Gender: A Wider Lens Podcast Stella O'Malley & Sasha Ayad

In this episode, the Wider Lens duo takes a slight detour from gender to explore teenage years from a developmental approach and how parents can better connect with and support their teen children through a challenging but powerful season of life — adolescence.
Sasha interviews Stella about her latest book, What Your Teen is Trying to Tell You. The book empowers parents to distinguish between opportunities in which intervention makes sense or moments that are best left for the teens to work out for themselves. Reviewed as somewhat of a deep dive into the teenage brain, the book provides practical advice for each of the key milestones teenagers need to tackle during adolescence to become happy, healthy adults.

Covering topics from anxiety to body confidence and technology obsession to the sexual self, this book is sure to give parents — always desperate to “fix” situations for their kids — the confidence to optimize on a teaching moment, or the patience to respect the power of simply letting the lessons be learned. The ultimate goal of the book is to enable parents with a better understanding of their teens and improved discernment, resulting in a rekindled joy and connection shared within parent-teen relationship dynamics.

Links:
Stella’s Websitehttp://www.stellaomalley.com/

Stella’s Substack
https://stellaomalley.substack.com/

Full Collection of Stella’s books:
What Your Teen is Trying to Tell You, 2023
https://geni.us/whatyourteen

Bully-Proof Kids, 2022
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Bully-Proof-Kids-Practical-Confident-Resilient/dp/1800750617/ref=asc_df_1800750617/?hvadid=570407791907&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=20490&hvnetw=g&hvpone=&hvpos=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvrand=5576590265895704336&hvtargid=pla-1691140391727&linkCode=df0&psc=1&psc=1&tag=googshopuk-21&th=1

Fragile, 2019
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Fragile-feeling-stressed-anxious-overwhelmed-ebook/dp/B07QFCB52S/ref=sr_1_fkmrnull_1?crid=1DECU62BRFP0U&keywords=fragile+stella+omalley&qid=1555341552&s=gateway&sprefix=fragile+stella+o%2Caps%2C183&sr=8-1-fkmrnull

Cotton Wool Kids, 2015
https://www.amazon.co.uk/d/Books/Cotton-Wool-Whats-Making-Irish-Parents-Paranoid/1781173206/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1498684238&sr=8-1&keywords=stella+o+malley

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This episode is dedicated to spreading awareness about the existence and experience of detransitioners — those who pursued a medicalized gender transition and later came to feel it wasn’t the right path for them. The detransitioner community is growing faster than ever as more young people realize they received inadequate and inappropriate healthcare.
The complex experience of detransition is not at all captured by the political identity being defined in the public discourse on the topic, and the real hardships involved seem to be entirely lost as an openly acknowledged possible outcome of the medical transition pathway, a primary outcome of the gender affirming model of care.

You will hear Sasha and Stella talk about how the detransition process is often a reckoning with reality. They speak about their experience working with detrans individuals and how it’s not as simple as “landing on detransition marks the end of a medical process or experience.” It is more of the beginning of a massive psychological process. It is not always a straight line with a clear destination. And it certainly involves a complicated and unique experience for each person. There are so many unknowns, particularly about the long-term medical implications in the aftermath of transition, so we’re learning as we go, seeking to better understand, empower and support the experience for detransitioners as well as others experiencing distress beyond transition.

In this conversation, you will also hear Stella and Sasha share about the launch of BeyondTrans.org. A new project of Genspect’s dedicated to meeting the specific needs of detransitioners, as well as those who are in a more uncertain space. Some people feel distressed about their transition. Many others feel more ambivalent. Some detransition. Others may not physically detransition, but their minds have detransitioned: they’ve moved on from an ideology that led them to believe they could become another person, and they’ve come to realize that this ideology can cause harm. Beyond Transition was established to offer comprehensive help for the varying needs of different groups impacted by medicalized gender transition.

Links:

You don’t have to be Irish to be Irish — https://youtu.be/jAQl64syDTg

Beyond Transition Website — https://beyondtrans.org/

Book Cynical Therapies — https://criticaltherapyantidote.org/new-book-2/

Breastfeeding Regret Paper — https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fgwh.2023.1073053/full

Pinned tweet — https://twitter.com/redrobin9000/status/1603678082426195969?s=20

Reddit detrans — https://www.reddit.com/r/detrans/

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters (an excerpt from There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self-Discovery; © 1977 Portia Nelson)
https://palousemindfulness.com/docs/autobio_5chapters.pdf


If you liked this episode, more episodes you might find interesting:

“15 — One Detrans Voice: a Conversation with Carol” —a href="https://gender-a-wider-lens.captivate.fm/episode/15-one-detrans-voice-a-conversation-with-carol"...

Victoria Smith is a regular contributor to The Critic, writing on women’s issues, parenting, and mental health. Her work has also appeared in The New Statesman, The Independent, and UnHerd. Her book Hags looks at the demonisation of middle-aged women in politics and popular culture.
In this episode, Stella and Sasha chat with Victoria about the depths of body hatred and body loathing. Victoria shares her perceptions about experiences described in the context of gender dysphoria, seeming incredibly relatable to her experience of anorexia and disordered eating when she was younger. The conversation exposes the distress of the burden of acclimating to the maturing female form at a young age manifesting as dysphoric perceptions of reality — a coping mechanism for discomfort.
Another fascinating concept explored in the conversation is how with age, females continue to experience confusion and discomfort with their changing bodies and find themselves in a constant state of reconciling not just their own experiences in relation to their bodies, but society’s reactions to the changes in both their physical presentation as well as their attitudes, expressions, and contributions to society.
Victoria speaks charmingly about the sentiments behind her recently published book, Hags: The Demonisation of Middle-Aged Women; and how society has always fostered a certain lack of respect for the wisdom and discernment women of a certain age contribute to culture and the symbolism behind it. There’s a sort of generational war between young women and older women that has always seemingly existed and yet the journey of experiencing womanhood has a way of bridging the gap between the two.
Links:
Follow Victoria Smith on Twitter — @glosswitchBook by Victoria Smith: Hags: The Demonisation of Middle-Aged Women -- https://geni.us/HagsBook by Jane Shilling: The Stranger in the Mirror: A Memoir of Middle Age -- https://www.amazon.com/Stranger-Mirror-Memoir-Middle-Shilling/dp/0701181001Book by Rachel Hewitt: In Her Nature: How Women Break Boundaries in the Great Outdoors -- https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/439400/in-her-nature-by-hewitt-rachel/9781784742898

If you liked this episode, more episodes you might find interesting:
Episode 2 — Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria -- https://gender-a-wider-lens.captivate.fm/episode/rapid-onset-gender-dysphoriaEpisode 4 — Why Do People Seek A New Identity? -- https://gender-a-wider-lens.captivate.fm/episode/why-do-people-seek-a-new-identityEpisode 12 — Identity vs. Role Confusion in Adolescence -- https://gender-a-wider-lens.captivate.fm/episode/12-identity-vs-role-confusion-in-adolescence
Please visit http://www.widerlenspod.com to explore more content, access additional resources, or join our listener community.
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Hannah Barnes is Investigations Producer at the BBC’s flagship television news and current affairs program, Newsnight. She has spent the last 15 years at the BBC, specializing in investigative and analytical journalism for both television and radio. Hannah led Newsnight’s coverage of the care available to young people experiencing gender-related distress at the UK’s National Health Service’s (NHS) only youth gender clinic in England and Wales, the Gender Identity Development Services (GIDS) at the Tavistock in London.
In this episode, Sasha and Stella speak with Hannah about how, although she continued to report and expose questions, nothing changed and she eventually felt compelled to write a book; as she says herself “I knew too much.” In this probing discussion, issues such as puberty blockers, overwhelming caseloads, and the impact of lobby groups, such as Mermaids, are highlighted and explored.

Hannah’s work at Newsnight ultimately helped precipitate an extensive review by the NHS and unearthed evidence that was later used in several sets of legal proceedings. Newsnight’s reporting also led directly to an inspection by England’s healthcare regulator, the Care Quality Commission, which branded the services provided by the GIDS clinic “Inadequate.” The service is scheduled to close in spring 2023 following a series of critical reports.

Hannah’s new book, Time To Think: The Inside Story of the Collapse of the Tavistock’s Gender Service for Children, is a meticulously researched account of what went wrong at the Tavistock Clinic, which made headlines around the world on publication. In writing the book, Hannah studied thousands of pages of documents, including internal emails and unpublished reports, and well over a hundred hours of personal testimony from GIDS clinicians, former service users, and senior Tavistock figures, to write a disturbing and gripping parable of our times.

Links:

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Time-Think-Collapse-Tavistocks-Children-ebook/dp/B0BCL1T2XN
Swift Press: https://swiftpress.com/book/time-to-think/
Waterstones: https://www.waterstones.com/book/time-to-think/hannah-barnes//9781800751118
Newsnight coverage of GIDS at the Tavistock: https://www.bayswatersupport.org.uk/bbc-newsnight-coverage

If you liked this episode, more episodes you might find interesting:

Episode “27 — Behind the Curtain: Psychotherapy for Gender Dysphoria with Sue and Marcus Evans” https://gender-a-wider-lens.captivate.fm/episode/27-behind-the-curtain-psychotherapy-for-gender-dysphoria-with-sue-and-marcus-evans

Episode “31 — Silencing Thought: A Conversation with Heather Brunskell-Evans”
https://gender-a-wider-lens.captivate.fm/episode/31-silencing-thought-a-conversation-with-heather-brunskell-evans
Episode “64 — Pioneers Series: Psychotherapy Pre- and Post-Transition with Az Hakeem” a...

Many young people who first claim to be bisexual will later identify as pansexual and then trans. Sasha and Stella discuss this common but contemporary pathway to trans identification and analyze why this might be happening and what it could mean subconsciously. They offer parents some ideas for how to engage their child during this time of exploration.
Sasha and Stella both have parent coaching membership sites that offer an expansive catalog of resources curated to support and empower parents of gender-questioning teens and young adults. Depending on the membership level, you have access to full-length in-depth topic videos, articles, book recommendations, and live Q&A sessions.
Links:
Sasha Ayad’s Parent Coaching Membership Group (SubscribeStar)
https://www.subscribestar.com/sashalpc
Stella O’Malley’s Parent Coaching Membership Group (Substack)
https://stellaomalley.substack.com/
Sasha & Stella’s Conversation with Helena:
Helena Part I: Social Justice, Fandoms & FTM Gay Boys
https://gender-a-wider-lens.captivate.fm/episode/45-helena-part-1-social-justice-fandoms-ftm-gay-boys

Helena Part II: Advice for Parents from a Former Trans Kid
https://gender-a-wider-lens.captivate.fm/episode/46-helena-part-ii-advice-for-parents-from-a-former-trans-kid

Sasha & Stella's Conversation w/ Lisa Duval:
https://gender-a-wider-lens.captivate.fm/episode/75-borderline-personality-distorted-attempts-to-integrate-a-conversation-w-lisa-duval

Upcoming GETA Webinars
https://genderexploratory.com/events/

Albert Ellis’s REPT philosophies, and The Three Basic Musts
https://www.rebtnetwork.org/whatis.html


If you liked this episode, more episodes you might find interesting:
Episode 1 — Trans: Identity vs Dysphoria https://gender-a-wider-lens.captivate.fm/episode/trans-identity-vs-dysphoria

Episode 2 — Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria. https://gender-a-wider-lens.captivate.fm/episode/rapid-onset-gender-dysphoria

Episode 32 — Stereotypes https://gender-a-wider-lens.captivate.fm/episode/32-stereotypes

Episode 35 — Communicating About Gender: Translating Between Parent & Child. https://gender-a-wider-lens.captivate.fm/episode/35-translations

Episode 39 — Nonbinary Identities a...

The development of the Dutch protocol, and the research conducted from its practice, has become the basis for gender-related medical intervention in children all over the world; specifically, using drugs to block children's puberty and subsequently using cross-sex hormones and surgery to medicalize their 'transition.' The Dutch model has the reputation of being the “gold standard of care” for youth transgender medicine and is often cited when defending the use of puberty blockers and surgeries in minors and young adults. In many ways, it created the possibility of gender 'transition' in children.
On today’s episode, Sasha and Stella welcome Dutch journalist, Jan Kuitenbrouwer and Dutch sociologist, Peter Vasterman. The two collaborated and most recently published an article; (translated title) “Trans Care Too Must Meet Health Science Standards”, weighing caution to the quality of the standard of care for transgender health and medicine, virtually all based on and adapted from the Dutch model of care.
Jan Kuitenbrouwer is Dutch writer, journalist, award-winning columnist and bestselling author, who has published extensively on gender and the trans movement since early last year. His 40+ year career yields an extensive body of work centered around themes exploring social and cultural trends, information technology, politics, and language.
Dr. Peter Vasterman is a media sociologist and former assistant professor of media sociology at the University of Amsterdam, department of Media Studies, as well as coordinator of the Master in Journalism. He obtained his PhD in 2004 at the University of Amsterdam with a dissertation, titled “Mediahype” on the effect of media hypes on news topics such as senseless violence, His main research areas include: media hypes and the role of the (social) media in the construction of social problems, scandals, crises and disasters.
In this conversation, you will hear them both speak about the prideful nature of Dutch culture: the Dutch often hold themselves in high esteem for being a ‘gidsland’, a beacon of progression for the rest of the world. In a culture where conformity is a highly valued way of life, the Dutch may leave little room for debate and contrast. As such, it is to no surprise that the Dutch mainstream media played a substantial role in promoting early medical interventions for youth with gender dysphoria. Peter and Jan discuss the challenges they faced when attempting to publish pieces which objectively review the full context of the medical protocol. Stories which attempt to frame the Dutch Protocol as anything other than a leading medical innovation with impressive aesthetic outcomes seemed to have been hushed and rejected in the news. Media messaging extravagantly lacked attention to the complicated elements of the medical pathway, and silenced the voices who tried to draw attention to the dangerous risks associated with the transgender treatments for youth.
Links:
Jan Kuitenbrouwer:
https://twitter.com/kuitenbrouwer
https://www.hpdetijd.nl/auteurs/jan-kuitenbrouwer/
Links to Articles:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1BramcMXake0JCB454My06ChP9siI8OS94Thv3izp_h0/edit

Peter Vasterman:
https://twitter.com/PeterVasterman
http://vasterman.blogspot.com/ 
a href="https://www.aup.nl/en/author/206709/peter-l-m-vasterman" rel="noopener noreferrer"...