32 episodes

Our world has never been more divided. Do you find yourself hiding who you are? Do you let people say things around you that upset you for fear of retaliation? Are you afraid the if people knew what you really thought that you'd be judged? Criticized? Even fired?

These are tough conversations to have with others but tough conversations to have with yourself. Why do you feel triggered? How do you navigate the pain?

Join me as we talk through these tough conversations and look at tools and ways to work through them and get past them.

Marriage, Money, Relationships, Politics, Religion and so much more...

Having Tough Conversations Podcast Coach Caroline

    • Health & Fitness
    • 5.0 • 3 Ratings

Our world has never been more divided. Do you find yourself hiding who you are? Do you let people say things around you that upset you for fear of retaliation? Are you afraid the if people knew what you really thought that you'd be judged? Criticized? Even fired?

These are tough conversations to have with others but tough conversations to have with yourself. Why do you feel triggered? How do you navigate the pain?

Join me as we talk through these tough conversations and look at tools and ways to work through them and get past them.

Marriage, Money, Relationships, Politics, Religion and so much more...

    Shoulding on yourself

    Shoulding on yourself

    • 8 min
    What Are You Reflecting

    What Are You Reflecting

    Short episode summary
    Sometimes what makes us mad about other people is a direct reflection of the things we can’t stand about ourselves. Let’s dive into what you can do about it!
     
    Timestamps of big takeaways
    [00:14] This week I want to talk about my recent interview with Melissa Duran
    [00:40] Harsh truth alert - sometimes what you don’t like in others is a reflection of what you don’t like in yourself
    [01:10] The things you like about others are also a reflection of you
    [02:10] Your thoughts create your results - so what you think about in yourself, you bring about in terms of who you interact with
    [02:40]Become aware of who you are, and your characteristics with a simple exercise I share
    [03:27] If you doubt this exercise will work, I challenge you to get on a discovery call with me
     
    Rate, Review & Subscribe Reminder
    Don’t forget to like and subscribe to this show. You can also rate and review the show on Spotify or iTunes as well, or you can listen to the show directly on Libsyn here. 
     
    Links mentioned in episode
    Ep 28 - 5 Tips to Help You Not Lose Your Sh_t with Melissa Duran https://havingtoughconversations.libsyn.com/5-tips-to-help-you-not-lose-your-sh_t-with-melissa-duran 
    Interested in a free discovery coaching call? Reach out at info@carolinebjorkquist.com
    https://carolinebjorkquist.com/
    https://www.havingtoughconversations.com/
    Have questions? Email me at questions@havingtoughconversations.com

    • 4 min
    All Comes Back to Are You Worthy

    All Comes Back to Are You Worthy

    Short episode summary
    You are enough. You are enough. Do you believe me? If not, you need this episode right away! Tune in now!
     
    Timestamps of big takeaways
    [00:14] I open the show reflecting on the amazing conversation I had in the last episode with Melissa Duran
    [00:50] For as different as Melissa and I are, I love that we could connect on something we were both feeling - If you missed the episode, be sure to grab the link below!
    [01:28] Everything I’m coaching my clients on all comes down to one big elephant in the room - you thinking you’re not good enough!
    [02:48] Another common thread I’m seeing across all of my coaching clients is thinking they don’t have enough time - but it’s actually related to feelings of not being good enough
    [03:55] A third commonality is the feeling of not knowing how to do something or make a change - and you guessed it! This also goes back to feelings of unworthiness
    [04:23] I want to challenge you to consider whether or not feeling like you’re not good enough is true or just a false story you tell yourself
    [04:30] Even I have had feelings of being unworthy, and I share about some times I felt this way
    [05:50] I share a moment in my life where it became clear to me that I am enough, and so is every person on this planet
    [07:00] I challenge you to consider how amazing it is that you are here right now, and if you don’t feel like you are enough, I’d love to hop on a discovery call with you



    Rate, Review & Subscribe Reminder
    Don’t forget to like and subscribe to this show. You can also rate and review the show on Spotify or iTunes as well, or you can listen to the show directly on Libsyn here. 
     
    Links mentioned in episode
    Ep 28 - 5 Tips to Help You Not Lose Your Sh_t with Melissa Duran https://havingtoughconversations.libsyn.com/5-tips-to-help-you-not-lose-your-sh_t-with-melissa-duran 
    Interested in a free discovery coaching call? Reach out at info@carolinebjorkquist.com
    https://carolinebjorkquist.com/
    https://www.havingtoughconversations.com/
    Have questions? Email me at questions@havingtoughconversations.com

    • 8 min
    5 Tips to Help You Not Lose Your Sh_t with Melissa Duran

    5 Tips to Help You Not Lose Your Sh_t with Melissa Duran

    Short episode summary
    Buckle up friends because this is a longer episode than usual, but it’s for a very good reason. I’m chatting with my dear friend Melissa Duran. If you’ve ever lost your cool with someone you need to hear the amazing coping mechanisms we share. Tune in now!
     
    Timestamps of big takeaways
    [00:14] I’ve got a special treat today! I’m chatting with my dear friend Melissa Duran
    [00:36] Melissa introduces herself and shares what she does
    [01:19] I share how Melissa and I met
    [02:16] Melissa and I hopped on a call and coached each other through how we’re going to handle the holidays and visiting family members that have opposing views
    [03:04] Melissa is doing a series on how not to lose your sh*t when talking to people that can trigger you
    [04:26] Married to a conservative, Melissa is liberal, and she talks about the dynamics
    [05:46] Seeing someone else’s point of view is sometimes the first step in getting along despite your differences
    [07:18] Here Melissa shares her tips for the shy woman who needs her voice to be heard, and shares how differently boys and girls are spoken to
    [09:06] Who Melissa is now is different from who she was growing up because she was afraid to use her voice to avoid stirring the pot - She used to very much be a people pleaser
    [09:44] The 5 tips are so important, especially for women because we are all different, but we all deserve to have a voice
    [11:20] We can have different beliefs. That is okay, and we can learn from each other
    [12:27] Because she cares about her marriage and loves her husband, Melissa admits that she’s done the most work with her husband on letting him have his own opinions without allowing him to trigger her. And that’s the first of the 5 things - Everyone is allowed to have their own opinion
    [13:24] Melissa and I can watch the same program and take two completely different things from it because of our beliefs and backgrounds
    [14:18] Sometimes the key to keeping the peace is just to accept that unless everyone agrees on something we have to understand that it’s an opinion - not facts
    [15:09] It’s not always easy to avoid losing your cool when you have differing opinions
    [15:34] We create our own little bubbles, but we have to step outside of our comfort zones to really get to know people and grow as humans
    [16:42] The second of the five things is to hold space for that opinion - this means allowing the person who has a differing opinion to state it out loud without judgment or emotion - and this can be hard!
    [18:00] I explain how when it comes to hot button topics, I try to neutralize them as much as possible to avoid being triggered
    [20:11] I share a coping mechanism I learned from Peter Bogosian to stop the conversation and ask the other person if they can even see a different perspective for a moment. If not, you can agree to not discuss it further. Period.
    [22:33] I discuss my running business and that my partner and I disagree politically
    [24:21] The third thing is to realize that a person’s political beliefs are just a small part of who they are. Think of it like a pie - you can have 8 slices and 1 you don’t like. But it’s just a piece
    [26:09] I bring up my mantra of not spending unnecessary time with people I don’t like
    [28:21] You don’t have to do things you don’t want to do
    [29:58] The fourth thing is to put things in perspective and ask yourself, “How much is this really affecting me right now?” Is it really bugging you enough at this moment to have a conflict?
    [31:25] Sometimes we use conflict as a scapegoat to avoid talking about the things that are really bugging us. For example, fighting about politics to bypass a hard conversation about overeating or not working out
    [33:48] What makes us upset is often what we make it mean rather than what is actually said
    [36:21] The last of the five things is to have compassion, but unfortunately anger is easier to market than getting along wi

    • 49 min
    Daily Mantras

    Daily Mantras

    Short episode summary
    This short episode packs a punch and may uncover some truths about you that you don’t yet realize. Tune in now!
     
    Timestamps of big takeaways
    [00:14] Today, I’m sharing a mantra I’ve used for about three decades 
    [01:28] To me, the passage by Nathaniel Branden is so powerful that I memorized it
    [01:54] Are you pretending in your daily life?
    [02:30] Have you ever heard the phrase “Clutching my pearls?”
    [02:50] You’re allowed to let your immediate surroundings make you happy
    [03:49] Are you keeping silent when you don’t agree with others?
    [04:22] Sometimes we need to listen to the opposite side of an argument to really be confident in our opinions
    [04:40] Want a recording of the passage in this episode? Email me for a copy, and we’ll chat next week!



    Rate, Review & Subscribe Reminder
    Don’t forget to like and subscribe to this show. You can also rate and review the show on Spotify or iTunes as well, or you can listen to the show directly on Libsyn here. 
     
    Links mentioned in episode
    http://www.nathanielbranden.com/
    Interested in the free download I mentioned or a free discovery coaching call? Reach out at info@carolinebjorkquist.com
    https://carolinebjorkquist.com/
    https://www.havingtoughconversations.com/
    Have questions? Email me at questions@havingtoughconversations.com

    • 5 min
    Ep 26 Rules and Boundaries

    Ep 26 Rules and Boundaries

    Short episode summary
    You can set a boundary that prevents fighting and conflicts in your life. Bold statement isn’t it? Tune in now to find out what I mean!
     
    Timestamps of big takeaways
    [00:14] Let’s talk about rules and boundaries. I kick things off with an example of my fence being the boundary telling you not to enter my space without permission or my dogs could bite you
    [01:25] What about something that doesn’t have a clear boundary like a fence? I share what that might look like
    [02:21] The problem is many of us are scared to set boundaries
    [02:53] Let’s look at the fear of boundaries from a different perspective
    [03:43] Believe it or not, we’re all narcissistic and selfish to a degree
    [04:15] Sometimes a feeling of hurt or disrespect has nothing to do with you
    [05:08] You have to set a boundary and have a conversation to prevent issues in the future
    [05:28] Making assumptions can cause massive conflict
    [06:09] I admit though, some people are just not nice, and I challenge you to set boundaries with them anyway to control your own story and protect your own feelings
    [06:58] If someone is not going to respect your boundaries, you have the power to make a change to only interact with people who will respect them
    [08:01] At the same time, you can’t expect people to know your boundaries without telling them
    [08:35] I talk about my years of experience and how I’ve dealt with caring about what people think
    [10:04] The key takeaway I want you to have from this episode is that you can choose how you live your life
     
    Rate, Review & Subscribe Reminder
    Don’t forget to like and subscribe to this show. You can also rate and review the show on Spotify or iTunes as well, or you can listen to the show directly on Libsyn here. 
     
    Links mentioned in episode
    Ep 24 Manuals for Others and Yourself https://havingtoughconversations.libsyn.com/ep-24-manuals-for-others-and-yourself
    https://carolinebjorkquist.com/
    https://www.havingtoughconversations.com/
    Have questions? Email me at questions@havingtoughconversations.com

    • 12 min

Customer Reviews

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3 Ratings

Susan Crandall ,

Thought provoking!

Great thought provoking content.

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