Today we’re back as we explore our kids’ FREEDOM TO SPEAK! Does your kid struggle to speak respectfully? To lean into ‘manners’? To respond when questioned? Hang on as we radically grant our kids the right to speak (gasp) in whatever way comes out naturally. So what’s OUR job during this verbal shitstorm? We explore ways to align our values with our day-to-day interactions. To model our asses off. To interact sensitively to avoid power struggles. To give agency, scaffold skills, and trust in the long game. We swear it's easier than censoring or prompting.
Each of these difficult interactions can be a chance for us BOTH to build skills, stay connected, and grow as people and family. Join us to explore our expectations and beliefs around wordplay as we unpack three strategies to sensitively support this critical freedom in our kids. We laugh, we cry, we lean in!
Mental Mantras we explore:
- “This isn’t about me”
- “They have every right to disagree”
- “They are suffering inside”
- “Words are symptoms of a need”
- “They will express better with time”
- “Focus on the feelings, not the words”
- “I can be their safe place”
Relevant Links + resources that informed this episode:
- Upbringing’s Freedoms Model
- Upbringing’s RESIST Approach
- Upbringing's Free To Struggle episode
- Upbringing’s Free To Feel episode
- Upbringing’s The Power of Circling Back episode / video
- Upbringing’s We Know Our Influence episode
- Originals, by Adam Grant
- Bridgewater- Ray Dalio
- Raising Human Beings, by Ross W. Greene
- Lives in the Balance, Ross W. Greene
- “Name it to tame it” - The Whole-Brain Child by Dan Siegel & Tina Payne Bryson
- Intrinsic vs Extrinsic Motivation
- Audre Lorde
- “Patriarchy”, according to The Guardian
- The Montessori Toddler by Simone Davies
- Simplicity Parenting, by Kim John Payne
- Respectful parenting for babies & toddlers the RIE way
- Self-Reg: How to Help Your Child (and You) Break The Stress Cycle and Successfully Engage With Life by Stuart Shanker
- The Good News About Bad Behavior by Katherine Reynolds-Lewis
- Non-Violent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall B Rosenburg
- Amber Okamura, Upbringing’s Artist
- Mary Schroeder, Upbringing’s Letterer
- Alex Olavarria, our producer, conductor, editor + husband/brother in law
Today’s episode is supported by A Kid’s Book About- a collection of beautifully designed books that kickstart challenging and empowering conversations between kids and their grownups.
Visit our website, www.upbringing.co to learn more about us and sign up for our newsletter! We want to hear your thoughts. We care deeply about what you think and how you’re doin’, so get in touch -- we’re better together.
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Join us to explore topics such as: parenting, motherhood, discipline, resistance, RIE parenting, feminist parenting, toddlers, tantrums, potty training, mindful parenting, conscious parenting, evidence-based parenting, positive parenting, respectful parenting, simplicity parenting and positive discipline.