In this episode of By His Grace, Fred Stoeker shares his personal journey of addiction to pornography, heavy drinking, and chasing after multiple girlfriends. He experienced a spiritual awakening and used Christian teachings and prayers to take control of his actions. He is the author of “Every Man’s Battle” and “Every Young Man’s Battle,” which discusses the importance of controlling the eyes and mind to break free from addiction.
Fred provides an excerpt from the book he co-authored with his wife, Brenda entitled, “Battle On, Battle Over,” which highlights the increasing problem of porn addiction in women. The speaker warns that exposure to graphic content can create greater desire and urges listeners to prioritize purity. The episode also discusses the science behind how porn addiction affects the brain and how Christianity can help overcome this sin.
The Speaker’s Struggles with Addiction
* Addiction to pornography, heavy drinking, and chasing after multiple girlfriends.
* Spiritual awakening and began heavily attending church and learning.
* Marriage did not solve his sexual sin issue.
* Battle against his addiction and with the help of the Lord, was able to control his eyes and mind to break free almost entirely.
Every Man’s Battle and Every Young Man’s Battle
Discusses the importance of controlling the eyes and mind as a defense against addiction.– Only surrendering to the Lord can fill the God shaped hole in our hearts.– Overcoming sin is a sanctification process, but God is gentle, kind, and loving, helping us overcome any struggle as long as we give that battle to Him.– The speaker learned to avoid triggers through God’s training.– Women have also found the books helpful in changing their behavior regarding eye movements.– Every Man’s Battle has been updated for its 20th anniversary, and it provides training on how the mind and neural pathways work when looking at pornography.
Fred and Brenda Stoker’s Work
* Married couple writing a book together for both men and women.
* There is currently a wave of sexual sin and porn addiction in both men and women.
* Female sexuality is intensely relational and tied to feelings of loneliness and disconnection, while male sexuality is visual.– Pornographers have learned to tie romantic themes to porn to appeal to women.
* Women can get addicted to porn and seek it as a medication for loneliness and disconnection.–
* Every Man’s Battle and Every Young Man’s Battle provide practical steps to defend the eyes.
* Women with father wounds or broken marriages are particularly vulnerable to being hooked on porn.
Importance of Guarding Eyes and Mind
* Pornography can be destructive to both individuals and marriages.Call to prioritize purity in the present time.
* Overexposure to certain types of media can physically alter the brain by burning out receptors.
* Exposure to increasingly graphic content can create an increasing desire for more.
* The speaker emphasizes the need to use tools to guard one’s eyes and mind.
* The ultimate goal is to follow God’s ways and desire purity.
Pornography’s Effect on Men and Women
* Pornography is not just a problem for men, but increasingly for women as well.
* Misty shares her personal experience with husband’s struggle with pornography. Husband’s struggle began during stressful time with special needs son.
* Sexual sin may not be sexual at its root but may stem from financial pressure, weak manhood, or other pain points.
* Prayer and worship can help deal with pain and stress without resorting to sexual sin,