HILF 17: Joan of Arc with Lauren Pritchard

HILF: History I'd Like to F**k

Lauren Prichard is a renowned actress and improviser whose credits include Disney, Upright Citizens Brigade and MADtv. She and Dawn work together as street improvisors in the New York Window element at Universal Studios, Hollywood - and they're mutual fans of one another. 

Lauren's knowledge of the life of Joan of Arc is limited to her appearance in Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure - and as the namesake of canned beans. Dawn delights in delivering not only the amazing story of this 15th C. heroine, but some of the top-shelf drama that precipitated her appearance in our history books.

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00:03:52 - After some initial jib-jab and mutual adoration, Lauren tells the story of how she got the job on MADtv. An incredible rats-to-(comparative) riches story. 

00:10:28 - Dawn discusses her lack of prior knowledge about Joan and - as usual - sharing her primary source of research: Joan of Arc, A History by Helen Castor. Among the reasons Dawn chose this book is because it gives a great foundation for the lay of the land before Joan's incredible appearance. 

00:13:37 - The HILF of Joan of Arc officially begins in the 92nd year of the 100-Year War, and everyone is fucking exhausted. The fight between the French and the English is further complicated by a Civil War within France between the Burgundies and the Armagnacs. Fractured and on their heels, it appears to many that the English may finally prove victorious and sieze the French throne. 

00:23:28 - It is from this depth of despair that the would-be king of France gets news that a girl is there to see him. A girl dressed as a boy who says she is there to do three things at God's command: 1) She is to personally lead his Army, 2) She will get him coronated as the rightful King, 3) She will expel the English from all French lands. Individually, these are preposterous ideas - taken together they are virtually impossible without a miracle... Which Joan assures will materialize. 

00:34:50 - After incredibly accomplishing the first two items on her list, Joan begins to suffer defeats and set-backs and loses the confidence of the King. She is soon captured by the Burgundies who instead of turning her over to the Armagnacs as a military prisoner, they hand her over to the English to be tried for heresy. After two escape attempts, her trial begins in 1431 when she is 19. 

--BREAK--

00:38:52 - We pick up with Joan at the beginning of her trial for heresy. The English can not abide the idea that the God they share with France would have told anyone they would lose... Her conviction was a foregone conclusion, but more than that the court wanted Joan to break. Apologize and capitulate and admit she was mad, wrong or full of sin. 

00:42:55 - Joan is alone, a teenager, and the only woman present from the guards, to judges to witnesses. She's illiterate and facing some of the most 'learned men' of the age. The trial is led by Bishop Cauchon (not pronounced 'cock-on', unfortunately) a Frenchmen, but a Burgundy Frenchman who has it in for Joan and assembles a stupendous amount of bureaucracy and committees and tedium in order to burn her. She holds her own. Big time.

00:50:00 - Joan withstands the trial, refuses to be intimidated by the promise of torture, and ultimately is tied to a stake at the center of town and given ONE MORE CHANCE to sign a confession and save her life... WHICH SHE DOES. In turn, they cut her down and take her back to jail to live another day.  Dawn stops on this point because it came as such a surprise. It doesn't last long, however. Joan misunderstood what was expected of her in exchange for whatever it was she signed (she couldn't read it) and so she returns to the stake 7 days later.

00:54:25 - Joan asks for someone to hold a cross in front of her  as the pyre is lit. They do and she watches it as she burns to death. Her ashes are unceremoniously thrown into the Seine. 

01:00:16 - Eventually the Burgundies and the Armagnacs make peace and again stand unified against the English. King Charles, now realizing that Joan would forever be tied to his name, appeals to the Pope to reverse her heresy conviction. A second trial begins. This one too has a foregone conclusion, but tells us more about Joan as human being - with family, friends and an identity that predates the shining armor. 

01:04:00 - In 1920, she becomes - not just a person who has been acquitted of heresy - but she is canonized as a Saint. It is highly unusual for someone to be canonized by the same Church who martyred them. History, am I right?

Dawn concludes with a movie suggestion: The Messenger, starring Milla Jovovich as Joan of Arc. 

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NEXT EPISODE drops June 22nd: The Iranian Revolution with (my neighbor, and Iranian immigrant) Zari Faripour.

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