89 episodes

It's been said that "the opposite of addiction isn't sobriety...it's connection." Join licensed therapist and author Geoff Steurer as he interviews experts, authors, individuals, couples, and other guests about how to move out of the crisis of sexual betrayal (affairs, pornography, sexual addiction, etc) and betrayal trauma toward connection. Connection to self, spouse, partner, family, friends, neighbors, spirituality, and community. The information in these interviews applies across religions and cultures, as we all seek the same healing power of connection.

From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff Steurer From Crisis to Connection

    • Mental Health
    • 4.8 • 71 Ratings

It's been said that "the opposite of addiction isn't sobriety...it's connection." Join licensed therapist and author Geoff Steurer as he interviews experts, authors, individuals, couples, and other guests about how to move out of the crisis of sexual betrayal (affairs, pornography, sexual addiction, etc) and betrayal trauma toward connection. Connection to self, spouse, partner, family, friends, neighbors, spirituality, and community. The information in these interviews applies across religions and cultures, as we all seek the same healing power of connection.

    Trusting yourself after betrayal - Melissa Ruff - Episode 88

    Trusting yourself after betrayal - Melissa Ruff - Episode 88

    Connect with me:

    www.instagram.com/geoffsteurer/

    www.facebook.com/GeoffSteurerMFT

    Visit www.geoffsteurer.com for online courses and other supportive resources.



    In this episode I interview Melissa Ruff from Live Free Wives on the subject of trusting yourself after betrayal. We discuss:


    Why rebuilding trust with yourself matters

    What happens when someone is betrayed and why they begin to disconnect from their own sense of reality and truth.

    How to reclaim your sanity, your identity, and have healthy relationships.


    About Melissa Ruff  

    Melissa Ruff is the director for Live Free Wives, a long-time group leader for betrayed women, and is studying to become a Licensed Professional Counselor. She lives with her husband of 13 years and their three wonderful children.

    m.ruff@livefreewives.org

    Website: www.livefreewives.org

    Instagram: @livefreewives

    • 42 min
    Reclaiming your sexuality - Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife - Episode 87

    Reclaiming your sexuality - Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife - Episode 87

    Connect with me:

    www.instagram.com/geoffsteurer/

    www.facebook.com/GeoffSteurerMFT

    Visit www.geoffsteurer.com for online courses and other supportive resources.



    In this week's episode, I have a discussion with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife about how to reclaim personal sexuality in recovery from sexual betrayal. This is a confusing topic for those who have sexually betrayed their partner and for those partners who have been sexually betrayed. These are the some of the questions I hear on a regular basis from couples who are working through sexual betrayal:


    What to we do about sex after betrayal?
    My own sexuality feels so altered, how do I get it back? 
    What if I don't want to have sex or be a sexual person?

    This is an episode for people in all stages of recovery - from early in the healing process or later when you're trying to navigate a new sexual relationship. 

    In this episodes we discuss:


    How sexual betrayal impacts individual sexuality for both the unfaithful and the betrayed.
    What individual and couple factors influence how deeply sexuality is impacted.
    The steps individual might consider as they begin reclaiming their sexuality.
    The roadblocks that get in the way of reclaiming personal sexuality in the wake of sexual betrayal.
    The growth we see as individuals work to reclaim their sexuality.


    About Dr. Finlayson-Fife

    Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife is a LDS relationship and sexuality coach as well as a  Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor in the state of Illinois.  She has a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology. Her teaching and coaching focuses on helping LDS individuals and couples achieve greater satisfaction and passion in their emotional and sexual relationships.

    In addition to consultation with couples and individuals (in person and online), she teaches online relationship and sexuality courses designed to foster self and sexual development and create happier relationships and individuals.  Dr. Finlayson-Fife also offers many live workshops and retreats for couples and individuals.

    Jennifer is a frequent guest on LDS-themed podcasts and writes articles for LDS-themed blogs and magazines, on the subjects of sexuality, relationships, mental health and faith.

    You can learn more about Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife and her courses and workshops by visiting her website www.finlayson-fife.com

    • 48 min
    How to become more honest (Part 2) - Dr. Mark Matheson - Episode 86

    How to become more honest (Part 2) - Dr. Mark Matheson - Episode 86

    Connect with me on social media:

    www.instagram.com/geoffsteurer/

    www.facebook.com/GeoffSteurerMFT

    Visit www.geoffsteurer.com for online courses and other supportive resources.

    In part 2 of my interview with Dr. Mark Matheson, we continue the discussion on how to be more honest. He shares specific skills we can practice and teach to our families and organizations to improve our honesty. See below for a summary of the skills. 



    About Dr. Mark Matheson

    Dr. Matheson has an MBA from Harvard and a doctorate in organizational leadership from UoP. From 2010 to 2019 Brother Matheson taught at BYU-Hawaii and Southern Virginia Universities. Before his retirement,  he has been a partner and senior analyst with three investment banks. He was also an Adjunct Professor for four years and guest lectured at eight other universities. He taught at BYU Education Week for four years, seminary for five years and for the last seventeen years, when he is in Utah, he has served as a volunteer teacher serving the Utah State Prison. He loves to mentor young adults as they face multiple important life decisions. He posts thought-provoking ideas daily under the titles @ScriptureAnalyst and @ConferneceAnalyst, the same on both Instagram or Facebook.



    Show Notes

    Three Facilitators of Honesty all starting with “E”:

    Exemplify Honesty

    Will your kids highlight your honesty at your funeral?

    Accept the challenge to correct prior poor honesty modeling.

    1)  Practice Self Reminders

    2)  Guard Against Rationalizing

    3)  Recognize Your Own White Lies

    4)  Rehearse Honest Responses

    Enable Honesty

    Take down the barriers that keep honesty from thriving.

    1)  Avoid Presumptive Honesty – It can happen to your kids

    2)  Use One-on-One Interaction. Get them talking privately.

    3)  Do Not Abandon Rules and Honesty Enforcement

    4)  Disable Economic Motivators for Dishonesty

    Encourage Honesty

    Turn around dishonest practices.

    1)  Share Information in Openness and Transparency

    2)  Understand What to Disclose

    3)  Reduce the Fear of Reporting or Confessing Dishonesty

    4)  Implement an External Assessment & External Personal Honesty Accountability

    • 41 min
    How to become more honest (Part 1) - Dr. Mark Matheson - Episode 85

    How to become more honest (Part 1) - Dr. Mark Matheson - Episode 85

    Connect with me on social media:

    www.instagram.com/geoffsteurer/

    www.facebook.com/GeoffSteurerMFT

    Visit www.geoffsteurer.com for online courses and other supportive resources.

    In this episode, I interview Dr. Mark Matheson on the topic of honesty and how we can become more honest in our dealings with other people.

    Dr. Matheson has an MBA from Harvard and a doctorate in organizational leadership from UoP. From 2010 to 2019 Brother Matheson taught at BYU-Hawaii and Southern Virginia Universities. Before his retirement,  he has been a partner and senior analyst with three investment banks. He was also an Adjunct Professor for four years and guest lectured at eight other universities. He taught at BYU Education Week for four years, seminary for five years and for the last seventeen years, when he is in Utah, he has served as a volunteer teacher serving the Utah State Prison. He loves to mentor young adults as they face multiple important life decisions. He posts thought-provoking ideas daily under the titles @ScriptureAnalyst and @ConferneceAnalyst, the same on both Instagram or Facebook.

    Five preliminary basic steps in improving honesty:

    1) Perceive Dishonesty as a Threat to the Well-Being of Your Family

    2) Seek to Understand Why You and/or Your Family has Dishonesty Issues or Events

    Here are two practices you can do now to analyze your level of honesty:

    **Conduct an Honesty Inventory for a day or a week- keep a pad and pen with you and see if you can tally how many honesty situations you are in or how many times you lied.

    **Do a Personal Honesty Assessment   Reflect on your life and see where you have perhaps cut corners now or in the past.

    3) Develop a Personal Commitment to Honesty

    Here are some self evaluation questions I use:

    Ask: Is honesty for you always a priority or only when someone calls you on it?

    Ask: Is honesty a proactive core characteristic of the way you conduct your life or is dishonesty the ‘default’ mode?

    Ask: Are we usually honest mainly when it is not inconvenient ?  Is our internal consistent with our external?

    4) As We Develop a Vision of Honesty for Your Family and the World

    5) Trust in Positive Outcomes of Honest Behavior

    --Believe that honesty is the best long term course of action.

    --Believe that honesty is rewarded in the Long-run; not always in the short-run.

    -- Honesty skills need to be tested over time and under stress.

    I Found Two Related Core Traits of Honesty: Sacrifice & Humility

    1) Sacrifice to Uphold Honesty

    Admit mistakes even when it costs something significant.

    You have to be prepared to walk away from profitable but dishonest dealings.

    2) Embrace Humility as a Guard Against Dishonesty

    Much dishonesty stems from attempts to limit ego damage.

    We can improve in this by some simple actions:

    Accepting feedback from others

    Acknowledging error

    • 45 min
    Breaking the silence - Creed and Crishelle - Episode 84

    Breaking the silence - Creed and Crishelle - Episode 84

    Connect with me on social media:

    www.instagram.com/geoffsteurer/

    www.facebook.com/GeoffSteurerMFT

    Visit www.geoffsteurer.com for online courses and other supportive resources.

    In this episode, I'm joined by Creed and Crishelle, both young adults and the hosts of the podcast, "Breaking the Silence", sponsored by Reach 10. We talk about their own stories of breaking the silence around shame, pornography, family struggles, and other sensitive issues, and how others can develop the courage and permission to speak up about their own questions, struggles, and concerns.  



    Reach 10 website https://reach10.org/

    Breaking the Silence Podcast  https://reach10.org/breaking-the-silence-podcast/

    Instagram @reach.10     https://www.instagram.com/reach.10/

    Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/reachten/

    • 45 min
    How a group of young adults are changing the conversation around sex and shame - Reach 10 - Episode 83

    How a group of young adults are changing the conversation around sex and shame - Reach 10 - Episode 83

    Connect with me on social media:

    www.instagram.com/geoffsteurer/

    www.facebook.com/GeoffSteurerMFT

    Visit www.geoffsteurer.com for online courses and other supportive resources.



    Today’s young adults in their 20s were born as the Internet was gaining momentum. They’ve never known what it’s like to live life offline. Some have described them as the first digital natives. They also are also the first generation who were able to stream pornographic videos before they even had their first kiss. This cohort of adults have heard the porn lectures since they were teens and many of them know it’s a problem, but the big question of “now what?” leaves many of them without answers. Vauna Davis is my guest today and she noticed that young people needed more resources to help support each other since they were all swimming in the same polluted waters. She was the former executive director for the Utah Coalition Against Pornography and noticed a lack of resources specifically aimed at helping young adults know how to navigate these conversations amongst themselves. At the end of every UCAP conference, the president of UCAP, Pamela Atkinson, would invite the audience to share what they had learned with 10 people. Vauna ran with this invitation and started a non-profit called “Reach 10”. They reach out in two primary ways:

    We reach out online
    We create and share resources on our website and social media that help young adults and those who love them talk about pornography in more compassionate and effective ways.

    We reach out live
    In our community surrounding Provo, UT, we bring young adults together and train them to speak on this issue, then help them find opportunities to teach.

    Here are the links for Reach 10 for your podcast episode with me:

    Reach 10 website https://reach10.org/

    Breaking the Silence Podcast  https://reach10.org/breaking-the-silence-podcast/

    Instagram @reach.10     https://www.instagram.com/reach.10/

    Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/reachten/

    Email vauna@reach10.org

    • 56 min

Customer Reviews

4.8 out of 5
71 Ratings

71 Ratings

AnnieOnnie ,

Excellent information

This podcast has been a lifeline for me. I’ve listened to numerous episodes. It’s helped me feel like someone understands and that recovering from an addiction really is possible.

Moth-er of 4 ,

So Validating!

Geoff is such an amazing therapist and voice of sanity and comfort in the world of porn addiction and betrayal trauma recovery. I have heard him speak in person, I have listened to his podcasts, followed him on IG, and read his articles in Meridian Magazine and he just ...gets it. The things he says —it’s like he’s been reading my journal. He is so understanding, empathetic, and validating, and yet he gives hope and compassion for the addict. I have been a part of this recovery world for over 7 years, and Geoff is one of my main go-tos. I always recommend him to anyone who suddenly finds themselves in this or a similar boat.

Sue in betrayal trauma ,

LOVE

I love Geoff and all of his advice!!!
Thank you so much for putting this great content out there!!!
I only wish there were more episodes, like one a week! 😊

Top Podcasts In Mental Health

Listeners Also Subscribed To