Freund with Benefits: Helping Bachelors Steven Freund

Ja-red to the Willie last name Tonder
No one stronger
Who can hold a plank longer
Excuse me I got a few thoughts right now that I’d like to ponder so allow me the honor
He was born in Colorado where the mountains grow
Where they drink lemonade and speak real slow
And yes that was a quote from LFO but if you weren’t a 90’s kid well i guess you don’t know
Straight out of Alabama rockin southern flow
With a straw hat sitting back playing banjo
On his front porch rocking with a dog at his feet and a truck so-so next to the radio
I really couldn’t tell you quite what is age is but he’s breaking new ground like his name’s John Smith
If I had to guess though I’d say 29 cause he’ll knock you out and joke about it like a punch line (breath)
Jokes all aside he’s a really cool guy who just wants to make sure that you can stay fly
At the same with his fly swatter in his back pocket just to make sure that you will never try
To cross his friends and we cannot pretend that it aint his birthday so l hope that you’ll spend
A second right now to wish him well, cause all that he wants is some more cowbell

Happy birthday Wally, Basraoui,
Play him on the court and you’re gonna get an owie
5 hours later and he found himself in Maui with a battle wound on his arm that he wore proudly
Turning 27 at the seven eleven
Wears Hawaiin shirts like his first name is Kevin
Kevin Joseph Bernert that is his full name
But when it comes Wally’s game yeah no body is the same
Don’t mind him he’s just doing his thang
Celebrating living life with the rest of his gang
If you’re on the court with him well i bet you couldn’t hang
So go back to your room and watch Chitty Bang Bang
So yeah just wanna say Happy Birthday
Keep your chin up cause it’s not the worst day
Here’s a random question - how much does a bird weigh
Sorry out of time - that’s the end of the word play

This is my Christmas card rap for 2018

Lyrics:

So ring ring ring, watch them sleighbells go
Just sit right back and enjoy the show
For the rap de la Christmas card volume three
Megan’s rocking around the Christmas tree

Every now and then yeah I like to wear a parka
Along with my homies Dan and Annalynn Pilarca
And if you got beef then take it up with Aseef
Or if you want change ask Brian K Lagrange

Alright seriously here we go

Bob your head to it and enjoy the show
Eryn’s Clark Kent and she’s bringing you the flow
Jarred likes the carrots and the badges with the merits
And Jason’s in the back battle rappin with the ferrits

Tae and his wife yeah they just had a baby
Alex is a pirate and it’s ships ahoy matey
Scott had a tot, and Pam had a yam
And Justin’s taking selfies of himself on instagram

Kevin’s having fun yeah in his new home
Nick Levine’s ballin cause he’s riding on the chromes
Zoey loves it snowy, Chase likes to fly
Way up in the air with his homie Sky Thai

Brian’s in the corner and he does the stanky leg
Mike got the golden goose but he didn’t get the egg
Meanwhile Emily acting like a goof
Santa came down the chimney and he’s raisin up the roof

This is my next interview as part of the career series. My next guest is a Civil Engineer who received his degree in 2013. He’s a lively individual who’s frequently compared to individuals such as Johnny Knoxville and skater Bam Margera for his fearless attitude and disregard for his own personal safety. I’m just kidding, but he’s a very courageous guy who I’ve known for almost 10 years.

Lyrics:

Can I get a Brack Duvall
Let me holla back at y’all
Beating up seals like Steven Segal
You can find him in the class or in the bathroom stall
And he learned how to use the force better than Darth Maul

But that’s not all
His best first line that used in the club a long time was
Gimme your number...and I’ll call

Yeah and he’s a young jolly green, charlie sheen, mr. clean, talk about the bean who makes a scene
A jack in the beanstalk get your sunscreen
It gets lonely at the top and I don’t mean to be mean

But,
he’s 28 years old,

Or a lie’s what I’ve been told

It was probably Pat Kilbane
Either way it’s Brack’s birthday and I’m about to go insane

Scot-ty, taught me
How to kick it when you’re chilling in Karate
How to do the wave like you’re riding a tsunami
It’s his birthday, time to serve him up some hot tea

Mr. last name Saville
Like a warhawk Closing in for the kill
Pretended he was from Australia for a little thrill
And he’s Better than Lebron when he does the windmill

But it’s all chill, yeah it’s real G-doh
St Patty’s Day he was green like Cee-lo

Fooling all the ladies
And he went a little crazy
He’s the captain of the ship, and the chips ahoy mateys

He likes to be nice like Forrest Gump
At the same time closing deals like Donald Trump
He learned about a model called T-I-P-O
Brack can do the robot like C3PO

The other day we learned a bit about negotiation
Everyone so excited was like a celebration
Especially Scott, brough his pen and his paper
Like the day of the fight with Luke and Vader

Here we are now down at SOS
It’s his birthday and I bet you can’t guess
How old he is and you better pass the test
For that Big 2-9 he ain’t settling for less