Happier At Work‪®‬ Aoife O'Brien

Have you ever been hijacked by your emotions at work? Or stopped to consider the importance of how our emotions shape our experience at work?

In this week's episode of the Happier at Work® podcast, my guest is Dr Lola Gershfeld, founder of EmC Leaders, sheds light on the importance of understanding our emotions and attachment styles, and their impact on our workplace relationships. Her unique process helps teams build cohesive interactions, culture, and relationships in the workplace. By teaching techniques such as bonding conversations, sharing emotions, and identifying automatic thoughts, we can restructure our interactions to create a more secure bond.

Emotional engagement is a crucial aspect of our lives, and it has a significant impact on our overall happiness and productivity at work. Recognising and addressing emotions in the workplace is essential for creating a positive and harmonious work environment.

During my conversation with Dr. Gershfeld, we explored how failing to talk about emotions hinders our ability to connect with others and can lead to negative cycles of blame and complaint. The root cause of conflict is not necessarily differences in strategy or agenda; it's how we communicate and address each other's attachment needs and fears that flare up.

Dr. Gershfeld emphasised the importance of being comfortable with sharing emotions and creating an environment where it is safe to do so. Empathy plays a crucial role in understanding that people are struggling for connection. Recognising the cues of blaming, pointing, and shutting down can help us identify when someone is struggling for connection.

Our discussion also touched upon attachment theory and its implications for both personal and work relationships. It's fascinating to consider how attachment styles, shaped by our childhood experiences, can manifest in our adult interactions. Feeling secure in a relationship reduces the likelihood of triggering anxious or avoidant responses.

The main points throughout this podcast include:
- Attachment theory and how it relates to workplace dynamics
- Our brain structure and its role in regulating our thoughts and emotions
- We are wired for connection, disconnection leads to anxiety and pursuit, or avoidance and withdrawal
- Asking the question “are you there for me?” Are you accessible, responsible and engaged?
- How our emotions impact on our relationship with our manager
- What triggers us at work - from facial expressions to certain phrases
- Our three primary fears - self, other, relationship

Connect with Dr Lola Gershfeld:
Website: https://www.emcleaders.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lolagershfeld/
Company LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/company/emcleaders
Instagram: https://instagram.com/emcleaders/
Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/emcleaders
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@emcleaders6359


Do you have any feedback or thoughts on this discussion? If so, please connect with Aoife via the links below and let her know. Aoife would love to hear from you!

Connect with Happier at Work host Aoife O’Brien:
Website: https://happieratwork.ie
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aoifemobrien/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/HappierAtWorkHQ
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/happieratwork.ie/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/happieratwork.ie
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm0FKS19I5qSlFFmkx1YGqA

No matter how much you progress in your career, do you still feel like there must be something more out there?

In this week's episode of the Happier at Work® podcast, we welcome a special guest, Brian Aquart, who shares his insights and experiences regarding the "great resignation" phenomenon that many have observed during the COVID-19 pandemic. Brian, a former employment law specialist turned healthcare industry professional, offers a unique perspective on why people are leaving their jobs and embarking on new paths.

Brian introduces us to his podcast, "Why I Left," where he provides a platform for individuals to share their personal journeys of leaving stable jobs during these unprecedented times. The motivation behind their decisions ranges from a desire for alignment with personal values and aspirations, to pursuing passion projects and side hustles that foster personal growth and fulfilment.

The pandemic has forced many individuals to reflect on their career choices and evaluate if their current jobs truly bring them happiness and purpose. Brian emphasises that being happier at work goes beyond financial considerations, challenging the notion that money is the sole indicator of success. Instead, he urges us to consider the impact we have on the world and the kind of impact we want to make.

Through his own work in healthcare, Brian has found fulfilment by focusing on initiatives that positively impact lives, such as working with students and exposing them to opportunities in the healthcare industry. He reminds us that finding something we genuinely love to do and feel passionate about, coupled with making a difference in our chosen field, is key to experiencing happiness in our careers.

The main points throughout this podcast include:
- Personal stories from career changers, the main reasons people left stable jobs during the pandemic
- We don’t talk enough about job resignations, and what we can learn from the process
- How money is not purpose, and people want to have an impact through their work
- When you reach a certain level and think “is this all there is?”
- How to create more opportunities for yourself
- What companies should be offering to employees to prevent resignations

Connect with Brian Aquart:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/brianaquart/
https://www.WhyILeft.co
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/why-i-left/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/officialwhyileft/
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/why-i-left/id1613667100



YouTube Channel Link
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMgQI4X0kEp8-o7Z9D3tRmg


Do you have any feedback or thoughts on this discussion? If so, please connect with Aoife via the links below and let her know. Aoife would love to hear from you!

Connect with Happier at Work host Aoife O’Brien:
Website: https://happieratwork.ie
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aoifemobrien/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/HappierAtWorkHQ
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/happieratwork.ie/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/happieratwork.ie
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm0FKS19I5qSlFFmkx1YGqA

We want to extend a special thank you to all of you who have left reviews and reached out to us. Your support means the world to us and it keeps us motivated to continue creating content that makes a positive impact on your work life.

In today's podcast episode, host Aoife O'Brien dives into the fascinating topic of autonomy at work. Autonomy refers to the sense of choice and control we have over what we do and how we do it. It's amazing how the sudden shift to remote work during the pandemic gave many of us a greater sense of autonomy – the ability to control our own time and work in a way that suits us best.

But is more autonomy always better? Aoife challenges this assumption and offers insights on finding the right balance. Too much autonomy without guidance can leave us feeling lost and directionless, while too little autonomy under the watchful eye of a micromanager can be demoralising and demotivating.

Key points covered in this episode:
- Our psychological needs at work
- Dealing with a micromanager
- Setting clear expectations
- Finding the balance of autonomy

She also highlights the three core psychological needs we all have at work: autonomy, competence, and relatedness. Autonomy fosters job satisfaction, engagement, and trust within the organisation – ultimately leading to better business results. However, it's essential to adapt our need for autonomy as our careers progress and our roles change.

If you've ever dealt with a micromanager, Aoife offers practical advice on addressing the issue by managing upwards. Communication is key, and expressing your preferences for greater independence can lead to a more balanced relationship.

Remember, it's important to understand the needs and expectations of both yourself and your manager. Finding proactive ways to contribute and offer information in advance can help alleviate some of the micromanagement tendencies.

Ultimately, we all deserve to work in an environment that nurtures autonomy while providing the necessary guidance and support to thrive. So, let's embrace autonomy at work, strive for competence, foster relatedness, and find the perfect balance that leads to greater happiness in our professional lives.

If you'd like to explore more about the three core psychological needs at work and discover your unique needs, and learn how to manage a bad boss, check out these previous episodes mentioned in today’s episode:

https://happieratwork.ie/113-how-to-handle-a-bad-boss-with-aoife-obrien/

https://happieratwork.ie/79-unlocking-true-happiness-at-work-with-aoife-obrien/

Connect with Happier at Work host Aoife O’Brien:
Website: https://happieratwork.ie
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aoifemobrien/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/HappierAtWorkHQ
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/happieratwork.ie/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/happieratwork.ie
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm0FKS19I5qSlFFmkx1YGqA

Do you want to be more proactive when it comes to managing your career?

My guest on the podcast this week is Harsha Boralessa of "Reframe & Reset Your Career" podcast, which was inspired by his passion for neuroscience and psychology. Harsha and I talk about how to be more strategic when it comes to managing your career. Harsha shares some practical steps you can take today to be happier at work.

The main points throughout this podcast include:
- Understanding the concept of career development and the importance of having a bias towards action
- Remaining loyal to your employer while simultaneously being open to possibilities
- Thinking about how you can stand out by asking yourself “how am I adding value to the organisation every day?”
- How your personal brand impacts on how people see you, and knowing what you stand for
- How to effectively manage perceived failure

Connect with Harsha Boralessa:
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/harsha-boralessa-cfa-aca-fct-62aa199/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/HarshaBoralessa
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/harshaboralessa/

Reframe & Reset Your Career Podcast Links
Apple: cutt.ly/rrycapplepodcasts
Spotify: cutt.ly/rrycspotify
Google: cutt.ly/rrycgooglepodcasts

Reframe & Reset Your Career YouTube Channel Link
https://www.youtube.com/c/ReframeResetYourCareer

Resources:
Think Big by Grace Lordan
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Think-Big-Small-Steps-Future-ebook/dp/B08J69JSG5

SKILLDING
https://www.skillding.com/happier

Do you have any feedback or thoughts on this discussion? If so, please connect with Aoife via the links below and let her know. Aoife would love to hear from you!

Connect with Happier at Work host Aoife O’Brien:
Website: https://happieratwork.ie
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aoifemobrien/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/HappierAtWorkHQ
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/happieratwork.ie/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/happieratwork.ie
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm0FKS19I5qSlFFmkx1YGqA

Are you at a career crossroads and wondering how to make the right choice?

In this enlightening podcast episode, Aoife O'Brien dives into the world of career anchors and choices with Peter Schein, co-author of "Career Anchors: The Changing Nature of Careers." Peter explains how career anchors help individuals understand their unique values and preferences, guiding them towards fulfilling and successful career paths. From technical functional roles to autonomy, creativity, general management, and more, the conversation explores the different career anchors and how they influence our decisions. Discover the power of self-awareness in career planning and decision-making, and gain insights into finding a balance between personal and professional goals.

The main points throughout this podcast include:
- Understanding the concept of career anchors and their role in making career decisions.
- Exploring the eight different career anchors, including technical functional, autonomy, challenge, entrepreneurship, general management, service, stability, and lifestyle.
- Recognising the importance of aligning your career choices with your personal values and aspirations.
- How the pandemic has reshaped the way we perceive and approach our careers.
- The significance of self-awareness in navigating career transitions and building a fulfilling professional journey.

“The next one, it was actually one of the newer anchors called to challenge and risk is how we label it, but it's basically, you don't ever want to be too comfortable doing something that's simple. You always have to be finding something that is boil the ocean hard or you, you're sort of a risk junkie.

A friend many, many years ago was a capital market, financial instrument trader and was given the opportunity to, become a manager in that same, department. No, it was the challenge of your life on the line with every trade you make. That is what motivated him. He didn't wanna manage other people doing that.

In 2023, the world embraced that idea, but when this research started at the Sloan Business School at MIT, Ed and other people working on it knew that those people were all going to say, I want to be the boss, I want to be the general manager. I'm at business school because I want to be a CEO. But I think we've moved past that. And they discovered in the research that if nine out of 10 of their panellists said that, by the time they got 20 years later, less than half of them were actually still saying they wanted to be the CEO.”

Listen back: https://happieratwork.ie/happier-at-work-68-embracing-the-gentle-art-of-humble-inquiry-with-edgar-and-peter-schein/

Connect with Peter Schein:
Website: https://ocli.org/

Do you have any feedback or thoughts on this discussion? If so, please connect with Aoife via the links below and let her know. Aoife would love to hear from you!

Connect with Happier at Work host Aoife O’Brien:
Website: https://happieratwork.ie
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aoifemobrien/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/HappierAtWorkHQ
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/happieratwork.ie/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/happieratwork.ie
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm0FKS19I5qSlFFmkx1YGqA

How can we create happier and healthier workplaces that prioritise mental wellbeing?

In this episode, Aoife O’Brien sits down with mental health advocate, former rugby player, coach and well-known television pundit, Brent Pope, to discuss strategies for improving mental health in the workplace. Brent shares insights from his experience in mental health advocacy and offers practical tips for individuals and organisations. They delve into the importance of open conversations about mental health, finding purpose in your work, and fostering a supportive work culture. Brent introduces his Elephant in the Room project, which uses art to spark discussions and raise awareness about mental health. This episode encourages listeners to consider the elephant in their own workplace and take steps toward positive change.

The main points throughout this podcast include:
- The significance of addressing mental health in the workplace.
- Strategies for creating a supportive work environment.
- Embracing open conversations about mental health.
- Finding purpose and meaning in your work.
- The importance of connections and support.
- Brent's Elephant in the Room project and its impact on raising awareness.

“If we know that the three biggest costs in business today for any business across the world is an absentee workforce, people taking days off work, obviously it's a lack of productivity when they're in the workplace. So not achieving sales figures or manufacturing figures. And the third one is the cost involved in training employees that then move on a couple of months later to a new job. If these are the three biggest costs and the three biggest reasons for those costs are mental health. Yeah. And yet the lowest spend and budgets from companies are around mental health. So what am I missing? I always get up. What am I missing here?”

Listen Back:
Episode 120 with Sharath Jeevan - https://happieratwork.ie/120-the-journey-to-self-mastery-and-success-with-sharath-jeevan/

You tube link of this extended episode: https://youtu.be/Rk7B8QP8l2A

Connect with Brent Pope:
Website: https://www.elephantintheroom.ie
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/brentpope

Do you have any feedback or thoughts on this discussion? If so, please connect with Aoife via the links below and let her know. Aoife would love to hear from you!

Connect with Happier at Work host Aoife O’Brien:

Website: https://happieratwork.ie
Imposter Syndrome Website: https://www.impostersyndrome.ie/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aoifemobrien/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/HappierAtWorkHQ
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/happieratwork.ie/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/happieratwork.ie
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm0FKS19I5qSlFFmkx1YGqA