can find it hard to separate from. We all have grievances, but once we allow ourselves to feel like we are being victimized things can quickly get out of hand. In this episode, I am talking with James Kimmel Jr., a lead developer of the NonJustice System, and we are talking about forgiveness.
Those of us in some sort of recovery may have, and may still, feel victimized. We may have utilized our DOC (Drug of Choice) in order to cope with our feelings of victimization. We may have and may continue to, relive and remind ourselves that we were victims. This is just another addiction. The more we live in this space of victimization in our minds the more we are living under its influence. This is not to say we do not have a grievance, we do, but how much are we willing to be controlled by it?
In this episode, we are exploring grievance, revenge, and forgiveness, how they relate to addiction, and how we can further our ability to forgive so as not to live under their influences.
On the path of recovering yourself, you are going to find there is no end to the bombardment of things attempting to keep us living comfortably. Even though wanting revenge, or feeling victimized doesn't sound comfortable, it is often much easier to be a victim than it is to be your own savior.
Questions for groups: When was the last time you felt the desire to get revenge (whether you acted on it or not)? What is the story you told yourself about why you deserve to get revenge? What would it feel like if you were able to forgive those who you have a grievance against sooner? How long is long enough to be aggrieved?
Two books James authored on revenge and forgiveness are The Trial of Fallen Angels, and Suing for Peace. You can find James' personal website and his research work on NonJustice as well as his website dedicated to preventing murder and mass shootings. He also has research articles on addiction, related to justice and revenge as well as the NonJustice method for reducing revenge cravings. If you are interested in learning more about how to implement the NonJustice approach to something in your life I encourage you to check out this episode of Wellness Inc with Dr. Mike Moreno. James is also on Twitter @JamesKimmelJr
As my work suggests I am always looking to recover myself completely and my aim is to help others recover themselves. I see a client for a total of 4 sessions which is designed to launch self-directed lives and separate us from the constant draw of codependency. This starts with my doing a portrait of my client. The portrait is an intimate experience, these open a vocabulary to trauma and are healing. This process is not for everyone and if you are not ready, I will not work with you. It is important that you are ready to step into yourself and stop playing a victim cursed by things around you. If you are interested in working together reach out at https://www.martinjon.com/
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